What do i do?

Aww darlin. You have to decide to trust him and when you have those moments when you just can't do it you have to act AS IF. Why does he stay with you even when you act that way? Simple... he loves you. Your relationship can end because.. MAYBE one day he will let you down.. MAYBE one day you could be hurt. Don't let MAYBES cheat you out of love or life. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Past is past. You have to get over it or it will get over you. Sad to say but love without trust is a love without a future. Trust is the first and basic emotion that bonds two individual. It is a bridge between acquaintances and friends, and a bridge between friends into becoming lovers. Without crossing that bridge one can not grow and mature with the other person. I can perfectly understand what drove you to easily mistrust and your sense of insecurities, if you love him that much then try to save your relationship. Why not sit down with him and talk about your insecurities? open up to him and hear his opinion or words of assurances. You can outgrow your insecurities and mistrustfulness one day at a time with his help and love. I hope this help and good luck.

You need to learn to look at the bright side. When a pig hurts you and destroys your relationship, be glad that you saw that dirty side of him early on. Be glad that you were able to get rid of a bad boyfriend. Empower yourself that it was his loss, not yours. Don't sulk in the "pain". Pain is only a reminder for you to learn your lesson. It doesn't mean you should be afraid for the rest of your life.

This is a multi-layered question. I don't think you healed from your last marriage, so any new relationship is not going to work. You never recovered from your pain and you expect it to show up in your life. When it's not there, you make it happen by finding something bad about your boyfriend. I did pick up on one statement. You said your boyfriend tells you he is leaving you, but he doesn't. If he wants to love you, why is he threatening to leave you? How can you trust someone who treats you like that? If you want to try and save this relationship, you have a long road in front of you. First, make sure this relationship is as loving as you think it is. Many people on mylot helped me get over a love that I lost. I had to accept that the relationship was only about love in my mind. You can try to get some professional help, if you have insurance to cover the cost. Without completely cutting the relationship, maybe you can take a break It sounds like you live together, making it impossible to separate. The next time he threatens to leave you, why don't you let him go? Let me know how things work out. I know everyone on mylot will help you, the same as they did for me.

I kow what it feels like to be scared and carry that feeling over into a relationship. It really does not allow you to allow the relationship to grow as it should. There is the constant watching and prejudging that really just drives the other person nuts. The fact that you have not allowed yourself to heal from the hurt of the previous relationship is always going to ruin your future relationships not just this one. so that is what you will have to deal with. the fact that he is still holding on to me means that he knows you are still hurting and that may be why you act unreasonably. He may not be able to do so forever so I think its really up to you to really level with him about knowing you were unreasonable but you really need to work through the hurt before you can trust that way again. Give him the option of staying or leaving instead of having him hold on indefinately as you may end up causing him hurt. Its not going to be easy but it is a reality that one cannot hide from. We all have to deal with this unpleasant aspect of life sometimes. All the best in whatever you do and Cheers. (lol)

You're protecting yourself too much. Your ex, if he's anything like I imagine, pretended to do some of the things your ex just regularly does. But you might link it to your ex, and then you will always think, will he do it too? But he is not your ex, and I know we try to protect ourselves sometimes by not giving someone the chance to hurt you... but in order to find love, you have to open yourself up...you can't feel love if you don't make the risk. I was here a couple months ago, and from time to time I'll have my weird issues that aren't issues. But my boyfriend has proven he'll stay, he loves me for me and understands sometimes people have been hurt and it takes time to learn how to let yourself love again, when your defense mechanisms have been on so long... It is possible to trust someone else, it just takes time. You need to reaffirm yourself when you start doubting him, is it because of you or him? If he's not giving you any reason to doubt him, remind yourself you have no reason to search. It's not because he's clever, trust your initial instinct... With my ex, I gave it way too much second thought, 7 months I told him no, I should have known there was reason. Trust yourself. For real. Don't worry about what anyone else says, you know what's right for you. Just let go when you feel it. Just embrace the good.

