Mum's The Word?
By Malyck
@Malyck (3425)
Australia
May 7, 2008 6:41am CST
Is a woman, on her first pregnancy, technically "included" in Mother's Day? Is she a mother?
I'm fuelled by a section in my Good Weekend Magazine, the "Modern Guru", where a man wrote in to ask if he should celebrate mother's day for his pregnant wife, and if it was wrong of him to say that she is technically not a mother yet.
(After being called a "monster" by his wife's massage group upon saying this).
So what do you think?
Is a pregnant woman without any other children "valid" for Mother's Day gifts and pampering in your eyes?
Personally, I think it's up to the family/partner, but if I were her husband, I'd used any occasion or ordinary day to make her feel special, especially with a baby on the way, even if she hasn't yet given birth to a child.
If I were pregnant and mother's day were approaching, I'd like to think that my boyfriend would do something special for me. And knowing him, he probably would =P
Anyway, I digress.
Responses wanted and welcome =)
6 responses
@fredgame (1260)
• China
7 May 08
I side with you. when a woman is pregnant, it's sure that you've a baby to call though not deliver for sure life existence. if i had my girlfriend for the first pregnancy for the first time before this occassion i'll let her feel what it takes "to be a mother" she deserves all the respect for that matter.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
15 May 08
Malyck, Exchanging gifts has nothing to do with 'any special day' be it a 'mother day', father day, friendship day or something else. If you love a person, you can offer him/her a gift anytime of the year, it is not necessary that gifts should only be presented on a particular day. To present gift is matter of mutual regards and affection.
To your main query, my opinion is till a pregnant woman delivers a child, she cannot be called 'mother', because you know before actual delivery anything can happen and you would have heard that there are many slips between cup and lips. So,it would be better to call a pregnant woman a mother, the moment she delivers a 'live' infant.
(Views of others may be different from my views).
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
15 May 08
Thanks for agreeing with me.
LOL! Great friends think alike.....!!
I surely believe that whenever we feel the urge, we should present gift to our partner, besides special occasions, this makes our relationship more healthy and secure.
How are you?
Deepak
@Malyck (3425)
• Australia
15 May 08
I totally agree with you - I don't believe that exchanging gifts should be limited to "special" days, I give gifts when I feel the urge, when I have something to give, and that's at least every day, with my love if nothing else =)
I can understand views from both sides about the pregnant woman/mother debate, seeing as though during pregnancy a woman's body is going through the motions to provide food, shelter and care for the baby, as she would as a "mother".
But yeah, I think that true "parenthood" starts at the actual birth of the child =)
1 person likes this
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
10 May 08
Well, technically you wouldn't be a mother until you actually 'HAVE' the child in your arms, physically!
I remember being pregnant over Mother's Day & i didn't consider myself a Mother yet either since i was still carrying the child - even though it was only a month before my daughter's birth.
Having said that, a pregnant woman should be pampered anyway - Mother's Day or not coz she's carrying a child & her body is working overtime to create that child so she deserves it anyway!
So, i guess, no i don't think any woman is a mother unless she HAS a child but if she's pregnant over a Mother's Day then a little extra special treatment wouldn't go astray since she's 'GOING' to be a mother :)
@Malyck (3425)
• Australia
10 May 08
I'm with you - I don't think you're technically a "mother" until the child is out in the world, but others might argue differently, considering that you're providing food, shelter etc for the child whilst it's in the womb, but that's a given =P
I reckon pamper all the same, "mother" or "mother-to-be"
=)
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
15 May 08
I think so. My husband isn't into holidays. Even for his mom, I suggested our first mother's day together that he send her flowers. He said, why? I replied, "To let her know you love and appreciate her." His response was that she knows. He's just not the sort to say things out loud.
Thats not to say he's stingy. He shopped around and got me a neat new phone. When I was pregnant he got me my own computer. He just doesn't do holidays. And he assumes if you know something once you always know it. And somethings should just be known without saying it. I've learned to say, do I look beautiful and he answers of course rather then the open ended, "How do I look?" because then he says, "fine".
