It is so hard to be objective to ones own writing
@Hatley (163772)
Garden Grove, California
May 6, 2008 1:53pm CST
I wrote this last night but have no idea is it good,bad or just so so. The man paces, his shoes clash against the tiles. the dog whines, the man sits down, his face a frown. what do you want, I am leaving. the dog howls, the man slaps his hand on the table, the dishes clatter. I am leaving. What do you want, money, jewelry, a cruise? the dog whimpers, and puts his head
in the man's lap. I am leaving. The man pats the dog's head,
now the man smiles. softly almost a whisper, I LOVE YOU.
The door opens. She embraces him. I never left. Your opinion
MyLotters:? I know it needs polishing.
2 people like this
2 responses
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
6 May 08
Hatley, this came to my inbox and I had to answer.
LEAVE IT ALONE! It's perfect. I love the style - very reminiscent of some of my favorite writers - very old fashioned actually, but JUST PERFECT!
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
18 Jun 08
After I responded to this some time ago Hatley, I discovered through a friend here, that this kind of thing is called 'flash fiction'. It's a new genre created by the internet and is growing in popularity every day. In fact, it seems I'm rather good at it myself and have been making a few bob writing quite a bit of it. So keep writing things like this down Hatley.
And thank you too for best response. Much appreciated. Hugs.
@Xdrowninghavocx (3117)
• United States
6 May 08
A little polishing. And maybe some more detail. Is it suppose to be a poem? I was somewhat lost. I'm not exactly sure where it takes place either. I think I understand the concept of it. Overall, it has potential to be super intriguing.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
6 May 08
yes its a poem I just wrote in my head as
I was remembering a quarrel I had with
my husband years ago.
