Do you always say what you think? Do people around you like that?

I am not like that no, I do not always say what I think. But if I do I tend to try and put it in a nice way because through experience a lot of people do not like to be told abruptly it instantly rubs them up the wrong way. When people are straight up they can come across as having an attitude problem and so that is what your friend is seeing happen, through the way she is she is giving out the wrong signals. I reckon that if she said things in a different way then she would be ok. She should not have to change the person that she is, just learn to be a little more diplomatic in how she comes across with things!! I am not assertive enough either and I too have been walked all over, which is not a nice feeling!!

I often voice my opinion and say what I think. There is nothing to be gained by pretending to agree or not care if you don't agree or do care, you only miss your opportunity to share your side, whether it is affirmation and support or a different view entirely. For the most part, being assertive, up front, and saying what I feel and think DOES help me get what I want out of life. It enables me to be viewed as somebody who has clear likes and dislikes, tries to respect yet doesn't always agree, and obviously does not tolerate nor bend to people who bully or refuse to do what they are expected to do. Sometimes havoc is caused, yes but sometimes that is what needs to happen. I do not frame things in purposely mean ways. My intent is not to be hurtful in order to be truthful, but I will not sugarcoat things either. An example, if a friend tries on something and it is too small, the wrong color, or a bad cut/fit and it does not make them look good, I'll tell them they might want to try something else. If they press, I will probably say it doesn't make them look good. If they don't press, I'll leave it at 'try something else'. I won't suddenly go off and ramble on about how they look terrible or fat etc etc like some people would in their runaway attempt to be blunt. There is a difference between being honest about how you feel and being blunt and mean in your response. I would probably tell your friend to consider how her response sounds, and to try to word it in a non-confronting, non-judgemental way. People do appreciate honesty, but they do not appreciate digs or negative criticism.

You're right... it's all in the way you say things. I'll always say as I see. In other words, whether I agree or not with something somebody has done or said, I won't hold back on telling them. But, I say so in a gentle, non-derogatory way, which I think makes all the difference. We all make mistakes after all, and I think constructive, and persuasive criticism, even an offer of help, can go a long way. Brightest Blessings.

Personally I like people who are straight up but most people aren't and a lot of people have problems with people who are. I try to be that way but I do worry about other peoples feelings. I've been taken advantage of in the past because of it probably. I think if everyone were straight up, the world would be a better place. My son is that way and some like it, some don't. It's always a good thing to think about who your real friends are. If you can be yourself then you know your friends are your real friends. The thing is, as you say word it nicer so people know it's honest and not an insult. Then if they have a problem with it, oh well life goes on.

hi kiran, ive always believed in telling the truth to other people, when its something good or bad i feel that it should be said because 'honesty is the best policy' right?. and it is true. i dont like walking on eggshells towards other people. i feel like, if i dont tell them how i feel now, i would lead them on in what i think. and how would they learn and grow as a person if they wouldnt accept my positive or negative comments on what they say. so yea, i feel for your friend. there is absolutely nothing wrong with vocalizing with what your thinking to other people in a nice respectful tone of course. my sister has a friend like your friend. shes always vocal about what she feels and thinks. but sometimes how she says it is a problem because she says it so strongly that it sometimes people would interpret it wrongly. im not really close with this person though because we dont hang out often. but with my sister and her circle of friends, they dont say anything about it because they already know its her personaility. but even though its her personality i do agree with you when you say "she could word it out a bit nicer" because the words are half of conveying your message. the 'tone' of a person's voice has to also be considered. if its a good wording and a bad tone then people will clearly missinterpret it. it would also help if the words used would be a little bit nicer as well. even though its a bad comment in a nice tone, i feel it wouldnt sound really bad. right?

