School nurse called to complain that my son is too skinny!

It is difficult for the school nurse because she is a licensed individual and is in effect responsible for all of the children while they are at school. She has to find out whether the doctor knows about the weight loss and if there are special directions that must be followed at school for your son. If she did not ask the question and something bad happened to your son because of her failure to ask such questions, or because of her failure to care enough about your son to ask them, she could lose her license. She would also have the guilt of what happened to your son on her for life which would be horrible for her as most nurses are bleeding heart people who care about others more than they care about themselves. There is often a concern about weight loss on the part of school nurses because often if there is a failure to eat enough and a weight loss there is going to be also a problem with learning and the retention of things learned. Children need to gain appropriate weight in order to learn properly. If they don't gain appropriate wait then the nurse of course would worry. This is normal. Re: the fact that you felt "grilled". The school nurse cannot trust that you do know that your son is underweight or that the MD does know about it.The school nurses have a good reason for not trusting parent's words and for asking many questions as they have been often lied to. I know of one school nurse who called the doctor's office and found that the child had not been to the doctor in two or three years when the parent had said that the child was in to see the doctor a week ago. The failure to provide adequate medical and dental care is something that some neglectful parents are guilty of. They give all other parents a bad name. And unfortunately the school nurse has seen a lot of them. And add to that the uneducated parents who don't understand the need to monitor weight and the working parents who are too busy to notice weight loss, and you have even more reason for her to "grill" you or any other parent. The school nurses often work late to see all of the students, to administer shots, to take care of first aide issues, to do feeding tubes, to deal with seizures, and lice and a lot of things that you cannot immagine. They see a lot of child abuse and molest. They see so much suffering and want so much to help the children... I know that you were annoyed but I think perhaps you need to look at things from the school nurses' perspective too. Have a heart and understand that she cares enough for your son to ask the questions even that will annoy you. She had enough caring for your son to risk even your disapproval. She has the desire to assist your son and is serious about that. This is not a bad thing. You and she are on the same team. You both care about your son. That is a good thing.

I know exactly what you mean. I have had the school nurse call and say my child had lice and couldn't return to school without a Dr. note, he had dandruff, which I tried to tell her, but no, I had to spend money I didn't have for a Dr. appt. Then a couple of months ago, my 6 year old supposedly had Mirsa, she has a wart on her finger. It makes you understand why these nurses are working at schools instead of in hospitals, or Dr's offices. I would really prefer that if my child gets sick at school, that the office just call me and let me decide, if they need to go to the Dr. or just need a little TLC. Your son is probably on an ADHD med. I have a 10 yr old daughter who takes Straterra, yes her appetite goes up and down, she may lose a little weight one week and gain it back the next. Unless you start seeing a big weight loss, and there are other symptoms, I wouldn't worry much about what the school nurse says.

My son isn't in school yet so I haven't had that happen to me. But his pediatrician did tell me that he is skinny so she had me put him on some fatty foods and stuff to try to help him gain some weight. When I took him back he had been eating what she told me to feed him and she said he hadn't gained much but that maybe he was just going to be little like me. My brother and I were never on the charts growing up because we were so small but now we are like everybody else. I think it would have upset me if the school nurse would have called me though. You can't help that he lost all that weight from being put on a medication. I would have told her that his doctor prescribed the medicine and he knows how your son is doing on it and he knows how much weight your son has lost. If the doctor feels the need to do something about it then he will. Maybe you could tell her to call the doctor about it if she thinks something is wrong.

I think that i like you would have felt mad,because sometimes its just the way a child is meant to be!my grandson is a lean lad,granted he doesnt eat much but then you cant really force fed him!!he eats when he wants to.So he is always skinny looking,but thats the way he is made.When im there i try to coax him to eat a little more but he just says that he has had enough.So i just leave him to his own devices..if he is hungry he will eat!!

Don't worry about the school nurse - I would have been annoyed too! As long as he is happy, healthy & the doctor knows about his weighloss & isn't worried then there isn't anything to worry about. If she keeps pestering you about it get your doctor to write her a letter & I bet she shuts up then!

all the doctors know about hte weight for the age. so they would have told you something... these kind of experiences have never happened to us

That happened to my brother back in middle school, turned out that he had Type 1 Diabetes and a growth spurt to top it all off. I was just right when I was a child.

