Don't spit in the face of fate!

United States
April 16, 2008 10:36am CST
Once again, I have been inspired by something that was said in another discussion, albeit by me. I suggested that a friend not ask what's next, because in doing so, she would be tempting the fates, spitting right into fate's eye, and that's never a smart thing to do, in my book. It is what I would consider my greatest 'superstition', if you can call it that. I've gone through considerable heartache in my life, way too many deaths of loved ones, and other personal tragedies that I don't feel comfortable going into here, but no matter what's happened, the one thing I never ask is "what's next" nor do I say "that's the worst that could happen" because it's not the worst that could happen! There's always something else that could shake us right off our pins, to be sure. And you? Do you spit into the eye of fate? Or is there something else, another question, that you refuse to ask of the universe? Something that you just don't dare offer up? One time, when I was about 13 years old, I said to god that I would sell my soul to revenge a terrible wrong that was perpetrated upon my older brother, and boy, did I ever want to take THAT back, and fast! I had my first spiritual experience then, I 'saw' god, the good 'he' represented, and I also saw the other side, too, the one that could offer me exactly what I asked for. I made a choice that night and it's affected my life in every way, ever since. Please share with me.
4 people like this
5 responses
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
17 Apr 08
There is one time, I was so mad at the whole world and always asks why. I guess it was because I was still young, wild and don't have a way to deal with things head-on. I am glad that I met good people, who's older than me and thought me a thing or two about LIFE. I felt really good after realizing that I could change, if only I just learn to accept reality.. From then on, I could deal with problems lightly and my hopes are high that things will get back to what I always wanted it to be. I just have to learn from it, since this world is a combination of good and bad things..
• United States
17 Apr 08
raijin, pangga mahal, thank you so much for being here. Isn't it nice that you've grown, and learned, and become wiser? And life becomes easier, too, when we listen to it, to the lessons it gives us and the things we learn from watching those around us, those older, who've lived more and seen more. You are a smart young man, raijin, and you have a huge heart with lots and lots of love in it and you're going to be the most wonderful person, even moreso than you are now, in a few years, when you're older, and you better know right now that the women are going to be crazy about you, and not just for the way you look either, but for what's in your mind and in your heart. I just hope that I still know you then. Some people, you just want to keep in your life, like I do you. Thank you raijin, for joining my discussion and giving us your thoughts. Oh, sorry, I just thought of something I forgot while ago, and thats this. Not only do you have the mind and heart that I mentioned, but you have the greatest sense of humor, too! You're funny and you can see the humor outside of yourself too, and that's priceless. And you can look at something, an idea, whatever, that you've not come into contact with before, and see it without instant judgment or criticism, but look at it objectively and form your opinion about it only after you've done that. That's something that not many people can claim. And that makes you even more special.
2 people like this
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
17 Apr 08
Gee, thanks for the compliment Nova. Am blushing right now.. See? I hope that I don't try to hard to be just like what you've said there, sometimes I get so carried away and that's where things end up wrong.. I'll do my best to keep and at least broaden my knowledge of things, do my best and NOT just TRY. Knowing you and others here made me learn some stuffs that I haven't nor wouldn't have any chance of knowing, that's why I am still here and enjoy whatever this site could offer. Hope that we could be still be friends, no matter what the future holds for all of us here..
• United States
18 Apr 08
You're welcome, raijin. I meant every word I said, and you deserve all of them. I don't think you try too hard, but then, I don't know you in offline life, but it seems to me that you try just hard enough, and that you keep your mind and heart very open, and you strive to be the best man you can be, and I think that's completely admirable. As to learning from myself and others here, that's part of what I was saying before, raijin. That's part of what makes you so great. You're young, but you have such a willingness and desire to learn and grow and that's the KEY, sweetheart. You've got the key. You're gonna be great. Don't worry too much and try not to completely over analyze everything, ok? Try to go with the flow, take the good, and let the bad roll off.
