name not on wedding invitation

@RobinJ (2501)
Canada
May 7, 2008 5:33pm CST
Hi everyone , I need a bit of help. My niece is getting married on Saturday. when they sent out the invitations they sent one to my daughter and granddaughter,(both their names were on the one invitation) but my daughter lives with a real nice man and his name was not on the invitation. Ordinarily this would only take a phone call to clear up but my daughter does not get along all that well with my Aunt and her family. My daughter has been accused of being a trouble maker more than once. So this time she decided to say nothing. As well her boyfriend knows that the brides family (my aunt) doesn't like him at all. My question, should my daughter have tried to get an invitation for her boyfriend, or was she right in not starting another family turmoil. He boy friend absolutely refuses to accompany my daughter and I frankly do not blame him. What would you have done in a similar situation?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@Adelida2233 (1008)
• United States
7 May 08
If his name is not on the invitation, he is not invited. Im not sure how close your family is, but someone(not your daughter) could call and ask to clarify. Although by etiquette rules, if the name is not specifically on the invitation, they are not invited. While mistakes are made, I would just let this one be. My boyfriend would rather not go to the wedding, so I'm not familair with her boyfriend actually wanting to how. However if I were in her place, I would go by myself. You never know what the reasoning behind only iviting her was. It may have been cost and all unmarried partners were excluded.
@JoyfulOne (6242)
• United States
8 May 08
If it was me, I'd probably just let it slide and not risk stirring anything up with the Aunt and family. Some things are not worth it. It might have been a slight, or maybe not. Maybe it has more to do with cost per plate at the reception than anything else. (That stuff is SO expensive anymore!!) Your daughter is a family member, as well as the granddaughter...the boyfriend is not related at all (and if he was her husband, it would be an entirely different matter.) I wouldn't blame him for not wanting to go, because if somebody asked to clarify the invite, it might seem pushy, and that might make him feel even more uncomfortable. I doubt that they did it to intentionally snub him, or to get a rise out of your daughter. I hope she goes and puts on a smile, and acts like it doesn't bother her in the least. Irregardless, the wedding of a family member should be a happy time, and not worrisome over somebody getting excluded...or why. (Just my opinion if it was me...)
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@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
8 May 08
You are absolutely right, it is not about my family if is a bout the bride and groom and we will be going and wishing them all the best. and that is exactly what she is going to do go and smile and enjoy herself/ Thank you for a thoughtful reply
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@weemam (13377)
8 May 08
I think if I were your daughter pal , I would send a reply saying sorry but she can't make the wedding and leave it there , I don't think I would want to go if my partner weren't invited , I am a wee bit of a coward though xx
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@checapricorn (16065)
• United States
8 May 08
I will answer this base on my own point of view like if this happen to me, I will clarify to them if I can bring my boyfriend, I don't like them to be very judgmental that since they don't like him, they will not invite him. If they are really my family, they will accept the person I choose to be with and will respect my decision and willing to support me and be happy for me!
1 person likes this
• United States
8 May 08
it's actually good that the boyfriend "refuses" to attend - if he was invited (even out of obligation) the invitation would include his name, or "and guest". if there is already stress there, why would they want him at such a happy occasion? really the only option here would be for your daughter to attend with her daughter only, or to politely decline the invitation.
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@winterose (39897)
• Canada
8 May 08
I think it is rude, and I don't blame the boyfriend at all. But if they were limiting to actual married couples because of money or space or whatever now either of them will not know.
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