BRATS! The right to discipline
@jewelenterprises (1996)
Australia
April 21, 2008 3:53am CST
Modern parents are at the mercy of their children. In western society at least we are not permitted to discipline our children by smacking them anymore for fear of being reported to child welfare. We are told we must reason with them instead, or give them 'time out' (one minute for each year of their age). Children have so many rights these days that they can DIVORCE their parents simply because their parents tell them they can't have something. And the government supports the child. Here in Australia, if a child commits a crime, the parents are the ones held responsible and are liable for any damages.
When I picked my daughter up from school today I saw a friend with her daughter. Her daughter gave her a mouthful of cheek. My friend threatened to 'clip her across the ear' to which her daughter replied, "You do, and I'll call the police!" This girl is one that I would call a 'megab*tch'. I guarantee that by the time she is sixteen she will be arrested for illegal activities.
My ex brother-in-law never smacked his daughter. While she was good as a young child. When she hit puberty she became uncontrollable! Wouldn't listen to her father, ran off with her boyfriend and had a baby by the time she was eighteen.
I remember one time with my oldest daughter, I told her she couldn't do something when she was nine. She became angry and hit me and I hauled off and slapped her so hard across the face that it left a hand shaped welt. I ran to my bedroom crying, I knew I had done the wrong thing and felt bad about it. I knew I had just done to my child what my father did to me... be abusive! I later apologised to her and admitted that it was wrong and she forgave me... the thing is, she NEVER did the same thing again! We managed to both learn from the experience.
The problem is, these days the children have more rights than the parents do and they know it and take full advantage of it!
A friend of mine had a 13 year old son who demanded that his parents spend $20,000 getting an extra bedroom on the house so he didn't have to share a bedroom with his brother. When they refused (simply because they couldn't afford to). The boy left home and went to the police, claiming they were abusing him by not allowing him to have his own room. The police arranged temporary accomodation for him... and the government.. well, they paid for him to enter fostercare and gave him a fortnightly payment for expenses... which he spent on games consoles and games etc. This kind of situation is totally ridiculous.
So here we are at a pretty pass. Not permitted to discipline our children yet held responsible for their behaviour.
What is your opinion on this issue? Are we raising a generation of brats? Should the government interfere with our right to discipline our children? Should the chidren have more rights than the parents?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@kezabelle (2974)
•
21 Apr 08
Im in the UK and while it is illegal to slap a child so hard you leave a mark as a parent you can tap your childs hand enough to shock them if you so wish to do so.
Personally I do feel there are betters ways to discapline a child than to smack them, if my daughter is naughty she gets a toy taken away for 24 hours generally she is really good, her sister only 2 gets time out on the stairs now and this really does work.
The best form of discapline is to be consistent choose your method of punishment and stick to it dont ever think one day i cant be bothered a punishment doesnt have to be a smack to work the child simply has to know their will be consequences to their actions and as a parent you should follow it through.
In a way I feel holding the parent responsible is good maybe it could shock the child but also sometimes no matter how hard you try a person turns out "bad" so they should at least check first if the parent has tried to stop the behaviour if they havent then yes they are as much to blame.
@LadyPS (160)
• Singapore
21 Apr 08
Hello jewel,lucky for me I am not living in a western society.I do at times smack my child if the situation call for.I try my best not to raise a brat.I don't think government should interfere our right to discipline our children unless the situation call for.Children are to young to know right from wrong so it is us as parents to teach and discipline them while they are still young.
@jewelenterprises (1996)
• Australia
21 Apr 08
Lucky you, not having to live by such unreasonable rules.
It's fine that suspected child abuse should be investigated and acted upon. But to label smacking as child abuse is outrageous.
Don't misunderstand me, I have hardly smacked any of my three children. But there are times when I feel it is called for. For instance, a child that tries to put a knife in a power point repeatedly even after you have explained the danger and removed them from the vicinity... I'd sooner cause them a few seconds pain by smacking them for it than have them get electrocuted and killed.