1 person likes this
@skinnychick (6906)
• United States
17 Apr 08
You never ever ask the universe that question- big no no for me too. I think the whole trick with asking the universe for help or things is that you don't dwell on what you don't have or the negative feelings. You have to ask the universe and focus hard on the positive feelings or what you want to attain through the universe. It's easier to do than explain but it works for me.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Apr 08
Skinnychick, you're so right, it's much easier to live than to explain this idea. It's the way I live my life, not tempting the fates, not ever asking what could be worse. 'Cause I know. And the way I know is that I've lived it, I've done it, and I've seen the consequences of those questions, just like you. You know, I've been seeing you here since my beginning, and the more I see you, the more I find that I very, very much like you. Thank you for being here, Skinny, both my discussion and on the Lot. You make both a better place to be.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Apr 08
Nova, In my lately fragile (but getting better state) I really needed this discussion and almost started one similar myself! Thanks so much for your kind words, I have been hearing alot of unkind words lately and this made my day! XOXOXOXOXO
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Apr 08
I understand being fragile, Skinny, and I'm so sorry that you've been feeling that way - it sucks. Not a fun place to be. But I'm happy to know that you seem to be coming out of it, seeing the light at then end of the tunnel. If I helped lift you, lighten you, I'm very very happy about that. It is entirely my pleasure. I'm real good at pep talks, darlin, any time you need a pick me up, give me a ringy dingy. I can provide references upon request.
• Regina, Saskatchewan
17 Apr 08
Isn't it nice when our friends inspire us? wink, wink! I've always believed in God. For many years I was afraid of Him as I was taught to be. But like you, at about the same age, in a flash of a temper that had me literally prepared to commit murder, I too saw the 'face' of God. One brother looked ready to kill me too and the other just looked sad, but loving. I looked from one to the other and stayed focused on the one that looked sad, and my rage left me and I put down the knife I was holding over my other brother. That weekend in our Church confessional I told the priest what happened and how ashamed I was. He said to me "Don't be ashamed. God is proud of you. You have seen both your capacity for evil and your capacity for love, and you chose love." I have never been afraid of God since and I no longer worry about such questions as Why when it comes to fate. Because I believe that God is greater than fate. We just have to learn to 'see beyond' and trust ourselves.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Apr 08
You bring tears to my eyes, my inspiring, dear, lovely friend. What you describe here was virtually identical to what I experienced, but mine was all in my soul, and yours was physical, and out there, and all the more terrifying for the solid 'reality' of it. You were the one that held the knife and you were the one who made the choice between good and evil. And wow, bravo for your priest for saying what he said to you. He was what they had in mind when they thought of priests, I think. And if that taught you to not be afraid of god, wow again. I wouldn't think that god would want anyone to be afraid of 'him'. God is love, yes? But, hey, lots of people are afraid of love. But I think that once a person has really loved, they won't be afraid of it anymore, because once we love, we know that even if we're hurt by it, it's still and always what we should strive for, an unending well, and it just makes us better each and every time we're blessed with it, no matter the outcome. Aargh, sometimes it's so hard to say what I want to say!!!! But you know me well enough, yay, to pretty much get the gist of what I'm trying so clumsily to impart to you. And I agree, god is greater than fate, because god is us and we control our fate through our thoughts and our actions and the dares we make within our own souls and selves. Wow, only you truly know what this discussion means to me. And so you'll know how deeply I feel it when I say thank you for being here.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Apr 08
Nova, I was telling Goodie the other day in one of her posts that I believe if we give voice to something that we end up making our own fate... that whole thing if you believe in something long enough it will happen, or becareful what you wish for you just might get it. i believe that we claim something for ourselves good or bad we in a sense can force it into being. I am real careful what I claim. The is the whole theory about writing down your goals and repeating them to yourself daily. I am careful about not laying voice to things that could go wrong. God only knows murphy is involved enough in my life. I do not need to tempt the fates further by claiming a disaster on its own.
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
17 Apr 08
Hello novataylor!:-) I have used 'what's next' many a time in my life but when I achieve a goal that I had set and I either want to move forward with the next, speedup on another existing, or redefine the whole scenario, I would say 'what's next' i.e. what is there now to work on and achieve! As far as something bad happening to me, I don't believe in bad luck as such, I only believe in good luck, if there's any. I see that there is always something good in an apparently bad occurrence, either in really positive way or in the sense that I have gained experience and a good lesson. I like to take control of my fate, even though it's not possible all the time, so I'll see what next I ought be doing , I try to foresee options and probabilities and then prepare myself accordingly i.e. to support for any positive outcome and cover any negative in hindsight. I don't think either that I have ever said that this is the worst that could happen to me, though I may have said it by specifying the case or time stamping it, like saying that this WAS the worst that has/had happened to me in that situation! But, I think I do know that what worse could be for me, at least now!
