Something is going on in my daughters life and she won't tell me
By linda345
@linda345 (2661)
Canada
April 15, 2008 3:33pm CST
My oldest daughter broke up with her boyfriend of a year in December. She met a guy at a bar and rushed into a relationship with him. She want us to let him come live with us. We refused because he was a stranger and we know nothing about him. She moved out of the house on January 1, with him and her daughter. Well they broke up about a week ago. She was ready to start looking for a place and yesterday the resturant she worked for closed down. She said there is alot more to the story than I know. I wish she would let me know. I worry so much for her and my granddaughter. We moved when she moved out to a small 2 bedroom townhouse. No one is allowed to sleep in the basement. And the other bedroom would never fit both of them. How can I help her if she won't tell me what is going on? It is a crazy situation.
2 people like this
6 responses
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
15 Apr 08
That is very hard. I don't have any child but I will try to express what is in my mind! This time she is really in a difficult situation and what she needs is time for herself, if you can let know that you will be there for here, support her and never blame or ridicule of what she did, I'm pretty sure, she will start talking and sharing!
1 person likes this
@linda345 (2661)
• Canada
16 Apr 08
I think she maybe embarrased too. She might not want to admit that she went alittle to fast into this relationship. All her old friends sorta of isolated her too. I don't know if this is something they did or the boyfriend did because that is something she won't talk about too. I think he had alot of control in the relationship.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
15 Apr 08
I understand how you feel and I can tell you're a great mom since you have that care to her, we will just hope she just need time to be alone and will be coming out soon to talk to you and share his problems.
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
16 Apr 08
Hi linda345! I guess, that is one of the hardest thing in life..when you are trying to reach out and they won't let you in. Let her feel that you care and love her no matter what. Don't push her in telling you whatever is bothering her. Give her space and once she has gotten the courage to tell you everything, she will. Be patient dear friend. I know it is hard because you just want to help her as much as you can..but let her be in the meantime. Sooner or later, your daughter will come to you. Just my thoughts. Take care and have a nice day!
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
16 Apr 08
Hi linda345! Your hubby is right too and I can't really blame you for worrying..I guess that is what mothers do. Worry for their child because they love them so much! I hope and pray that soon everything will be alright for your daughter. Take care of yourself and don't worry too much dear friend. Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@TriciaW (2441)
• United States
15 Apr 08
All you can do is be there for her when she comes to you. Listen and don't give her any I told you sold comments or she will not come back. She made a mistake it happens. Whatever else happened or is happening she will tell you in time when she is ready. As for her living arrangement there is housing out there for people with little or no income as well as Health and Human Services to help with food stamps and month support. She needs to apply for all of that. HUD housing may not be her first choice but it is a start. Since she has a daughter she has a number of options. Just let her know those options and again be there for her when she wants to talk. Best of luck to you.
@Elixiress (3878)
•
16 Apr 08
She will tell you when she is ready to. If you force her then you will push her away. She probably wants space to get her head around it and she is probably scared you will say "I told you so" since you didn't really approve of the relationship in the beginning.
1 person likes this
@bc3000 (42)
•
15 Apr 08
i don't have children or anything, so i really don't know what it's like, but i think the best thing to do is to not pressure her to tell you, but instead make sure she knows you're always there if she needs you. let her know that you'd like to know, but don't force her to say what it is. she'll probably let you know in her own time, if you don't find out somehow. good luck!
1 person likes this
@reene0225 (351)
• United States
19 Apr 08
That is a very difficult situation. There's really not much you can do for her if she won't let you know what's going on in her life and your grand daughters life. It's a sad thing when people bring kids into it. It's hard for her too since she's a single mom now and no place to work or live. Unless he's decent enough to let her stay there until she finds another job or place to stay. I wish you much luck with your daughter and her as well.
