What age gap is too big?

@liquorice (3901)
April 14, 2008 8:33am CST
Do big differences in age matter in a relationship? My friend's boyfriend is in his forties while she's in her early thirties and she's getting concerns from family members. I think if they love eachother that's all that matters. Someone else I know married a fifty-seven year old when she wasn't yet thirty, and they've been married ten years. I know forty-year olds who seem like twenty-year olds, so I really think that age is just a number and it's happiness that counts. Do people agree or do you think that there is a certain point where the gap is just too big?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@nancyrowina (3850)
14 Apr 08
I agree it depends on the people and how much they love each other, my boyfriend is 20 years older than me but it doesn't cause any problems. People joke about it sometimes but no one has ever seriously had a problem with it. Personally I draw the line at men who are older than my dad, but that's just me, if two people are in love it shouldn't matter how old they are.
1 person likes this
@rombi001 (943)
14 Apr 08
I don't see why people joke about it... I used to think its awkward having such an age difference but when you get older you see that after the age of 23-25 everyone is the same... and older people are easier to get along with
2 people like this
14 Apr 08
yes particularly with men, they take longer to reach maturity it seems only one boy friend I've ever had has been the same age as me. Strangely the jokes are always aimed at my boy friend too, no one jokes about me being into older men.
@liquorice (3901)
24 Apr 08
Thanks for your answer. I like your point about drawing the line at men who are older than your dad! I can understand that, but I agree that if two people love each other and they're not hurting anyone then love is all that matters!
• United States
14 Apr 08
I defenialty don't think the gap between someone in their forties and someone in their thirties is too big! Especially if they love eachother. I do think that I, personally, would limit my self as to the age gap I want in a relationship, but I agree with you...if they love eachother and it's right, then that's great!!!
1 person likes this
@liquorice (3901)
24 Apr 08
Thanks for your answer, I don't think people should limit themselves on age gap either. Sadly it's other peoples' reactions that sometimes make things difficult, and it's not fair on the couple who just want to get on with their lives and be happy!
@rombi001 (943)
14 Apr 08
Age does not matter... As long as its true love... My uncle is 15 years older than his wife and they are still happily married... You shouldn;t be concerned about what the other people will say..
@liquorice (3901)
24 Apr 08
Thanks for your reply. I agree with what you say. Glad to hear that your uncle and his wife have a happy marriage too.
@subha12 (18452)
• India
15 Apr 08
i think in true love age gap is not an issue. but the family members may be against a big gap as they can anticipate that there can be adjustment problem in later life. i think in arranged marriages, where the persons are not in love before, the age gap should be like this,
@liquorice (3901)
24 Apr 08
Thanks for your answer. I'm curious about why you think that the age gap should be bigger for people in arranged marriages.
• United States
24 Apr 08
A big age gap can be a problem but there are some that the age gap works well for them. Age is a number; you have to look at the mental age of each person. My personal experience is this: I married a man 3 years younger but after jumping into that so I would not be alone, I found out that mentally he was more like 10 years younger. I stayed married to him for 10 years because of the kids. I then got involved with a man 9 years older than me and found that he goes for younger women so he can control them. So many times I reminded me of how old he was so that I would listen to his "wisdom". I was not interested in another father and that is how he began to treat me. I am now engaged to a man 4 years older than me but I feel no age difference. We are very equal partners in every way. That all being said...yes age is a number...if they have the equality and love and all that goes with a good relationship then the family and friends need to back off before they are the ones to distroy something that could potentially be their happiness forever.