Sometimes when I am angry I don't think before saying but casually I don't say anything that hurts anyone. People who are blunt are honest but they have to face problems because they can cause bad feeling into others. I think everybody should be calculative with what they are saying because people don't want to get insulted.

no , i rarely say what i think and I think many of my problems throughout my life have resulted from this. I do need to be more upfront and lol in my personal life i seem blunt blessed be

I am one that usually always say what I think but in some situations you have to be polite and only say what is needed.The workplace is the hardest place cause of all the different personalities and the situations and is really hard sometimes I think you have to sit back and just let things go and try to think things through and come to a better way of handling it, but for the most part I am a very open person and don't believe in beating around the bush as the old saying says and just say what I feel and think, that is who I am.Yes it does cause some havoc but you also have to stand tall and be who are you,in this messed up world you have to be who you are or you will get walked on and kicked down and to protect yourself one has to do what they have to do.

yeah most of the time, but i know my limits though, if i find that what im gonna say maybe offensive, then i dont say it. but sometimes you have to offend other people to get your point across, if they are too persistent. maybe she is not only blunt, but she is tactless as well. that's why the people around her dont like her. my frankness never caused me any serious trouble, although what caused me trouble though was when what i said in confidentiality was told to another person, and of course, that other person got angry.

Hi Kiran-I can understand that some people think your friend has an attitude problem when really it is their problem for not liking to hear the truth-I am a bit of both I always say what I mean and think but like you it sometimes gets me in problems as I find that I,m too soft then that's when people walk over me but if I tell someone in a more 'straight up' way they say I have attitude-ther's no winning with some people-blessings littleowl

Nobody, per se, like taking things straight on the face.It all depends on the situation we are in. To whom we are saying things to.There is diplomacy also. Me too not being assertive naturally do not do straight talk.

i do not always say what i think or feel because it is not always appropriate and can be more trouble than it is worth. i bite my tongue alot. if it is something i just cannot keep my mouth shut about i will speak up but i watch what i say and how i say it. i do not appreciate people who always say what is on their mind and be damned the consequences. i think the way you say things goes a long way. i do not let people walk all over me in any way but i do weigh the outcome and pick my battles and feel that sometimes saying nothing is the best thing to do and just walk away. i have 2 friends who are very opinionated and they also try to sway others opinions and i think you need to repect that everyone is entitled to their own opinion about things. when they get on their high horse i just let them spout and then i change the subject and do not even bother disagreeing with them because to be honest it is not important to me that they hear my opinion and i have no interest in arguing with anyone over anything. i have enough angst in my life as it is. i do not feel sorry for your friend, though and i do not mean to sound harsh but perhaps she needs to learn a lesson from this and back down a bit and relearn how she speaks to people.

I do always say whats in my mind but before i speak it out i should think it and try to analyze the situation. In a nicer way..smooth way. I guess your friend approached in a wrong way. So people misunderstood her. For her its nothing but the people accepted it as terrible. And one thing, she should also learn to adjust of the environment she's dealing with and give some considerations in little things. You know not all people that we can please of who we are.

Always speaking your truth is a very wondeful thing knowing when to keep your mouth shut is too.

I agree with your views, that you need to be cautious on some occasions, while wording your lauangage. You need to be diplomatic, while rendering a advice to someone, or while disagreeing with someone. Actually, no one likes blunt comments. Sometimes, sugar coating is required to put forth your view so as not to hurt sentiments of the opposite party. I try to be careful in my words, even if I have to disagree with someone. If I have to point out someone's glaring mistake, I try not to be harsh with words. But sometimes, I also speak my heart out in good faith to other party, but if he/she does not take it in right spirit, I find myself in trouble. Good Post! Have a good day! Deepak

i wish i have guts to say what i think

sometimes i am straight to the point but i only did this if i know the attitude of a person that if i tell immediately she/he won't hurt. Most of the time i will kept it on my mind and on myself to eliminate misunderstanding and dispute.

I am not that straight forward as you do. I always evaluate the effect before letting the words go out of my mouth. However sometimes I make mistakes too, especially when I am angry. Some of my friends talked to me about this problem too. I don't know what to say, because strictly speaking, it's really not a problem. But sometimes their words can be mean. Even though I know they don't intend to make me feel hurt, these words can be indeed harsh.

I use to always say what I thought out loud and it created a lot of havoc. I have learned to scale back a little bit and to see that there is a time and a place for everything. I have learned to hold in when it would be inappropriate to say something. I still say what I think but not always at that exact moment. It cuts down on the havoc quite a bit.

sometimes i say what i think but not always as i dont want to hurt someone but sometimes it happens that even if someone would not like it i say it as i cant stop myself from telling the truth. but i know that not everytime people appreciate my words and it is quite obvious as everyone point of view cannot be the same.