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
21 Apr 08
I think that the government can tend to get TOO involved BUT at the same time I can see why they feel a need to and really in many cases there IS a need to....If I'd called the cops when I was a kid being abused they'd have never listened to me, they would have sided with my mother/parents and so on..So I think its GOOD that the kids have the option now HOWEVER I think that it needs to be fine tuned since so many kids will play that card...
MY KIDS however know better..cause they know that if they EVER threatened me I'd beat them bloody 
..My kids would never dare to do anything like that though, nevermind actually calling the cops but they'd never dream of threatening to....BUT we have a solid relationship and they KNOW and have ALWAYS known I wont tolerate any bull from them...If they are out of line I'M DISCIPLINING THEM end of story! My kids wouldnt do it for a couple of reasons...I'd knock the crap out of them for threatening me, then I'd hand them the phone and tell them "go ahead! you want to live in foster care?! here let me dial that for you!" I dont intimidate easily AT ALL
I honestly think that too many parents are too quick to back down...IMO DON'T BACK DOWN!..If you throw in the towel right away that first time you here "I'll call the cops" from your kid, the kids KNOW they now have an offical Ace up their sleeve...
As for the children having more rights? I dont think they do...I think the problem many have is the fact that CHILDREN HAVE RIGHTS PERIOD...we didnt growing up so its a new way of thinking for us but the cold hard reality is children DO have rights...but I dont think for one minute that they have MORE rights then we do....
sorry if this is scatterbrained LOL I've not had my coffee yet 
..My kids would never dare to do anything like that though, nevermind actually calling the cops but they'd never dream of threatening to....BUT we have a solid relationship and they KNOW and have ALWAYS known I wont tolerate any bull from them...If they are out of line I'M DISCIPLINING THEM end of story! My kids wouldnt do it for a couple of reasons...I'd knock the crap out of them for threatening me, then I'd hand them the phone and tell them "go ahead! you want to live in foster care?! here let me dial that for you!" I dont intimidate easily AT ALL
I honestly think that too many parents are too quick to back down...IMO DON'T BACK DOWN!..If you throw in the towel right away that first time you here "I'll call the cops" from your kid, the kids KNOW they now have an offical Ace up their sleeve...
As for the children having more rights? I dont think they do...I think the problem many have is the fact that CHILDREN HAVE RIGHTS PERIOD...we didnt growing up so its a new way of thinking for us but the cold hard reality is children DO have rights...but I dont think for one minute that they have MORE rights then we do....
sorry if this is scatterbrained LOL I've not had my coffee yet @jewelenterprises (1996)
• Australia
21 Apr 08
Yes, I believe the same. While it is good that abused children can now report their parents (unlike when I was a child), it's wrong when good parents can get in trouble for trying to discipline their child.
I mean, as a child there were several times I went to school with welts and cuts across my back, buttocks and upper legs where dad had belted into us with a plum tree cane (knots included). There were also several times when he refused to feed us for days on end... but would still send us to school with lunch so the teachers didn't realise that the only food we received was an apple and a sandwich for the whole day. In those days I couldn't have reported him... besides which, I would have been too afraid to because I knew I'd have the skin flayed off my back if I did!
If teachers then had the power they now have to report suspected abuse to the authorities I may not have had to go through all that. So in one sense it's a good thing.
But as with a lot of things, they take it too far! Getting a smack (within reason)doesn't cause any lasting emotional trauma. Indeed, in most cases it's forgotten within five minutes. My daughter doesn't even remember the day I slapped her face 9 years ago (she's 18 now).
I do have problems with my youngest daughter. I think they are caused by the fact that my partner has a very different idea of discipline to what I do. My older two turned out great. But my youngest simply won't listen to me. And I think the reason is that my partner questions my discipline in front of my youngest. Pulls me down, tells me I'm too hard, tells me I'm a grumpy old b*tch etc... right in front of Tiara. Consequently, that is precisely what Tiara thinks of me and just won't listen. At least with my ex husband I knew that even if I was wrong he would still support me, at least in front of the children, though he might have words with me in private later regarding the issue (which rarely happened).
You're probably right though, it just seems that kids have more rights than I do. After all, I can't divorce them, but they can divorce me. It's a new idea. But I don't necessarily agree that all the ideas are good ones.