The first thing you need to try and do is put the past and your ex behind you. You're present guy is not your ex and you have to learn to treat him with the respect he deserves. He's hanging in there with you because he loves you, and he wants to prove to you that he will be there for you... he needs your trust here! So, firstly, you need to close the door on all those negatives you're holding onto from your previous relationship. Nothing can be done about that... it's gone, and is no more. Then, you have to look to the future... think about how well your current guy has treated you even through all your suspicion and rows with him. He's hurting too... believe me. He needs your trust and love, and you're not allowing him it. Sit down and talk with him quietly about it... don't wait until it's time for an outburst. Tell him how much you love him and how scared you are of losing him, and also tell him that you want to put the past behind you and walk into a happier future with him. Relationships are based very heavily on trust and understanding of one another's feelings, so you'd do well to establish these foundations. Good luck... I know it's not easy because my closest man friend is like you... he's scared of getting too involved or making any commitment, because of previous bad experiences. How do I feel? Just like your guy, that I'm being blamed for something somebody else did, when all I want to do is make my partner happy... I'll never let him down... I've proved that, and I love him above all others, but still, he's afraid. Brightest Blessings. x

i think the main problem is that your feel of insecurity. try to keep away with that idea. if he loves you and you loves him, where is the problem then? try to keep with him and be secure. do not fight much.

Well I don't understand what you are looking for, a solution or sympathy or plain time pass. You ask the questions, you give the answers too & then you ask what to do. I'm sorry I don't mean to be rude but you got to understand that you know your way out already & you have just said it in your question. Just read it again & read it slowly & read it out loud. Then think it over again. Things should be clear & you SHOULD be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel soon.

I read the whole story of your discussion. Let me guess. In your first relationship with your ex-boyfriend, you have given all for him and nothing is left for you. That is what happens when you give all to your boyfriend without keeping something for yourself. You will be devastated and that's what happened to you. What you need to do is to assess yourself and look deep into your heart if you are really ready for a relationship. And learn from your experience. Don't give everything to him but reserved your purity until you get married. If you have not done so in your previous relationship, do it on your next.

my dear, i just wanna say this to you with no harm...that not every man would be the same as what it always seem like...every person differs and every person has their own unique personality...i dont blame you for being so much afraid but what i see is your not yet ready for this relationship as to where your past relationship ends not so good...it seems like you had given your 100% you on your past relationship...you must not forget that in all relationship it will be fair if you will leave at least 25% for yourself...for your own good..do not give it all...so when the time comes it did not work you still can move on and it will not be that painful... as per you current bf i must say that if you had already pushed him further with arguments then he must have loved you and mus have been waiting till you find your way back to give him what he deserves...do not go further for it might exceed the limit of getting tired of the arguments..and he might feel its always been you...try talking to him about what you really feel...being homest with what you feel will help him understand...so he will not feel that you dont love him and that there are reasons for your behavior...pls take note that if you really love your man...then you must try to let it go of the past...and look forward on what you have now...your ex is your bad past and your current will be what you have to focus and pay attention with right now...do not go back to the hurt it will hurt your current relationship...

i just want to say something to you from my personal experience .its very easy to start a relationship and more easy to break it up but its very tought to maintain it.and in a realtionship trust is the main ingredient.u are very much insecure but why to get insecure just trust him and think positively like if u think something negatively then negative vibes force it to do..i have read this things in some spiritual book.till now he is not completely yous and u r worried and what do u think after marrieage everything will be good.nothing like this will happen if u dont trust anyone then after marriage the samething will be continue then life will be worst.i dont want to give you lecture but try to trust then your life will be beautiful.

dear don't be too insecure in yourself. and don't think on what happened on your ex might happened on your bf also. just think that they were far different when it comes to attitude, etc. i guess you're falling out of love with your bf if you really feel that way. so just fight that feeling so that you both won't end up in breaking each other's heart

I can totally understand where your come from. I have been hurt in the past by cheating boyfriend's and lying boyfriend's that I fear I can't date another one knowing he might do the same to me. In your situation have you been hurt in the past by your ex's? You say this one hasn't done anything to you and you can't trust him. In my opinion ( please don't get mad ) until he proves he cannot be trusted and is good to you don't push him away and give him a chance. Try to talk to him about how you feel you love this person and don't want to lose him over something that you have insecurities about. You honestly and I know you know this but need to let go of the past about your ex's. I know it's hard but it's only going to ruin your beatiful relationship w/ the man you have now. I wish you all the best and I hope you can over come your insecureities. Take care.

LET GO AND LET GOD the pain your ex left behind is ruining your life it will destroy you and what chance you have of happiness will flee away and then your ex would have WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! do you really want that let go and let god

you have to let go first the past..then that's it!!