Dealing with a miscarriage

I am so sorry for your loss. I miscarried back in the end of December 2005. Even though I was only a few weeks along it hit me and a lot harder than I expected. It took me more than a year before I could think about it without starting to cry. I do already have 2 kids, but no matter how many kids one has, loosing the baby was still very saddening. I didn't actually go through the jealous thing like you, but just about the opposite. My cousin had a miscarriage (her first pregnancy) and I was pregnant with my oldest. I was only a few weeks along when I found out she lost the baby. I felt so bad for her. I didn't tell her (or anyone else on that side of the family) that I was pregnant during that time. They did eventually find out though. I almost flipped at that point as I didn't want her finding out so soon (though I knew she would some time), but I found out soon after that she was pregnant. And it was successful! She now has a 9 year old son.

What you're going through is very normal and is expected. Regardless of our far along you were, you still are experiencing a loss of your child. It's natural for you to grieve over something like this. Just this past May, I lost my child at 12 weeks pregnant and it was devastating. My aunt had her baby in May, and I was a bit jealous of her. She had her baby to hold, I was never going to be able to hold mine. Although, I do have two beautiful little girls but it still doesn't take the place of that baby. They have held me together since the loss of our child, but I still miss being pregnant and wish things would of happened differently.