Having a baby for better relationship?

Philippines
April 27, 2008 7:47pm CST
For your opinion, is having a baby gives strong bond, love, and respect to each other for a couple/relationship?
13 responses
• United States
28 Apr 08
Having a baby to better or fix a realationship will not work. Because if the realationship is already on eggshells and the parents are first parents to be then they are in for a big surprise it just wont help. It will only make things worse. I hope your not debating on having a baby to make your realationship better dear.
@ayessa (1584)
• Philippines
28 Apr 08
I agree with you on your point. Baby will not be a cure to any relationship that's already on the rocks. If a partner will just use the baby to help them make the relationship better they will just making the baby suffer in the near future.
@mykaylala (214)
• United States
29 Apr 08
One thing for sure having a baby really teaches you how responsible and caring your partner is or is not. If your relationship is not going good than a child will make things way more complicated. I think either way a child is a lot of work and can cause a good relationship to have more stress. It all depends on the people and if there ready for children or not.
@subha12 (18450)
• India
28 Apr 08
it is most of the time said so. its also taken for granted, when the relationship is on rocking roads, then if you are having a child, it somewhat reduces tension in the relationship. but tyhere are deviations also,.
@jodz81 (8)
• Australia
28 Apr 08
My partner and i had a baby 6 months ago and before falling pregnant we did hit a rocky stage in our relationship, it had lost some spark.Our baby was not planned but i wanted to have him anyway though my partner was unsure.I was not going ahead with it to make our relationship better.Though since we have had him in our lives we are much happier and closer and it's great.
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
28 Apr 08
I know that a number of people believe in this, but I believe it is a horrible idea. Of course having a child, and going through the pregnancy and birth and parenting can help to strengthen a relationship, as you go through so much together, but if the relationship needs fixing/to be better, then a child definitely isn't the solution. Even if both people want to have a child, rocky times in a relationship are the completely wrong time to decide to have a child, which will cause a lot more stresses on the individuals and the relationship. If you're having a planned pregnancy, only do so when the relationship is better, and good and stable and happy, and not beforehand as some sort of solution, to make the person you are with "stay together for the kid" or something. That sort of emotional blackmail is really bad, and obviously very immature for someone who wishes to raise a child. I would never use a child/pregnancy to try to solve a failing or bad relationship. (I am not passing judgement, just sharing my opinion on this matter from personal knowledge and experience)
@only1shi (405)
• United States
28 Apr 08
i think that if your relationship is already strong, then a new member to the family can only make it stronger. but if your relationship is unstable, a baby will only make things more volitile and chaotic. people tend to miscontrue having a baby for undying love and that is just not the case. not after days, months, weeks of not sleeping. a baby that won't stop crying. and everything in between from being extremely happy and content, to screaming, to sleeping, to pooping in a matter of moments. if your relationship isn't in a good place, than this inconsistancy and loss of personal space will only make things worse.
@vcha_23 (110)
• Philippines
28 Apr 08
it doesn't strengthen the bond when you two are still unprepared for it... but it does when you two have it in your plans t the proper time and circumstance... there are lots of couples already who have kids that still opted to break up because of differences that can't be compromised... and they still share the kids like being with them on a schedule or upon request of the either side...
@busta1baby (1230)
• United States
28 Apr 08
i think some ppl do this
• Philippines
28 Apr 08
Yes, definitely! having a child gives a strong bond, love and respect to a couple... But unfortunately, if your relationship is already on the rock before having a baby I don't think it will work baby will just suffer.. but if your relationship are still in good terms before having a baby, I'd tell you that you will have more bond, love and respect when your baby come..
@ayessa (1584)
• Philippines
28 Apr 08
If you're asking this question is to have an advice because your relationship with your partner is having a problem better disregard having a baby. But if you're asking this and your relationship is okay it will help to make the raltionship much stronger. I am saying these for what I experienced and for what I saw to others. When I and my husband had a child our relationship becomes more stronger since we are working as a couple and for the sake of our child. (Our relationship is fine even without the baby). But to the experience of some who plan to have a baby when their relationship has a proble it only become worse and I saw the child suffers more than the couple. I hope you're not in this kind of relationship nor will not be in this kind. Goodluck!
@mbs730 (2151)
• Canada
28 Apr 08
Let me tell you something, before my husband and I had kids we were able to enjoy ourselves and eachother more. But kids cause stress and we also have a child under the autism spectrum. It causes stress and I am less happy in my marriage than I was before my kids. I don't blame my kids at all, but its just the way the situation is. So kids really do put a strain on relationships. But maybe in the rarer cases a baby could increase the bond. I am just telling you about my experiences.
@farmaz (112)
• Malaysia
28 Apr 08
Hi there.I am no saint or wise guy to advice but I am expecting for a nephew or niece in about 5 months or so.I realize that the relationship between my brother and my sister in law has been much closer than before.Even I am close to her now.I wasn't that close to her before this but I am now.So there are pros and cons in having a baby.It could be for a better or worse condition.In order to clarify this doubt,I think you and your partner should sit down and list out the pros and cons of having a baby.In my perception it will be difficult to have a baby but at the end of the day joy is there.Try it out,list it out.Make a comparison.But you must be neutral in giving and receiving response.All the best.A very good topic indeed.
@roniroxas (10568)
• Philippines
28 Apr 08
no. i have four children and now a single parent. i tag along my children and left my husband. a relationship goes better with you and your partner. the bonds that makes you complete. some couples stay stronger without children, some relationship bonds stronger with children but not all the time having children makes a relationship better. having children must come when both of you are financially ready and emotionally ready as well.