how do you deal with emotional problems?

@migenKC (792)
Philippines
April 19, 2008 2:47am CST
just this night we had a talk with my friend over the inernet about which one is more endurable, physical pain or emotional pain? when my friend were still 15 years old, she experienced extreme frustation, guilt, resentment and social rejection. in my surprise she deal with it by cutting her self using razor blade. she was doing this not once or twice but many times over and over again and not only at night on her bed but even at school. she usually cant sleep at night, experiencing insomia and takes sleeping pills to be able to calm her self and be able to rest. her parents once sent her to a pyschologist but she does not cooperate. you may asked yourself now if you will be able to bear the pain of the razor. my friend certainly told me that emotional pain is harder to tolerate and control than physical pain since all wounds heal. traumatized heart and mind isnt easy to mend back and could be a part of someone's belief and living. just like most of the serial killers, most of them had awful childhood memories which lead them to be someone different from most of us. so.. how do you deal with emotional pain? did your childhood times affect your living now, or even affect the way you deal with other people?
1 person likes this
21 responses
@alexigne (903)
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
People in emotional pain often make three primary errors: (1) they believe that stressful life events are “no big deal,” and if hard times do occur, the pain should go away quickly. (2) They engage in a ruthless attack on their worth as human beings: “I shouldn’t feel this way.” “ I must be crazy.” “There’s something wrong with me.” (3) They compare their pain with that of other people: “It could be worse. Others suffer more.” Certain natural emotional healing processes and mechanisms exist within the human psyche. For example, something about crying promotes healing, yet, many people have learned early in life that they should not cry. For them, crying is a sign of weakness or inadequacy. But, an emotional loss not resolved, like any unhealed wound, may continue to be a source of tremendous (psychological) pain for many years to come. Certain amounts of pain can be tolerated, but beyond a certain point, pain can be overwhelming for everyone. Pop psychology has suggested that it’s good to “get in touch with your feelings,” however, caution is important. The unearthing of strong feelings must be done at the proper time, in a proper context of safety and trust, and at their own pace. Emotions are our main source of aliveness and – at times of severe stress – of tremendous human suffering, It’s healthiest to allow yourself to experience your feelings within your own “zone of emotional tolerance.” Characteristics of Emotional Health: 1. Ability to feel emotions deeply 2. Ability to identify and understand inner feelings and needs 3. Self-entitlement: it’s okay to feel good about yourself 4. Self-assertion: it’s okay to express yourself 5. Self-soothing: taking care of yourself 6. Capacity for intimate relationships 7. Commitment 8. Permission to be human, ordinary Very major events have lasting effects, however, with time and emotional healing, the anguish decreases in intensity and the memory of the painful event slips into the background. At some point, people start to feel “normal” again. During times of emotional crisis people can take steps to more successfully ride out emotional storms: to have others understand and accept your feelings, to find outlets for honest self-expression, to care for basic physical and emotional needs, to express or affirm your own inner beliefs and values. Three primary approaches have been shown to be quite effective in reducing some of the symptoms associated with life stress: changing unhealthy habits, relaxation, and appropriate use of medications. think of this thing positively and everything goes well.
@migenKC (792)
• Philippines
20 Apr 08
its long but worthy to read response.. in my case, i find physical pain to be harder to control than emotional. im just a normal human who had experience the same heart breaking problems as others but everytime i am in physical pain it affects my emotions as well which makes it harder to bear. i do not show the same kind of emotion between my trusted friends and my self, maybe because i never want them to see how weak i am. most of the time i heal my own inner pain by myself trough writing which actually very effective in me. if i already know what to say to my self, why would i ask others to weep with me and hope to understand how i feel? most of my time, i spend it alone but i am not the kind of person who does not socialize with others. only my down moments are those that i do not share with for i know what "i should feel and think" the same thing as when a friend tells you.. "oh.. its alright.. everything will be better soon". if there is such as "mind over body" i believe there is also "mind over emotion"
@alexigne (903)
• Philippines
21 Apr 08
Yeah your right, physical pain is uncontrollable. Like if someone slap you, and the one who did that is someone you love. that physical pain will lose on its own but the pain that leaves in your heart time will tell only if you can manage it. But i believe that emotional pain sometimes may ruin our life as what happen to me. I admit, that i was once totally down due to the pain that it cause me. I use to say, its easy to forgive but hard to forget. Its always easy to say its over but hard to let go. Someone may end to the point that even hurting themselves as what i do. Thank God, i can definitely say that i survive and it lighten my cross that i carry because God send me his instrument to make it lighter as i go pass His challenge that i am struggling on. Hope you will be soon as you can.
• China
19 Apr 08
If I have a bad emotion, maybe I will find some friends to have a drink. I think it is a good method to adjust my emotion. During the drinking, we will talk with each other, and I will tell them the problems in my heart, usually, they will give me the advice or help me to deal with the problems. If you don't drink, I think you can find some friends to talk with them. In a word, tell the problem to somebody, don't let the problem in your heart for a long time, when you speak them out, you will be fine.
