What would you do and what should I do......
By Denanna
@Denanna (47)
United States
May 6, 2008 2:50pm CST
I ahve a long story but I will attempted to make it short,, I have worked my whole life since 15 and always knew I would be ok because I was in charge,, 2 years ago I left a really great job that I was highly respected at and was respected in the community as well, my husband had his own business, well since then the last 2 years have been h... really hard, IRS shut his business down and we have barley been making it we went from atleast 100,000.00 a year if not more to almost not making the rent..... I have talked to him and said I would get a job and he says no he doesn't want me working and I have respected that until we have been having alot of marriage problems almost to the point of him saying he was going to get a divorce he even had papers.... SO I told him that if he didn't start trying to find some work or contracts or something I am going to get a job I gave him 30 days to make a change. We got into it about 2 weeks ago 2 weeks into the 30 day time frame and he told me to go get a job, so I applied with the county to work at Welfare, since than he tore up the papers and we have agreed to really give it a good try once and for all, we still have been fighting some but nothing like before and yesterday I got a notice that I can test for the job on May 8th I have told him and said I won't go, than last night we fought again and I feel like he is always finding things wrong with me and he is always getting mad at me like am a kid or his employee, so I sit here wondering do I take the test or do I let it go and count on him, I have 3 children from my first marriage and I know I have to do good by them.. What would you do?? I really need advice.... Thanks
4 responses
@sirnose (2436)
• United States
6 May 08
I can't give you no advice,but you should do whats best for you and your children,you must don't listen to Dr.Laura radio program because you would know how to handle your situation. Dr.Laura says that family is always first regardless who or whom the is problem.
@Denanna (47)
• United States
14 May 08
Thank you and I do listen to Dr. Laura and I gotta to admit this time I don't know what she would tell me to do, a believe she would tell me to put the kids needs first and let him deal with it, what is so funny I started listening to her about 4 years ago because he kept insisting before that I thought she was rude and mean know I love her..... is this what you mean??
@sirnose (2436)
• United States
15 May 08
Well, no,i'm more realistic than dr. laura,i mint that if going back to work will take the pressure off your situation then by all means do it,you know your situation better than anyone else,husbands will tell their wive's that they donot want them to work when all's well,but when things change that when they wish that their wive's were working or looking for ways to help with the family finances.Good luck in whatever you decide.
@mrbranan (1012)
• United States
14 May 08
Well let me tell you, I have 3 children and love my husband very much. However I do not depend on him to pay the bills. I pay everything. He works and we use his paycheck for all the extra things we want for our children. My husband and I have been together for a long time our oldest son is 17 if that tells you anything but I refuse to depend on anyone to take care of me or my children. I have a peace of mind knowing that if something happen today and he left I would still be able to support myself and provide for my children.
@dovinea (80)
• United States
8 May 08
TAKE THE JOB!!!
Here's the deal, it doesn't sound like you two are getting along that great anyway, he already had divorce papers once, which shows you that he is willing to walk out on you. Now, if you pass up a potentially great job, and he leaves in 2 or 3 weeks, what are you gonna do?
Your responsibility is taking care of your children, not to make your husband feel like a man because HE is the bread winner.
Trust me on this, I have been in a similar situation.
If he leaves because you took the job, he was gonna leave anyway, and at least this way you can support your family!!
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
15 May 08
Financial stress can destroy a marriage and it sounds like that, along with your husband's male ego is putting a hurting on yours. It's hard for a man who once supported his family to accept that he needs financial help from his wife but you do have children to think about so I would suggest that you go ahead and take the test. Maybe you should tell your husband that you will consider the job to be temporary...until he gets back on his feet financially. I'm sure he's having a very difficult time right now so be as understanding as you can be. Losing a business is hard.