Compromises and acceptance I guess.
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
15 May 08
Wow you played a huge role in her life for a long time and took over for awhile. I thank you as just another spirit who appreciates your giving nature for the little ones.
I guess that's why I don't like Valentine's. I mean its like forced romance. And many guys are so nervous about getting the wrong gift doing the wrong thing. You shouldn't be nervous about that kind of thing.
I do like birthdays and try to send my mom flowers when I can on mine - after all, without her, I wouldn't have one. She carried me for nine months and brought me into the world, she deserves to be celebrated too on that day, not just mother's day.
Funny how 'birthday' gained more meaning and depth on Robert's b'day. That was his birthday and every one after is an anniversary of the day.
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@Malyck (3425)
• Australia
15 May 08
=D
I think Alex is a bit like that.
It's been hard for him to adapt to, I think, because birthdays, Christmases, and other holidays weren't a big deal in his family.
His mum still hasn't given he or I a birthday or Christmas present or some kind of thank you gesture, but she's also basically not a part of our lives any more.
She has a boyfriend now, and no time for her son.
Anywho...
I like that: "do I look beautiful?" =D
I do agree with him on that count - that if you know it once, then you always know it, and I prefer spontaneous signs of love and affection, but I also buy into the days that I know the other will appreciate - Like mother's day =)
Anywho...
I like that: "do I look beautiful?" =D
I do agree with him on that count - that if you know it once, then you always know it, and I prefer spontaneous signs of love and affection, but I also buy into the days that I know the other will appreciate - Like mother's day =)@Malyck (3425)
• Australia
15 May 08
=D
Your thanks is much appreciated - it truly is =D
Yeah, Valentines is horrible as far as I'm concerned, but it was a great surprise that Alex did so many special things for me on that day - non of it was expected and it was all great - not forced, but just an opportunity for him, and I liked that a lot =D
He made me some great art, and bought me a necklace and candles and ran me a bath and gave me a massage =P
(And a present to start of that collection I was aiming for =P)
But I know that's the sort of thing he just loves to do for me when he can, I still don't buy into that day being "special"
That's really sweet that you do that for your mum on your birthday, I'd never really thought about it before, but it is a big day for parent's too.
I'm sure [if/when] I have kids, it'll get a whole new meaning for me too.
@GreenMoo (11834)
•
9 May 08
I guess that depends on how the mum-to-be feels really.
Me, I couldn't give a monkey's about Mother's Day & these other 'special' days, so it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. In my case, that's just as well as my dearly beloved wouldn't remember any date at all withint having it stamped upon his forehead.
Other people, particularly new Mum's, might feel left out if it were forgotton. But if you're the Dad-to-be, you're going to know whether your lady is one of those who care and if you care then you'll act accordingly.
It's really nothing to get stressed over though. Shouldn't Mother's Day be everyday? You don't need a card and a bunch of flowers to say I love you.
@Malyck (3425)
• Australia
9 May 08
They're my sentiments on most "Hallmark" days.
Not a believer in Valentine's Day, I'm not a mother or father, but I'd like to think I do a lot for them most, if not every, day.
And birthdays... well that's a little different, I like to do something to celebrate 0 mainly because there's a music festival on my birthday each year so.. =P
And Easter and Christmas are just around the pool, eating, drinking and socialising days - an excuse to have a week in the kitchen with my mum.
=D
But yeah, loved ones should know how the others feel about these occasions and act accordingly, as long as their lovely the rest of the year round too =)
@kezabelle (2974)
•
7 May 08
If you are carrying a child or have carried one that to me makes you a mother wether the baby is not here anymore or is still waiting to be born.
Pregnancy is a really special time and if you happen to be pregnant over mothers day I think its nice to be made a fuss of although every day should be special while youre pregnant its nice to have that extra attention.
