urgh

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hey all~ so i know i have been sort of quiet on the site recently, sorry....so let's see...my urgh....my rsd is getting worse, i'm being able to do less, i keep trying to do more, but the more i do the less i can do :( then i had a dr's apt this past week....it didn't go well by any standard. why is it that some diseases get treated by the medical profession as unimportant, when they do so much damage.....then one's that do less damage, get more attention and care...??? it is so disheartening. my dr said she is out of ideas, she's starting to talk in terms of giving up on me.....then she said how this pain dr has made it sound as if i am okay enough to work...WHAT? in one breath she admits im bad off...then entertains an idea of me working? i'm lost....well i think she is too. u see, she doesn't speak english as a first language either does the pain dr (one is from eastern europe the other form japan). my dr is great, but i'm afraid that her and the pain dr have misunderstood eachother, and i'm stuck in the middle...and may loose my insurance over it :S (dshs) i dont know what i'm going to do, the pain is worse with the stress, im worried, i can't accomplish half of what i want to do or need to do, yet i may be forced to 'look' for work, when its obvious to anyone who knows me that this goal cant be accomplished (its not that i dont want to work, i want to, its i CANT) this damn nerve disease, it gets it stentch on everything :( ~j