Yep! I had my vice principal call my house because my school councillor told him I was losing weight, looking pale, exhausted and thin. They didn't believe me when I said it was because of the birth control pill I was on. It wasn't working with my body and it was making me very ill. My mom was so annoyed because she knew I was losing weight, my doctor knew and I was very well aware of my changes. I'm at a healthy weight now and no one can complain to me about being small. I would have been annoyed to if I was a parent. I would have just told her to mind her own business and if his weightloss was a truly big concern for ME, then I'd inform the school so they make sure he's eating and whatnot.

You maybe an exception to the rule, you would be surprised how many people are clueless about their kids weight or size or activities and she probably geared her conversation to the normal person she deals with. I would be glad that she bothered to call and does care. Some school nurses just do the minimum and that is not their job.

Yes I would have been annoyed too. My mothe gets annoyed when the school calls her for stupid reasons regarding my two younger siblings. It's her job but sometimes it gets tiring when the school calls. I would just have told him that his doctor has checked him and everything is right and that she does not need to worry. My mother has had a few similar experiences like that but it didn't have to do with my younger siblings weight it had to do with something else entirely.

I would totally be annoyed by this. Something kind of similar happened a couple years ago. When school had started I had filled out the paper work for them to have free lunch. We got the letter saying they were approved. About a week goes by and social services comes to my door, saying that the school called them because I wasn't sending lunch money with my kids. I was so pissed, because the school didn't even contact me, they went straight to social services. My kids didn't even say anything. I thought things were going good. I showed them the letter saying they were approved for free lunch, and they left me alone. the school updated their computer and I didn't even get an apology. Good luck to you and your son.

They do seem to get a bit obsessed with a childs weight, I had it a few times with one of my sons who is 7, he eats like a sparrow. I have long ago learnt that my son will only eat when he is hungry and if he is not hungry then he will eat nothing. But when he was younger and weighed regularly then it always seemed to be an issue that he was underweight a little bit, does he eat, what does he eat, how often. It used to drive me mad, now he does eat a bit more, and he was recently weighed at school and his weight is just what it should be.

I have many school nurse stories. I have a child with special health care needs and had to fight with the school district for a year to hire a nurse so he could get a proper education. The first nurse was wonderful she actually became one of our home nurses. The district treated her horribly and we lost her mid year the next one was so bad her contract was not renewed. The one this year is a nosy know it all. At the beginning half of the year she found out my son is always isolated at the hospital be cause his tracheostomy grows out bacteria that is resistant to antibiotics. She took it upon herself to call the health department and have him kicked out of school until everything got straitened out. I called the hospital lab and my sons doctor and everyone I spoke to said the nurse was a b@#*!. I along with another parent have tried unsuccessfully to have her fired this year. I can no longer advocate for my son at school because I am an employee but I just tell my husband what is going on and he takes over. Sucks to be the district he is more overprotective and fierce about our son that I am. Watch out for Papa bear. Some nurses think they are all knowing because they went to school. Kiss my butt they don't live with our children 24/7. Sorry about the rant. Some school nurses drive me crazy.

I understand your annoyance. And, there was probably something in the way that she talked to you, her tone, that you didn't appreciate. When my son was in preschool, at the age of 3, I had a similar situation. Only thing is the school didn't come to me first. They referred what they thought to be an issue to a higher authority, wihout even mentioning their concerns about my child to me. The concerns that they had were not directly about me. So, I felt that if they thought that there was cause for alarm they should have notified me since I was his mother. Anyways, we talked to the higher authority. The first thing that they said was that they probably shouldn't have been called but since they were they had to follow through. Of course, the whole matter was over rather quickly. But, my son never went back to the school. When the higher authority and the teacher asked why my son hadn't been back to the school I stated that I wasn't comfortable sending him there any longer. I didn't need to be subjected to their overly zealous watchdog ways running interference in my family's life. And, I was greatly offended that they didn't come to me on my child's behalf and that they might have thought that I had anything less than my child's best interest at heart. The teacher stated that she understood. And, I later heard that the person responsible for handling the "issue" got in trouble for not following procedure in my son's case. Now, with all that said, if the school feels that something is needed to be bought to my attention I generally don't mind discussing it with them. It feels good to know that they are looking out for my son's best interest, just like I am. I know that they are paying attention to my child, when I am not around to do so, and he's not just getting lost in the shuffle.

really, wow, i didnt know they did stuff like that, heck our school doesnt even have a school nurse! maybe she is looking out for child abuse or maybe even just a busy body? lol seriously, what did you do? could you complain to the school board, or is it not worth it?

