Lovers

@cyntrow (8524)
United States
May 4, 2008 8:02pm CST
My God, why don't we use this term anymore? It's so romantic and passionette(sp). When did we decide that this was a bad term; a wrong term. Even my gay friends no longer use the term, when it used to be the norm in the gay community. My uncle still refers to Tommy as his lover for the past 20 some odd years, but the term lost something with my generation. Why? It's so glorious. To have a lover....sigh....My husband is my lover. It loses none of it's passion because he's my spouse. What do you think? Should we bring "lover" back? And why did it leave in the first place?
3 people like this
6 responses
@Pitgull (1523)
• United States
5 May 08
I think people should listen to the word that is used, and realize this person is expressing endearment. Not enough people show those they care about, how they actually feel, and this is the true shame. I like the word lover, and I use it with mine...
1 person likes this
@Stiletto (4584)
5 May 08
Lover is a great term, I definitely think we should bring it back. I don't know why it left, maybe as others have suggested due to the association with illicit relationships such as mistresses etc. It's just so much sexier than the alternatives - partner is too business like, boyfriend just doesn't sound right when someone is my age, significant other just sounds pretentious I think. I may refer to my next victim as my lover - although I've got to find one first!
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
6 May 08
OMG, I so agree. I hate partner. My best friend is a partner in a law firm. Nothing romantic about that term. SIg other is so yuppie and so not me. Lover is sweet and romantic. It hurts my heart that so many gay men now refuse to use the term. the root word in lover is Love. That's how I see it. My husband is my lover.
@tidbit (9)
• United States
5 May 08
Wonderful question! I, in fact, use the word "lover" to refer to my life partner on a daily basis. We were actually joking the other day about how weird it is to call each other by our given names anymore. At first we only said it to each other at home: "How was your day today, Lover?" or "Lover, have you seen my keys?" But now, it's so normal to us, that we have started saying it in public when we're in the store or walking down the street! In small town Ohio, we've definitely received disapproving looks, but it doesn't faze us too much. Unfortunately, I think we MAY be taking it to extremes, you know... using it too often loses the zeal it once had. But lately, I've been trying to remember what it really means to call her my lover. It reminds me that we truly are deeply in love with one another.
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
6 May 08
I call my husband my lover. And I will call him "lover" more often than I call him Mark. I think the syllable in Lover that people forget is "love". The romance is so incredible. ***sigh*** It's a great word
@tjades (3592)
• Jamaica
5 May 08
Apparently the term lover became the term used for the sweethearts and so it was no longer considered appropriate for committed couples to refer to each other as lovers. They really are each others lovers though but even for me the way that the term as been socialized to me might make it hard for me to call my partner my lover or to hear him call me that. But then again pausing to think of it...it just might not. It does come off as very nice endearment when you think of it. Oh well I'll see what happens. (lol)
@mummymo (23707)
5 May 08
I have no idea why the word lover went so out of fashion - my best guess would be as it made them sound like a bit on the side but as I say that is a guess! I think it is a wonderful .passionate,, romantic and totally descriptive word and I think it should be used more too. You go girl - lets get lover brought back to popular usage! xxxx
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
5 May 08
I also hate that it's not a commonplace word any more - at least not one with positive connotations. To say that you have a lover would to someone else mean to have taken a "mistress/suitor" outside of your relationship with your boring sounding "spouse" =P My boyfriend and I call each other "Lover", we are lovers! We're in love, we love, we make love - we are both lover and lovee; constantly =D It is glorious, and I have to say: I'd rather that passionate was spelt passionette, like you spelt it. That's quite glorious and much more romantic =D Like Tidbit, we will refer to each other as "Lover" when we are out, or just talking at home, as well as a range of other names. Sometimes it's quite strange to use our names, actually =P Great discussion - let's start a loverrevolution! =D