@migenKC (792)
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
you mean an outlet of everything that you have inside.. thats great!! my friend does that as well... but on my case... since i am here at australia, miles away from my home country and does not have any relatives or even friends to trust with.. i never tell what is happening in me.. i cry most of the time because of lonliness and talk by my self using pen and paper. ive got no diary.. i just junk all those words written on the paper to the trash and live each day just like a normal day. people have different syles huh.. thats great!! i dont drink so id rather write.. hihihi
• China
19 Apr 08
Oh, I feel you are so lonely. I think you can talk with your friends through E-mail or chat with them on line. That's also good methods.
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
It's bad enough having emotional problems. I tend to eat a lot when I feel depressed, as if it would help me solve things. It actually adds more pounds! But when I do have problems, I step back and be alone for a while. I think about my options. I know that I can only solve them head on but escaping problems is really too tempting. I also have to be in a quiet place. I would also cry my heart out , it helps.
@migenKC (792)
• Philippines
20 Apr 08
it is normal to eat more when you are depressed.. hihi.. atleast you do not eat less.. thats more complicated and will add problems.. you are a strong person. good that you face problems instead of leting them eat all what is left in you.. i also do the same.. so keep up and teach others as well to do the same..
@athinapie (1151)
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
they say that emotional pain is more painful than physical pain. because in physical pain, there are cures and remedies for it, but for emotional pain, there isn't. only the mind can help you with that. but it's not all the time that it would completely heal, because it would still leave a scar within you. it helps to be with family and friends when dealing with emotional problems. though they may not take the pain away, they will help you lighten up a bit.
@migenKC (792)
• Philippines
20 Apr 08
there are physical pain that can never be healed.. il give one scenario, if you are kid born with a weak body and you are being told not to play games the same as your friends, will that affect your emotions? that is an example of being in physical pain that is harder to bear that being in emotional pain only. i am an 18 year old kid who have not done things i always wish i could. i watch sports game but never tried to play. now that i am here alone, away from people i used to live... i managed to conquer the lonliness every single day i live here. but this isnt my hardest moments.. it was when i was at my homecountry laying on the bed and crying because of pain i feel... no cure but only prevention.. what do you think is more painful?
@shaoshui (10)
• China
19 Apr 08
Frankly speaking,there is a knot in my heart for a long time. I want to share a story with you: I have a brother-in-low of the same age with me,and he is very cleve.Compared with him, i was spoony. The people around me often compare me with him.I was a guly ducking in their eyes. I don`t say a word at all,and just say to myself "i will not a guly ducking forever". Today i am a postgraduate in the upc ,china.But i still don`t want to say now. who can tell you what i should do now? sos sos
@migenKC (792)
• Philippines
20 Apr 08
hi shaoshui.. i know how it feels to be compared to other people, especialy if you are the one whos down.. social rejection is somehow very disturbing and it makes our self esteem deminish. but before reaching to the point that we feel insicurity, i would suggest that you may think twice.. it might be easy to say but thats how you could only conquer the heart breaking situation. MIND over EMOTION. why would you let them defeat you? why would you make the situation control you instead of you to control the situation. every time i am being on the same situation like you, which actually i am always... i never fail my self.. it is only me who can tel how good i am, no matter what they say. if you stop believing to your self, then that would be the start people wont believe in you. make this awful situation lead you to be the best. do not let others down you, instead let their hurting words be your weapon to keep on fighting aginst anything that hinders your success. you can be a better person.. trust me.
@ozzeth (942)
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
I am an emotional person. But oh my God! I never think to try to hurt or to kill myself. That will be the greatest insane thing to do..I try a self meditation and just think other side of your personality that happiness will able to exist. Think positive and don't lose hope in life.
@migenKC (792)
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
great!! the same thing as what i do.. but we will never understand why other people deal with emotional pain unless we are on their situation or unless we examine the situation deeper than words. some of them actually will say that cutting themselve using razor is adictive.. and the pain that they feel inside is vanishing the moment they started seeing blood.
@rposta07 (240)
• United States
19 Apr 08
yes, emotional pain is much more difficult to deal with. it is so confusing. And yes, emotional issues have lead me to be the person I am today. but I think I have taken those experiences and learned from them. I think people like serial killers take their pain and bury it deep inside instead of dealing with it, and thats what makes them crazy. Someone once told me that cutting themselves was like giving themselves a high. It was addicting pain, and was better to feel than to focus on what they were feeling inside.
