should I let my kids go? I need advice!!!

ya that is stupid. In my opinion he just wants to show your kids off to his new girlfriend and everything. But its honestly your decision. You can read what people say and everything but it still all come down to what you feel would be in the best interest of your children.

Well your oppinion is the same as mine. my moms, my boyfriend, his parents, my grandma, my sister etc... and yes its up to me but I wish sometimes he would just fall of the face of the earth...is that bad?

His words the other day when he was talking to me about it were and I quote "Its getting nice out and everyones got there kids outside and it makes me so sad. I just miss them" ok but what about all winter long??? when its winter time and you dont see everyone out playing with there kids you dont miss YOUR kids??? It didnt dawn on me when he said it but after I got off the phone it did and I was like wtf???

I had to take back my last response because no she should not let the kids go any father that doesn't pay child support and says that he doesn't even know how he is getting the money to get there then that would make me wonder how they would get fed and the emotional rollercoaster she has already endured is enough...you need to keep your children and keep that confusion away..if he can straighten up and find the money to come and visit than fine but until then they should stay with mom..

I take back what I said before, about letting them go ovethere for at least two weeks, I don't think so sweety if he wants to see them he needs to go to your house I mean even his parents have a bad opinion about him, heck no I wouldn't risk it, I think the big question is why now after all this time, and the weird part he doesn't want to go to your house with his girlfriend, right??

thats how I feel but its really hard to tell him no or not for long cause he has a cow like im doing something wrong and hes perfect.

Well then my above is one I would have to take back cause if he is not paying any child support and he doesn't even have the money to come and get them , then I would want to wonder if the kids will be fed and for sure have a place to stay, I was not aware of all that was going on and for sure I would not let them got for 2 months especially to someone who is not paying any child support it takes alot to raise a child and him just taking them and telling you that he doesn't know how to get there then I would just say sorry if you want to see them then you can start paying child support and show me that you can get my children there save and back without any questions on where the money is coming from...Sounds to me that you should follow your heart dear and AGAIN MY ABOVE IS ALL WRONG IN A SENSE. yes if he was paying some child support to help and be able to make it save to get the children there without problems i would say sure for a week only two at the most but for sure not two months...I think I would keep your kids home and if he finds the money to get there then he can spend some time right there where you know you will have food and clothes there for them...

yea I didnt explain to much in the first place I guess but I figured my replies would explain more.

But the main problem with that is he cant just bring them home. For one he told me he doesn't even know how hes going to get the money to come to Michigan from Colorado and he doesn't know how hes going to afford getting them back, the best he could give me is he will try to do it, his parents say hes just blowing smoke anyways and they dont think he will come get them. he never calls the girls but maybe once every two weeks and he lives so far away its not just one of those thing where he could drop everything and bring them back. and we definitely cant afford it since were the sole supporters of the girls (me and my boyfriend) there dad pays no child support and doesn't even send the kid anything. theres no court ordered child support yet but I have told him he should at least send them a box of stuff every once in awhile just cause..I dont know .....um...they might like something from there dad....or they well at least my oldest my youngest is 21 months so she doesn't know him from Adam but she would love to get something from her dad and he doesn't even do that the last and only box he sent was for Easter and he didn't even send Peyton the youngest anything but a stuffed rabbit. I dont want anyone thinking that I dont want the girls going to see there dad i do want them to see him but the situation with him is so shady I mean isn't it weird that not even his own family knows anything NOT ONE thing about him they know nothing about his life I dont know about you but I talk to my mom at least 2 times a week he doesn't talk t even his sister.......something fishy to me would you want or feel safe about sending your kids to a place no one knew about..plus his girlfriend just had a baby (not his) that hes supporting while not supporting his kids at all.

Well thank you very much for the best response, I was really suprised considering how many great responses you have had so far. I don't really know how Michigan law is but here in Ohio, you do not have to let your child go with the other parent if there is not court order. You are correct, he could tell the court that you are trying to keep the kids from him, but then again, how many times has he actually tried to see them or even call and talk to them for that matter? I would certainly get a journal and right down every day that he calls, sends something or visits them. Actually, if you get something in the mail, it would be best to keep the stamped and dated envelope, just for your records, you never know when it may come in handy. Also, keep track of all calls and visits, I know one lady who had caller id and every single time dad called (which wasn't much) she would actually take a picture of the caller id, showing the time and date...lol good for her, huh? Now I can see that helping in a way, but then again, the judge could say, "how do I know you just decided not to photgraph the other 20 times he called". Well those are just some ideas...but it really is best to at least keep it all in a journal so that you don't get confused with the dates and times of visits, calls, and/or mail, just in case you want to bring all that up in court someday, if he would take you there. Good luck and please let us know if you decide to let the children go with their dad. Have a great day!

