i was really disappointed to my son...

Is he 27 and still living with you? If so I think the first step is make him less comfortable. Tell him he has 60 days to get his own place. If he isn't going to further his education then he needs to support himself. Either way, talk to him. Tell him what you are feeling but do it gently. Tell him you are worried because you don't know what his plans are. Maybe he has plans you don't know about. Be emotionally supportive, not financially. And let him know that. Explain that you are proud of him and that you know he has so much potential. But also let him know that you want him to be happy. Whatever you do, start with a deep breath and be calm. Talking with your son is the only way you are going to get through this. Remember he is an adult. You won't know what, if any, plans he has made unless you ask.

wow! sounds quite tough or maybe he is interested more in teaching and waiting for his friend to contact him. Give him time about it and if ever, he will not get the job in teaching and still he is not doing something, maybe you need to sit down and talk about it, he is not getting younger and soon will have his own family! I remember when I was still in the apartment I am renting in the Philippines, our landlady is always like our alarm clock nagging his son for not looking for any job and he finished in a very prestigious institution where obviously made his parents loan everywhere for the tuition! The other 2 were already successful and he still a happy go lucky person I have ever known!

Well, personally I do agree with some of the others who said you need to set your foot down, and make him be more responsible for himself. If you do not start doing it now it will continue to become even more trouble later on. Your son needs to be told that he needs to be out there looking for a job, and helping support himself, and save up so he can be on his own. Even stop handing him any $$ to go do things unless he is helping himself first. When you say he finished with school, and then continues to not be interested in going out there and getting a job, etc. it could be because he knows you will continue to support and feed him. If you make it known you are not going to be doing this, and stick with it, you should start to see some improvement, and if you don't you might have to insist he move out so he can mature if he wants, or be a Bum and find out just how rough life is out there. Wishing you the Best. I am sure it is not an easy decision to make.

your son is not your little boy anymore, he is an adult already. i would suggest that you refrain from nagging him, that is the last thing he needs coming from his own family. give him all the understanding that you can muster.the more you nag and hate him for it the more that we will slump.it is all psychological, have faith in himand support him in whatever he decides to do with is life. believe that he is responsible enough to take care of himself.he may have some plans or dreams only him knows. he is the same as you were, think about it. you want to live your own life and decide on your own and you want that support from all your peers whether it would please them or not. so just let him be. do not make him feel that you are disappointed , be sincere with your feelings towards him. he would feel that. provide him that positive energy , that is the help he needs , moral support.

hes 27.. mooching off of you refusing to get employment. tell em to work or hit the curb.

Listen to LoudnProud!! Although I have two daughters, 32 and 18 I can relate to the only child thing...I still do it...they are both my love and even though I've taught them to be independent I am still and always will be there for them...as a matter of fact I just bought our first home...for them, that was my ultimate goal. (although my ultimate, ultimate goal is that I live long enough to pay for it!! LOL It is actually 2 homes for 1, the garage is converted and is beautiful, it only requires a kitchen, which will come in time, but that is my oldest daughters home! Don't get me wrong, we don't live in Peter Pan world, but we are happy and I know where my babies are all the time!! (thank you God) Listen to the wise words of LoudnProud, don't ever "throw out your children" don't give ultimatems either because if he or she happens to get good and pissed he or she might leave and to go where? To live with who? To live off what? To eat with what? You will make yourself sick with worry and concern and you'll truly be forever heartbroken if something were to happen. Stay cool, talk to him not at him and see what's up :-) Good luck and Blessings for you and yours ~G~

This may sound harsh, but if he finds himself without a place to stay and money to pay for food, he will realize the value of starting his own living. As a parent, it is a difficult task to make our kids suffer, but there is such a thing as tough love. Find time to really talk to him about your concerns. Tell him that you love him and that you support his decision, but now that he is done with school, you expect him to start contributing in the household if he intends to stay there. Charge him rent, and a share of the utilities, also with the food. If this does not sit well with him, help him find his own lodgings and he can take care of himself. At 37, he should be able to. The question is now do you love him enough to do this?

Awwww..sorry to hear about your son..but don't nag him to much but give him constant reminder of getting a job. Tell him at times your expenses at home and tell him you need his help so he might just would stand up and find a job. Give him time..He will soon get a grip on it. As I said just give him reminders and don't nag. Take care and good luck.

I think that what have to do is wait it out even if he is already old enough to be on his own. He may really want to teach. From what you have stated in you discussion, I gathered that your son isn't that aggressive or ambitious? I think that would be okey and maybe he is still finding his niche. It would be bad for him to work also at a job that he is just force to take but its not something that he really loves. As parents I guess, all we have to do is guide our children to find their own niche where they would be happy and make something of themselves. If your son wants to teach, then I think its a very noble profession and if he is a whiz, then he will be able to impart a lot of knowledge to the younger generation.

is he living with you? are you facilitating his laziness? he is old enough that he should be looking to get his own job and his own place to live. i know he is your only child, but it is time to be a little tougher with him now...

sad--it sounds a lot of my brother...see my brother graduated 6 years ago and he still ain't got job till now...he wouldn't try his luck...he is just so lazy to find his own job and he is living with me and my mother...i didn;t graduate but i got better paying job...he just ask for money to me or to our mother...my mother kept on nagging on him but he wont listen and he gets irritated about it...to our dismay we just accepted the fact that he will just gonna be a pain in the a** to us...part of it maybe should be blame on my parents becaus e they never brag so much about it and just let it no big deal...i was just worried when he gets to an age...how would he keep his self alive... i guess you should talk to your son and brag about it...its better that you won't lack the reminders than him to be sorry when he age...he should do his part now he's no young at the age of 27

vanities he is twenty seven so hes an adult and has to make up his own mind.I know how tough it is to just watch as I have had to with my own adult son but ultimately he will make up his mind and i am sure since he is your son and has had your guidance he is going to do just great. oddly my own son is another of these computer whizes and he is a computer programmer which was his final choice and always his first love. so I think you just have to stand back, bite your nails and let him decide. its so hard,isn't it but we want our sons to be happy too.

sounds like you are from the philippines. and a lot of parents here really do that. my familt is different. i was raised knowing the importance of money and that you have to earn it so you can buy things you like. so during summer i always ask my lolo if i can help around in his softdrink business and that is okay with him. so from then on every summer (oh i started to do that since i was 10) i always find a way to get a job. when i was 18 i started to join in a band and i always give my mom part of what i earned when ever we have a gig. then i went abroad with that band and that was the time when i got home i bought my mom a new refrigirator and some appliances. i know what you feel because now i am a parent already. we want all the best for our child but spoiling him is not going to be good for him. tell him if he wants to use the computer then he has to pay for it or he should be the one to pay for the electricity, or if he wants to eat he needs to give money to share with the expences. i konw thats not easy specially sa mga nanay, but i think you should start now.

Frankly speaking, I quite hate my parents nagging me what should I do, what shouldn't. It's quite boring. You son is 27,why not let him more independently. Is the education the only way let him go? Many bosses are with low education but make big performance. I think it's time for your son to go in his way. Even failed, he can accumulate the life experience. "You get, you lost". Everyone has the right to go his way, if you still guide your son, he will hate you in future. I don't mean, you can't guide him. You can give your suggestion to him, and ask him to make decision. That's my opinion for your reference. :)

you need to talk it out with your son and try asking what is his plans for his future ...