@migenKC (792)
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
yes.. the same thing as what my friend said.. cutting your self while on emotional pain does really make almost all of the problems vanish. but for me.. it isnt emotional pain that is more difficult to deal with but its physical... there are wounds that heal but there are some that does not which hinders you to acheive what you desire and to try what you have never tried.. my friend was as well physically weak but she did what she wanted to do instead of doing what other people says is better for her regardless the consequences that may happen. most of the time, i control my emotions over my mind, thinking what is right and what is more important lets me move on. it lets me step forward to somewhere i want to be and be free to the agony of being in pain.
@nanayangel (7860)
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
Hi there Migenkc! I think that it depends upon the degree of the pain. But with the same degree, emotional or physical, I think it would be easier to bear the physical kind. When you're physically hurt, you know where the pain is coming from. You can concentrate on treating that particular part to lessen or take away the pain. But when it's emotional, it's all over you. Inside your bones, in your blood, inside your soul. My childhood is a happy one even though I came from a broken family, I was happy thanks to the super tight family ties of my relatives.
@migenKC (792)
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
the same words as what my friend did say to me. but on my side.. i could bear more the emotional since your emotions will be affected as well when your body is in pain. since i was seven i already have this kidney trouble that makes me difficult to do things i want to do. i canr bear to be always on the hospital crying because i have nothing to do to make my self better...i had been to emotional pain as well but i usually can deal it with my own self. i do not have a lot of friends since i do not like being with people whom i know does not last for a long time. so everytime i am in pain emotionaly, i just deal it by my self.
• New Zealand
14 May 08
Hey there by smoking mainly a
• Philippines
13 May 08
weh. i, at my side, just listen to my kind of music. cry? nah. razor? lol, definitely not my style. food is an option for me. ^^, and friends, and hang-outs.
@kun2349 (23473)
• Singapore
22 Apr 08
Yup.. Emotional pain can only be cured with time.. And no pains can be as painful as emotional pain.. Emotional pain will have a scar inside us as well as outside of us.. BUt hurting oneself is definitely not the way to make oneself feel better.. It's the wrong way and will only make things worse.. For me, my way will be thru exercises and running.. Or just be alone for a few days, and sleeping.. ANd it works for me..
@Sir_bobby88 (8243)
• Singapore
21 Apr 08
well normallly i would laugh my way through if i am sad yea.
@muscare (3069)
• Australia
21 Apr 08
Physical pain is always going to be easier to deal with, and I think it is also easier for other people to deal with someone with a physical problem. My wife has suffered from a mental illness for over 12 years, and we have both seen people who don't believe she is sick because she has no physical signs. As she said, if she had a broken leg, she'd have a cast on and others could tell she had something wrong. Even though there is greater awareness of mental illness nowadays, there is still a stigma attached, which makes it so much harder for the sufferer.
@palina77 (1178)
• United States
20 Apr 08
well a bullys victum all through school iv had some emotionable problems i take several meds right now that help me when i get angry or axcius things like that im also depresed and that dont help anything................. so tell your friend that she is not going through this alone that always helped me when people told me that
@gkthegr8 (164)
• India
20 Apr 08
Self hypnosis is the best way to get rid of physical + emotional pain. Its easy to do that..
@ayou82 (3460)
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
I always watch funny movies thats what i do to stop thinking about the problem or whatever things that upsets me.. I dont want to just sit and cry coz it happened already.. I always waNt to laugh it out and relax.
@MGjhaud (21115)
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
If my problem has got to do with my emotional feelings, it would surely be my down moment. I had experiences before regarding this and it really was hard to get through it. There was one time I cried and cried everyday. When I go to school, suddenly there were tears on my cheek. I had nobody to lean to, to talk to, as in nobody. I was still young then but I was in college already. One night, I can't held on it anymore. I wanted to scream, to cry out loud but I can't. I went out of apartment and stayed outside. I was standing at the gate, walking back and forth. You know why I did that? Because if I stayed in my room, I might do somthing bad on myself. That was actually the lowest point I had in my life, as far as I can remember. When you're emotionally down, you just have to let it out. Cry if you want to. If you don't want to talk or share it to others, then don't. It's bad when it's too much inside you and you can't seem to breathe. Let it all out.
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
well good thing i never had a bad memory during my childhood days, though i always get rejection. but it's really depends on the person's family, how her/her parents guide her/him in his/her growth...
• Philippines
19 Apr 08
nah...emotional pain is really hard to ease...especially when it really hurts deep inside your heart and mind... i'll just hope that individuals who find emotional pain may just pray to the LORD and everything may be alright... TRUST GOD...confess and pray that the pain may take away thus its a burden in living healthy and happy life.... @jam@ ~k33p saf3~
@gloamglozer (1285)
• Australia
19 Apr 08
emotional pain is way more worse than physical pain... i suck at dealing with it... i think imma emo but i dont cut myself... i just beat myself up. :( yes definitely... childhood and environment i was brought up in influenced this a lot. come to think about it... nothing has changed. it still sucks