The Most Superficial Game in the Universe

Tweet

Ladies and gentlemen, Square Eunuchs presents "The World Ends With You", an NDS game that was originally going to be titled "Ghetto Freaks". The game does have its good points concerning gameplay, the battle system is nice albeit apparently not entirely thought through. The Pin system seems good and fighting on two screens with both button and touch-screen controls is a nice little novelty. But the majority of the game (or rather slide show of still images with non-animated sprites) concerns listening to people talk, who have nothing else to say other than superficial concerns about their clothing or lousy pop/techno bands or how they can make a fashion statement through their eating habits. The main character, Necco Wafer, makes Squall Leonhart look like Snuggles the Bear, but his partner whose name I can't remember after ten hours of gameplay is so much more annoying in her polar opposite personality that I'd almost wished things turned out differently at the end of Day 3/start of Day 4 (spoilers, oops). As for the whole ghetto trash thing, the characters dress like the broad stereotypes of any given cell phone ad or crappy music video and the fact they seem to have no shame merely pits the characters as being socially irresponsible. So that's the whole set up, here's what the actual discussion is about: When did Square finally catch up with crappy American pop culture? I swear, I'm only three dialogues away from people starting to ask "WHER U AT?" and this game makes a great argument against dying/gelling your hair or getting piercings/tattoos. Playing the bland and generic Pokemon Mystery Dungeon is more heartfelt and less unintentionally-hilarious than this game. I swear, the only normal character in this game who isn't trying to be "down wit da streets, dawg" was a guy who wore a suit and tie and kept talking to himself in nonsequential fragments like he was suffering some kind of heat stroke.