Late Night Cyn

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Disclaimer: This is all in good fun. None of the remaining discussion is meant to be serious in anyway whatsoever. The individual I am roasting is subject to publicly bearing comedic insults, praise, outlandish true and untrue stories, racial stereotypes and heartwarming tributes. The implication being that the roastee is able to take the jokes in good faith and as not being serious criticism or insult, and therefore showing their good nature. It is seen as a great honor to be roasted, as the individual is surrounded by friends, fans, and well-wishers. Are you depressed? Does the election seem like The Comedy Channel to you? Is the economy a walk in the park compared to the problems that you have? Well if you need to be cheered up how about subscribing to a late night Adult Channel?! The Cyn channel is exclusive to myLot. A mere $1 a minute. But let's have a quick peek at the free 10 minute trailer. Cyn is a real life walking talking Barbie Doll. Beneath that heavily dyed hair lies the true mind of a fluttering, stuttering, child. Easily seduced by baubles she will simper and smile like the pole dancer that she is. Those too tight shorts, that figure hugging top. Her 6 inch heels threatening to topple her into the front row where her adoring audience sit, raincoats discreetly laid over their laps, swallowing every drop of her voluptuousness. She struts and she strides, her kick boxing honed thighs threatening to snaggle anyone that looks too long. Her tummy, washboard flat belies the fact that she swallows at least a pound of dark chocolate a night. She loves nothing better than to have bars of Cadbury's chocolate pushed firmly into the waistband of her short shorts. A gourmet and bon viveur is Cyn. Her favourite wine? "Take me to Tiffany's. I want something expensive." Throwing herself across the stage like a demon possessed. She gyrates and she pouts, wiggles and waggles. Her nails are chewed, her hair pushed back. "Whatcha think of this then" she shouts as she points to the tattoo on her chest. She loves it to be seen, thrusts it out at us all. Now she is on horseback. Galloping, the gentle rhythm of her ride catches our gasp, as she turns and she smiles at our camera. There she goes down the trail. Now the picture is dimming but there is one final shot of her smiling so bright and the TV flickers and up comes a sign "Goodbye Friend". We love that girl, she can do no wrong, she's a friend alright indeed with Cyn we are two friends, two bodies with one soul inspir'd.