What if you were not able to get pregnant?

I would love to go the surrogate route because the baby would probably have at least one of our genes. But then I think about all the unwanted children in the world and how many are in foster care and group homes and all of that. I would also consider adopting to help a child have a good start that they wouldn't normally have. I would be a hard decision about which one to do. Maybe both!

My sister always said if I couldnt have children and she could she would have a baby for me, she doesnt want children and knew how much I did I thought that was an amazing offer. If that wasnt possible I would adopt I think to me it doesnt matter how the child comes to you but how you live your life with them thats the important part. I was able to have two healthy little girls though so was never something I needed to look too far into

I think surrogate mothers are wonderful women who like to help those less fortunate - however, there is always the risk they will get attached or something like that so i'd probably be more inclined to go with adoption, then i could give an unwanted child a loving home & family. There are loads of kids out there just waiting for the right family & they deserve to be happy, just like everybody else. I'm sure your own child would better BUT i think if i had to choose then helping a child that already needed it instead of creating another one would be the way i'd go. I also think that since pregnancy is so demanding on the woman's body, it's not really fair to ask someone to go through all of that for you. As lovely as the surrogate mother are, it's just such a hard process. If i did go with a surrogate mother though (just if) i'd have to use an agency, they know the reliable people, they screen well & everything would be so much less complicated that way! So i like both options ^_^ but probably adoption more!

I would definitely opt for adoption, although I support surrogacy for those who choose it. I would love to be able to give a parentless child of any age a loving family and home, and with so many "unwanted" children in the world, I wouldn't feel right not to take at least one for my own. I know a lot of people want newborns, and often those of the same race, so they look like their own, but none of that matters to me. =) That said, I'm not planning for children any time soon. Have a great day! Mal.

Hi Philly girl, I have never had to think that way at all, all this time. When you put that query, it just kindled my brain, would I opt for an adoption or for a surrogate mother. That made me think for a longtime and the answer I came out was with adoption. There are lots of kids without parents in the orphanages. I would have adopted one or two as my kids and looked after them and made them very happy to have been born in this world. For no fault of theirs, these kids are suffering poverty and drudgery. I would like to adopt them, if I can. If you had asked me this two months back maybe I would have answered surrogate mother just like some of them here. After a visit to the orphange last month my views have changed drastically. I want to help them as much as I can. I would request all of you here to take a decision like me , atleast to help out these kids to get a good life even if you cannot adopt them. All the best

Blood is not everything. I don't agree with you. I think adopting a baby is better.

wow that is a big question. i am not sure what i would do. i know i was going to do this for my brother many years ago before i ever had children. and now that i do have children, i don't know if i could. i know the child would have been my brother's and his wife, but giving up a baby that was inside of me, man that is hard

That's hard to answer for sure because I most definitely have never had trouble getting pregnant! I'm not close to many females so choosing a close friend or relative as a surrogate would have been nearly impossible. I probably would have gone the route of adoption. If I did have a close female willing to carry my baby then I would have done that. I'm not sure I would have chosen a 'stranger', there are way too many variables in that. If I did I would want it to be completely biologically my baby. At least that way if the baby ended up with some genetic problem I'd know it was our fault and not because the surrogate lied or was poorly screened. If someone close to me asked me to carry their baby, I would do it but only if it was going to be their biological baby or if they used another egg donor. I'm sure the women who donate eggs and the ones who are surrogates using their eggs are making many couples very happy but it's just not something I could do.

Interesting question. One that requires a great deal of thought in order to answer as honestly as possible. I have two children, so this is even more difficult for me to answer, knowing that I can and have gotten pregnant. I have offered to be the surrogate mother for a friend of mine, whose cervix isn't able to hold a child in the womb to term. Should she get pregnant again, she will have to be under consistent doctor supervision, have her cervix sewn shut the moment she discovers that she is indeed pregnant, and be on bed rest for the entire 9 months. Understandably, she doesn't look forward to going through all that, nor does she think that she could handle a pregnancy as difficult as the one that miraculously ended in the premature birth of her daughter, alive. Still, if I wanted (more) children and found that I couldn't have them myself, I would consider a surrogate. She would have to be someone I knew and trusted; someone who was doing it for all the right reasons. I would want her to be a friend or relative, with whom I could rest assured that she would continue being in our lives and family. I would relish having the opportunity to bond with the child in the womb, even if it's not my own womb. And, I would greatly prefer to be there when my child is born. Having said all that, however, I have always wanted to adopt at least one child before I die. To give a child who feels unwanted and has become a ward of the state a loving family and home would be the greatest gift I could think of giving to anyone. And, it kills me that so many children have to live their lives jumping around from foster home to foster home, sometimes ending up with unloving, or even down right cruel foster "parents". So, it's a bit of a toss up. In my current situation, being that I already have two children that I carried and bore, I would most likely adopt. Were I to have discovered that I couldn't have children prior to having my own, I would probably end up doing a mixture of the two; wanting a surrogate for at least the first child, and then considering adoption for later children.

If I am unable to get pregnant, then I will try to adopt a baby. I will treat him/her as my own baby. It seems it's the best choice for me. I love China

If i would have in this situation i would have gone for adoption.

me and wife is married for 5 years we have a two year old son, but before we got married we live together for four years so that would be nine years in all. she got a lot os miscarriages that makes her really sad. i was sad too but i am the one who istelling her that its all alright. we tried and tried. i dont want to get any surrogate mother. its okay for me if i dont have a child... but now that we have one it is more than okay

am in complete aggreance with you. if i couldnt have a baby and decided to go the surrogate mother route, id only choose my sister, or someone similar i trust! or adoption :D

well.you have no chioce but go see the doctor...

I dunno what I would do. I am not close to my sister.. she's 15 anyway, and so very badly immature and selfish that if she was of age I doubt she would do it. I have a cousin that I am semi-close to so I might ask her to be a surrogate but it would be very hard. I have always felt weird about surrogates. I know it's a wonderful thing, but I think in my mind I'd be like it's not my baby it's hers, it came out of her!!! Ridiculous, I know. Basically I don't know what I would do!!!

May be I would consider it. If one don't have a sister, then the need to look for a healthy surrogate mother could be complicated. I think adopting a child is more convenient. There are so many orphans who need a warm home they can call their own. In fact one can also consider to help other by adopting family with many children.

I guess it is hard to know what I would do I have two kids of my own so I won't have to think about that. What I think right now is I would probaly have adopted as there area lot of kids out there in ned of parents but like I said I don't know for sure as I can and do have kids of my own.

I think if I really wanted a child. I would just ask one of my sisters to carry it for me. However, I think asking a complete stranger and going through a company may be easier. You would never see that person again. Your sister would know and be there all the time so it might be hard. For me anyways. But of course you trust your sister more and the child would be "in the family". Its a tough decision to make. I would be devasted if I couldnt have more children and would have to take that route.