Do you have one on one time with your older child since your newborn?
By kieungoc
@kieungoc (232)
United States
May 1, 2008 9:40pm CST
Our second child was born in December 2007. He is beautiful and healthy and happy. Well, except when he has to be in his crib! Anyways, we also have a 3 year old that completely loves his baby brother. It seems since day one, Cosmo has welcomed and adored the new addition to our family. The whole situation has taken a lot of my time away from Cosmo since I am nursing and the baby just needs me. My MIL and husband suggested to me that I should have a one on one day with Cosmo at least once a week. We've done it a few times and I hope to do it a lot more once my husband is done with teaching. We just get in the car and I ask him what he would like to do. Usually, we go and get a special drink like root beer or Orangina. I just do not want him to resent me or his baby brother at all. We've tried everything to prepare him for Ari and it seemed to work. I am sure if we didn't take the steps that he would still be fine, but it doesn't hurt to be sure. My husband and I got a gift and gave it to Cosmo the day Ari was born and said it was from his baby brother. We also took Cosmo out to help find a toy for Ari before he was born. I couldn't ask for a more accepting 3 year old. I love going on special dates with my boy Cosmo. Did you do anything like this when you had a second kid? Maybe it's unnecessary, but I want him to feel special and I want him to know that do have time for him.
3 responses
@SViswan (12051)
• India
9 May 08
I had my second child when my older one was 6 yars old. So, I did expect a little jealousy(though the older one was looking forward to having a sibling). Though my older one was independant, I always had one-on-one time with him where we would do lots of things he liked to do. And I didn't want him to miss that when the baby came home.
On weekdays, I had someone to spend time with baby while I spend 'special' time with my older one. Of course, we couldn't do everything we used to do earlier....but my older one could see that I was trying to make an effort to spend time with him. The first few months were hard and I couldn't really do it. But once the baby turned 6 months, it was easier, because we had set the routine.
Now, baby is 17 months and big brother is having vacations...so, we spend time when the baby is napping.
You seem to be doing a wonderful job with your kids. And even when the older one doesn't complain, they do need your attention.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 May 08
i have 3 kids with my present wife, a 10 year old girl, a 4 year old boy and a 1 year old baby boy. even when the older boy was born, i never miss a special time with the girl. i have two jobs here, so i am a little bit so busy and i also have a very tiring days. but even though i lack time, i always make sure to have balance treatment with all of them. i guess we as parents, should not show the kids one is greater than the other...
@lhw7661 (51)
• United States
2 May 08
Wonderful! Excellent strategy!!! I did a similar activity with my first born and he loved it. Sort of like date night. I think first children are forever special and need to feel that love and get the attention they had before #2 or #3 comes along. If you can, I would suggest more than once a week and also special time with just dad. You and your husband sound like very perceptive, loving, thoughtful parents.
