I waited 7 years to hear this...
By foxyfire33
@foxyfire33 (10005)
United States
April 27, 2008 11:43am CST
Some of you may remember that I have an almost 18 tear old stepson. His dad and I have been together for 7 years now. The relationship between my stepson and I has been rocky although much better and closer for the last 2 years.
Last night we were having yet another long talk about some things...mainly his dad's behavior lately which could be a whole discussion or two of it's own...and that's when he said what I had only hoped to hear some day....
"You're a good parent to me."
He used to hate me...I know that's a strong word, but it really used to be that bad. I was satisfied being a friend/cool adult once things got better. But yeah, I really did want the recognition of being his parent...and according to him, not just 'a parent' but a good parent and more so and better than his dad is to him.
It was a really good night. I am proud and happy despite what's going on that I may write about later but not yet. Hearing him say that was about as good as one of my biological children saying "mom" for the first time...yeah, it was that good.
8 people like this
24 responses
@BYOLA2871 (4371)
• South Africa
1 May 08
thats a great statement from a young man and am really happy for you,it takes great respect for him to have come out to say that to you moreso as you are not his biological mother,try to keep it up.
@grecychunny26 (9482)
• Philippines
30 Apr 08
The would be the most precious words you ever hear from a person not related to you. Compare to your situation i think you are happy because your dream finally came true. I am happy for you to because your step son now really loves you and treat you as his own mother. I hope your problems with your husband will solved the soonest.
@kbkbooks (7022)
• Canada
28 Apr 08
You sound just like me. We have been together six years and my husband has a 19 year old son who lives with us, and a 26 year old daughter who lives in the next province. The son has always been a difficult child and even lived in a foster home for several years when his mom couldn't handle him, after she left his dad (my husband). The boy always had behavioral and anger problems and in fact he still does. Over the few years that he has lived with us, he and I have developed the ability to talk and work things out. He still has a lot of problems and we don't always get along, but he has shown me a lot more respect in the last year than before. Good luck to you on your continuing relationship.
@wickedangel (1636)
• Dominican Republic
28 Apr 08
Oh foxyfire, I am so happy for you. It must be hard taking on someone else's kid and trying to get through to them that you love them just as much as your own 'biological' children. How wonderful that you are finally getting on. It does take time for children to go through all their own emotions. I know you are going through a hard time right now so this is a definite PLUS for you. Remember it and treasure it. And let's hope that the other problems in your household will resolve themselves peacefully and quickly.
Thanks for sharing this with us. BIG HUGZ
@KKKBsmom (1092)
• United States
28 Apr 08
WOW... doesn't that make you feel totally awesome!!! Makes youreally stop and think what you have helped raise...
You should feel really proud!
@sweetgirl_k1 (3972)
• United States
28 Apr 08
I bet that did make you happy. I know it has to be hard being a stepparent sometimes. I don't get along that great with my dad's wife either but I'm trying to make things better between us. So I'm sure it made you happy to hear that from him.
@Jemina (5770)
•
28 Apr 08
Finally, your patience and kindness paid off. Every good tree bears good fruit.
I know that feeling of satisfaction when you hear something like that said to you. I feel like walking on the clouds and my feet are not touching the ground. They a hundred times so much better than a trophy or medallion. 
@Moosebreath (119)
• United States
28 Apr 08
I hear ya! I was in the exact same life position. He hated me and wasn't afraid to tell me so. I kept trying to be a good parent, and I never let up being there for the boy. He turned around also, and said thanks for being there. But he did it when he was getting a little older, and seeing that there was love for him. I just want all who live with a step child, not to give up. Keep being there and loving the child. They will see you are there for them and that you love them like their own. Once you get that "thank you" it will be one of the greatest feelings a parent can have!
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
28 Apr 08
Wow, that is really good, I have yet hear that from any of my kids that are over 5..
So you must be a great parent foxyfire, maybe I should ask you some child rearing questions..
So you must be a great parent foxyfire, maybe I should ask you some child rearing questions..
@emmyemoney (251)
• Nigeria
28 Apr 08
Good to here that, and always try to make him happy. So that both of you will have sense of belonging to one and happy family.
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
28 Apr 08
That is great, I am really so very happy for you.. Families, especially extended families can be so complicated and they really don't have to be.. I hope things begin to go well with you and your husband also.. I have been married to the same man for 40 yrs and it is not always easy.. Good luck to you and I hope things keep getting better for you in this relationship.. Being a "good Parent" is quite an accomplishment..
@whittby (3072)
• United States
28 Apr 08
That would have been a very nice thing for me to hear as well. My stepkids lived with us a year here and a year there - usually when they were mad at their mother and she couldn't handle them. They never accepted me, merely tolerated me - I was the main disciplinarian, their Dad wanted to be a friend and I ended up being the bad guy. The kids are all grown up now and we'll never be real close, but we are friendly. Sometimes you can't replace a mom and then like you, sometimes you can indeed become a "Mom".
@terri0824 (5203)
• United States
28 Apr 08
I know that had to be a very good conversation for you and that you had to feel proud that he finally spoke highly of you.
We plant seeds along the way and hope and pray that they will come to blossom in due time. You have seen your seeds blossom last night, now continue to water and it will continue to bloom!
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 08
I am so glad for you foxy as that must have felt really good and it will help smooth things along for both of you.a good parent that is really showing real appreciation and love so you must have been doing something right foxy so be proud of yourself. really great thanks for sharing that.
@Remembering1996 (2219)
• United States
27 Apr 08
I hear fully what you are saying for my 9 yr.old son is the same way w/ his step mother. He tells her he hates her, phsically hurts her. I have talked to my son about why he is like this he just said " because I do I want her gone " She has gone through almost 3 yrs. of hell w/ my son and The last time I had a talk w/ her she said things are getting better he has calmed down on alot of that hateing stuff w/ her. She said he has his days but it's not an everyday occurance like in the beginning. I was scared for the both of them for a while but now that things have settled a little i'm more at ease. Keep your head up things will make a turn for the better.