Ugh...schools really need to make some changes where the "nurses" are concerned. They have no right to make their own judgements of our children's health...that's why we as parents choose doctors for them. Is it really any of her business how much your son weighs anyway? I don't think so...but probably that has something to do with the attitude of the nurse at my kids old school. My daughter was "borderline" when they checked the BMI's and this woman sent a letter home with my daughter saying she was at risk for becoming overweight and that I should give her healthier foods and get her more active....ok first, that type of thing should have been sent in the mail to me not just handed out in front of the whole class room. Second, this woman does not live me and has no idea what I feed my children or how active they are. My other two who were in school at the time had perfectly healthy BMI's yet she still accused me of feeding them junk. But it wasn't as bad as what she told another girl's parents. That girl officially fell into the overweight category...although not by much...and the nurse threatened to call CPS if they didn't get her weight under control. These were 11-12 year old girls and both are still short for their ages...you know how kids usually gain pounds then inches, out and up, back and forth til they're full grown? Well both these girls were just getting ready to get their final spurt of inches, they were both healthy according to doctors but this nurse still had to act uppity as if she knew more about our children's health than we did.

I would have been very annoyed! My son has had problems with his teeth ever since they come in he goes to the dentist alot and one year at my sons parent teacher confrence the school nurse come in and told me I needed to take my son to the dentist, he had just been there the day before! It really makes you mad! Maybe they should ask a few questions befor acting like you arent' trying to take care of your child!

Well if I was in your situation, I would have been annoyed to. The good thing about the school set up here in my child's school is instead of calling, everyday, they have this handbook which they could use for the whole year. All the activities and notices if any for the day will be written on this handbook. So for whatever transpired during the day, I could read from this handbook, including the assignments and all the rest. So if there are also medical concerns, it will be written there. There is no need to call. The best thing is this handbooks are to be signed by the parent each day. The signature will signify that you have read and monitored what has transpired in school, and also post reply from there. So if there are medical concerns, like one time, my son had some hard earwax on his ear, the nurse noted it, and I just replied to her through the handbook. Its really a great system for monitoring and interaction. I think its better since you won't be annoyed by any call. Though it also depends on how the call was done, and the tone that it was delivered.

Ew that IS annoying! We did have a similar problem with our kids old school. They called us because our kids had bad teeth. (all 3 of my kids had really bad teeth. Some dentists called it Baby Bottle Rot, but we did things different with each kid and they all still got it. They're permanent teeth grow in just fine.) But anyway the school was all concerned and threatened action if we didn't take them to the dentist (which we did every year anyway, but they wanted the report...etc. etc.) Since it was their baby teeth there wasn't much the dentists could do anyway other than let them fall out naturally, or pull them out. This wasn't good enough for the school, they made the kids brush their teeth at school. I didn't complain about that because it is good for them to do. But it was annoying that they didn't think we were doing anything about our kids' teeth.

Ugh! Every single year, my mom would get that call about me. I had a really high metabolism when I was younger. Each year, my school nurse would call my mom and grill her about my eating habits. She would ask her if I eat. What I eat. What she made for dinner last night. What she packed for me for my lunch. If she was sure that she saw me eat my dinner. Every year the nurse would tell my mom that she thought I was either anorexic or bulimic or that my mom was simply not feeding me. So, from first grade they insisted that I was anorexic or bulimic. Seriously. I didn't even know what either one of those things were until health class in junior high school. But, I had to be either one of those things. So, it was a battle for my mom every year until high school. I was just a skinny kid. And, my metabolism finally caught up with me...or I caught up with it...around 27 years of age. No matter how many times my mom told the nurse that I just had a really high metabolism and told her that I didn't even know what anorexia or bulimia were, she wouldn't listen. They watched me eat my lunches from afar and made sure to follow me into the bathroom if I went in afterwards. My poor mom! I still feel bad about the heck I put her through even though neither of us had any control over it. I had a healthy appetite and my mom provided nutritious meals for me along with nice sugary desserts and, nothing helped me gain weight until my body was ready. So, I feel for you!