• United States
17 Apr 08
Hello, Kamran!! I see that you're seeing my questions from very "positive" eyes and that's good, in respect to your goals and other achievements. It's forward thinking and can only help bring good things to you, which I definitely wish for you. I agree with you, there is always something good that comes out of a bad situation and I too look for the "silver lining" in the clouds that life brings us. It's like how I look at love. Even if it ends in pain, you've loved and have been loved and that's the greatest gift we can have. And if you've loved once, you can definitely love again, because love is self-replenishing, it's a well that can't be emptied, and our capacity to love just grows with each time that we love. And taking control of your fate is great, preparing yourself accordingly, to support positive outcomes and cover negatives. But it's not bad luck, per se, that I'm talking about here. It's kidding ourselves, it's fooling ourselves into believing that what's happened to us is the worst that can happen, because there's always something worse that could happen, and we'd better count ourselves as lucky that the worst didn't happen. There must be a better way I can explain this. Ok, let's say that you have an engagement that you need to attend, but you don't want to go, so you make an excuse. Maybe you say that your child is sick, and that's why you can't attend. But if you do that, then 10 to 1, your child IS GOING to get sick. That's a direct result, in my opinion,of tempting the fates - it's like god is saying, shame on you, using your child as an excuse, such a precious thing to use, so I'm going to show you why you shouldn't do that. Or, maybe, you're going along in life, and bad things just keep happening, you get so frustrated, and you say, "well, shoot, what's next? What else could possibly happen to me?" Then, sure as I'm sitting here, something else happens, something even worse than what's already happened. That's tempting fate. That's what we get when we stop counting our blessings, when we take our lives for granted, when we decide that we are entitled to things. We need to strive for things, for a better life, to be sure, but we also need to be grateful for what we have. We get too big for our britches, as my father used to say. I,personally,never ask what's next. Nor do I ask what could be worse, because things can always, always be worse. I'm so happy with my life and am so blessed with so much love and everything I truly need, and I won't demand to know why I don't have more. All things in good time, yes? I don't know if I've made this any clearer for you, but I hope so, Kamran. No matter what, I so very much appreciate your coming here and giving me your take on this subject. Having you here or in any of my discussions is a gift that I won't question. Sometimes we have to take what we're given and just say thank you,nothing more. So, thank you, Kamran.
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
18 Apr 08
I am sorry for not coming earlier, my friend, as I still haven't got any notification for this comment. I was just checking my responses and there are others too for which I didn't get a notification. but anyway. Thank you for clearing your point up more and sorry for the fact that you had to explain it altogether. I see your point and I would agree with you. It's not an healthy practice to call the fate in that fashion or not to be thankful for the gifts one has in life. There are things that affect us more than others though. My worst experience from where I learned to see life in full and to be thankful was when I failed to secure top position in my 10 grade. I went blank and for weeks I wasn't normal thinking how could it happen. But, I did get to see, for the first time, that there are many more important things in life and that I should be thankful for. I could, perhaps, never be so balanced or so varied in my interest and look at life in more holistic way, if I have not had that bad experience. I do think that it was actually a good experience that opened many other avenues for me! I don't know if I am still making any sense or I am relevant here!?
• United States
18 Apr 08
Hi, Kamran. I didn't mind explaining at all, not a bit. I'm just glad that you took the time to 'listen' to what I'd said and the fact that you wanted to understand me is very gratifying. It was rather difficult to try to explain, but it's something that I really believe and worth any effort it took. And so were you, worth any effort I took. What you said about your not being the person you are today without having experiencing the pain and anguish you did in grade 10 is exactly right, I think. How could you be? It's all of the things that happen to us, the joyous and the agonizing, that shape us, that make us grow, and make us bigger and better human beings. Pain gives us understanding of the pain of others. Joy gives us the desire to see others feel joy. And all of it, loss, rejection, deaths, all of it, the wonderful and the woeful, were it not for that, what would we be? Shallow, small people, no depth, no real humanity. So, to look at life, at fate, at the higher power in the universe, and assume that you can say what is the worst or what is the greatest is foolish and arrogant and asking for a sharp smack on the bottom. We all have control of our own fate, I know, by what we do, what choices and decisions we make,but so much of it is made up by forces not of our control, by the universe, by karmic design, if you will. It's probably best summed up by saying, be careful what you ask for - you just might get it. And you made perfect sense, Kamran. I just hope I'm doing the same, but I'm not altogether sure about that, darlin. I do know, however, that I'm so pleased that you're here.