When you say no to your child do you follow it?

@trusko (198)
April 23, 2008 10:19am CST
I see a lot of parents (including some of my family members) saying to their child if you do this again, you can't.... and they just keep saying that, but don't really follow it. Do you find it hard too? My aunt has 17 year old daughter. She is failing at college from several subjects. Yet she is allowed to go out with friends and stay out and she is on pc all the time. My aunt is worried, that if she says you can't go out, she wouldn't come home. My aunt is very distressed about my cousin's results in school. Obviously she wants the best for her. But my cousin doesn't seem to care. I think it's too late for her now. My aunt made a mistake of always just make threats. For example, if you don't clean your room, you can't watch TV etc. I only have 8 months old daughter and Im dreading how my parenting skills will turn out. I have an idea how I want to do it, but ... I do believe you need to stick to your guns. What is your experience? What do you think? ;-)
1 person likes this
4 responses
• United States
24 Apr 08
You definiately have to follow through with what you say! And you have to have a plan of what consequeses will be BEFORE they get in trouble, so you are ready. This is something I have struggled with but I'm getting better because of a book I've read: Setting Limits by Robert J. macKenzie I've only read half of my book, but it's helped me so much. This summer it's the only book I'm going to read. I can't wait because I know I will be so much better with my kids by the end of the summer.
@trusko (198)
24 Apr 08
Hmm never heard of that book. Will check it out at some stage ;-)
@kezabelle (2980)
23 Apr 08
You have to be consistent you choose a punishment and stick to it for everything and if you tell them no keep to it, it only takes you once giving in and they will eep on trying to make you give in. If they know there will be consequences to their actions they will be better behaved obviously they all at some point have "bad" days but if you always give in and give your child no consequences then they will do what ever they like because they know there will be no repercussions
@trusko (198)
24 Apr 08
I think that too. Thanks for your response ;-)
• United States
23 Apr 08
I would say at least 95% of the time, I follow through. There is a small percentage that I may not, for whatever reason. I think you have to follow through, or it is just confusing to the child. They learn that you dont really mean what you say. My husband is terrible at this, but mostly because he makes ridiculous statements. Such as if you do that again, you will never eat dinner again. Come on that is absurd, and that is what I tell him. You have to make the punishment, make sense and most importantly it has to be able to be enforced.
@trusko (198)
24 Apr 08
I totally agree. I have cousin and she is married. They dont always agree and it's not good for the children.
@ssh123 (31089)
• India
23 Apr 08
Feelings overtake the disciplinary actions for many parents. I tell my wife to follow some rules with regard to bringing up my son, but then she melts when he talks so nicely and gets what he wants without fulfilling what has been agreed. The carrot and stick policy is always better and after all most parents wants to do good for the child and its future.
@trusko (198)
24 Apr 08
Thank you for your response ;-)