A death in the family.

@fpd1955 (2074)
United States
April 16, 2008 7:33am CST
My partner's father died yesterday. He was not a well man, ever since he came back from Vietnam. He was a meth addict and an alcoholic. He was slowly killing himself. The thing is, my partner has not seen him since 2003. She last saw him when we wnet to Florida for her grandfather's funeral. She ended up in the psyche ward of a hospital down there for 3 weeks, the reasons of which I will not go in to, but her family is not healthy for her. She has been heavily medicated since then. She is feeling guilty because she cannot go to Florida for his memorial service. Cannot afford it, is one reason. But if it was the right thing to do we could scrape up the funds to pay for the plane trip. Her therapist and I don't think it would be healthy for her. I don't think we are wrong. Her father basically abandoned the her and her brother in favor of drugs. Hasn't been in their lives for over 20 years. She did call him often to try to connect with him, but he was unresponsive when she called. Now she is feeling guilty because she thinks she didn't try hard enough to connect. I have told her she did all she could and she has nothing to feel guilty about. Have you ever felt guilty when a disconnected family member died and you wish you had done more to try to get them back in your life? PEACE
1 person likes this
1 response
@bgerig (1258)
• United States
16 Apr 08
I'm sorry for your partner's loss. It appears you are making the best decision to not go. Maybe she could have a private memorial service for him with just you and she (and anyone else appropriate) to say whatever needs to be said....sing songs if appropriate, to let go of balloons, have it at a park or lake or your back yard. Maybe the therapist can give assistance as to what to do. She's lucky to have you to care about her at this time.
@fpd1955 (2074)
• United States
17 Apr 08
Hey, that's a great idea, thank you. I will bring it up to her and let you know what we do. PEACE
@fpd1955 (2074)
• United States
18 Apr 08
Hey bgerig, she liked this idea. We will do it Sunday. Thanks again. PEACE