There is no court ordered anything yet. I have filed our divorce but in michigan with minors involved it takes 6 months at the least. I am worried about him saying I cant afford to bring them back so come get them. my boyfriend was worried about that to so he said if I was going to do this that there dad had to have a ticket already in hand to bring them back before they could go anywhere. But I still dont like the idea and the more I hear from others the more Im really not wanting to send them. I just dont want him telling the courts that im denying him the kids. and we never talk bad about there dad in front of them, the fact that I cant stand the idiot doesn't mean I or anyone for that matter should do that. even though I know (and this is another reason I dont want them around him) I know he will talk so much crap to and around the girls about me and my boyfriend. I just dont get him....

Well, I haven't read the other's replies, but I can guess how is it. I just hope you the best, and the same for your children.

yes its very much sucks going through this crap but its better then still living with a pathological liar. and did you read the other post from other people (at least my replies) it explains a whole lot more about how he is and the things that are going on.

If I were in your situation I would tell him he can come visit the kids until they know him better or take you back into court. I bet the judge would side with you.

well my youngest is 21 months and only seen him for a month total not all at once. I do agree with not letting them go I just dont want him to be able to say I have denied him time with the kids, I just wish he would get off his high horse and think a little about the kids but hes all about himself, thats one reason our marriage didnt work.

See thats my problem and im sooo glad my boyfriends around because he makes me so much stronger. but my ex husband always had a way of intimidating me. I dont want the kids to go there and what you just told me is what my moms been telling me all day (I spent the day with her and we talked about it) I dont think hes stable and I think he wants the kids to show off to his friends and thats not what there for. I love my kids because there a part of me and there my life. I can't live without them, He can live without them till summer time when it warms up and everyone's got there kids outside and he wants people to think hes some great guy for a couple months.

As you said to some one else, He doesn't know if he will have the money to come and get them or bring them back Your are really taking a big chance. something you need to consider is that you have no recourse to getting them back if he has physical custody. The law can't help you get them back. If that happens he could get total custody through the courts. Talk to your devoice lawyer before you decide any thing.

My mom said the same thing about waiting till the court orders it, but my thing is I dont want him telling the courts that im keeping him from seeing the kids when its not even like that. I just think its would be more responsible of him to come up here with his girlfriend and let her meet the kids and let them get used to the situation a little before dragging them off to a state they have never been to with people they dont know at all. but he gets mad and says no blah blah blah when I ask if he wants to do that.

I dont know if I can talk him into that. Hes one of those where its his way or he'll try to make my life as difficult as possible even if by just causing MORE stress.

I dont have that yet from the courts but ive had the girls for almost 2 years without him there at all he hasnt supported the kids in almost two years. but as far as the courts concerned nothings done yet. I had to file for the divorce cause he was going to but never did cause he didnt have the money so after he claimed the kids on his taxes and me and didnt support any of us for the last two years his dad finally got sick of his crap and wrote me a check to file. but it just got done back in January and in Michigan you have to wait 6 months. and I have suggested he bring his girlfriend up here but he wont.

and my youngest has no clue who he even is. i mean I show pics but shes 21 months she has no clue whats going on, My oldest knows him so it wouldnt be so hard on her but the youngest is stuck to me I cant go to my moms and get her off me, shes a mommys girl.

See I dont think I could ever....no I KNOW I could NEVER go that long without talking to my kids. I couldn't imagine letting another woman come into my kids life and just letting her take over just because the kids didnt "live" with me. And basically thats what hes done hes let another man come into the girls life and completely support them and take over basically but hes allowed it. he has tried he hasn't made an effort at all and now when its getting nice out and everyone's got there kids outside he misses them and wants them there. well OMG I am not even going to get into it cause there's sooooo much I could say but ERRRRR im just getting frustrated with im being a fair weather father.

no he is not but its funny cause I can only imagine the things he tells people about me where he lives to make himself feel and sound better.

well I have asked my oldest and she does want her dad to come get her but shes 4, She thinks that things are going to be like a fairy tail. she doesnt know the things her dad doesnt do or says or anything since I dont talk bad about her dad to her or around her but my youngest theres no way she would even know whats going on shes 21 months so I cant really ask her. and even if I could she would proubly tell me no since she has seen the person at the post office more then shes ever seen her dad in her life. (we never go to the post office thats why i used that lol)

yes 2 months is a very long time and that's what freaks me out but he says he cant do it for that short of a time because he wont be able to afford it. but my boyfriend who has been the sole provider for the girls doesnt like the idea because he doesn't wan Chris to get the girls down there and then be like oh no I cant get them back so he said he wants Chris to have a ticket for them to come home on certain date before he can take them. I like that idea that way he cant play bull crap like he likes to do. But I think chris will throw a fit about that. I dont see it as unreasonable. do u?

well Its not that they dot know about her, its just that he a pathological liar and not even his family knows anything about his life hes shad and that's scary, hes telling me he doesn't know when he will be able to come get them cause of money but he says he will bring the back on a certain date but that he wont know if he can afford that either when the time comes. know the girls are going to meet his girlfriend and really it has more to do with the fact that HE himself doent have a home to take the girls that will be there home with him, there going to be going o a house of a complete stranger and its her house not his. to me its just an unstable situation and that's what scares me.