It is so hard. I dont think I could cope as a step parent

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My nephew seems to be having such a hard time accepting my sisters boyfriend. He lives with his father who has a girlfriend and a month old baby but that does not seem to bother him as much. My sister related that he caught her and her boyfriend kissing and forced himself between them, pushed away the guy and told him not to touch his mother like that. They also went to the supermarket and the boyfriend started picking up snacks for him. He was very irritated by this and asked him why was he picking up snacks. At home upon seeing my sister packing the snacks for him to take home with him he told her he did not want to take them as his father will buy snacks for him. Oh my goodness he is really not taking to this relationship at all. He wants his mom all for himself. I dont know that I could stand to have to work to gain a childs acceptance. It is hard, as you know they may really be hurting because their parents are not together or because they believe that parent is solely theirs. The idea of speaking to someone who has already started a family has never really appealed to me. I have spoken to men who do, but I have never interacted with their children and to be quite frank I have never given that relationship much chance simply because the prospect does not appeal to me. I know its not fair but I just cant seem to get past that. I'd really rather to start my own family than to marry into one that is basically readymade. Can you relate? If you are a step parent how do you really deal with it? How do you manage?