Must ur partner be in the same religion as you?

@5mayday (1053)
Norway
May 8, 2008 10:03am CST
I have a friend that called me for a few days ago and told me that he broke up with her long lasted GF. The reason was because his girlfriend could not the accept the christian part of him and he dont know how to make conversation with her anymore. I have had many friends that said it's better if the their other part is in the same religion, so they can understand them more. what do you think?
15 people like this
52 responses
@tthom64 (535)
• United States
8 May 08
I think it probably depends on how deeply felt the beliefs are. If it's just philosophical belief system, you might be able to get along with a partner and just share ideas. If relious practices and rituals are part of your daily routine and family heritage and your partner doesn't understand them, I think that would be harder. But I think the real problems come in when there are children. If one or either partner feels very deeply about their religion, it might be hard to come to agreement on how to raise the kids, and hurt feelings if the kid sides with one parent's belief over the other. All in all, I think that things go much smoother if both partners have the same basic belief system if not the same actual religion.
• Philippines
9 May 08
I agree with you tthom. It really depends on the situation, sometimes it is hard to get along with someone who has strong belief but there are instances that as long as they both respect each other's belief then it will turns out okay.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
13 May 08
I think there are several areas where couples should be relatively compatible. These are race, religion, education, age and physical things like height. If a couple has a huge diversity in these areas there is likely to be problems as these are areas which make people who they are. I know height seems a little off the wall but it is generally accepted that a man will be taller than a woman. As a tall woman, I am not comfortable with a man shorter than me. I married a guy who was 8 years younger and several inches shorter than me. Soon after we wed we started having problems because of age issues and that increased my discomfort in other areas as well. I think if this chap was not comfortable in not being able to share religious upbringings and life choices then he was right to break things off.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 May 08
I think it could be easier to be of the same religion but you Can make it work if you the two of you respect each other's views.I am sorry about your friend . I hope he finds the right person. But I hope if he finds a partner and she is a different religion he doesn't assume that she won't respect his religion.Tell him for me that there are many women who are not Christian but can and will respect him for being Christian. I am one of them. I am not Christian but I wouldn't dismiss an partner because he isn't of my religion.As long as he doesn't try to convert me I am fine with it.Wish him good luck for me. I hope he fines the one for him.
1 person likes this
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
10 May 08
It would be great for you and your partner to have the same religion becuase this means that you can go to church together. On the other hand, there is really nothing wrong with marrying someone of different religion. As long as you both respect your religious beliefs, there is really nothing wrong with going to differnt churches.
1 person likes this
@Elixiress (3878)
10 May 08
I am atheist and I would prefer my partner to be atheist or agnostic, but it is not a big problem if they are religious as long as they are not strongly religious or try and convert me. I have never been out with anyone religious, mainly because religion is getting less popular. I couldn't date a strongly religious person or someone that wants to convert me, I would feel pressured.
1 person likes this
@ryshawneo (405)
• Philippines
10 May 08
I don't think that having a different religion in a relationship is actually a hindrance for them to be happy or to stay together.. The best way, is to accept what is your partner's religion, don't and never talk about it.. If you do, you may end up arguing and may lead to breaking up.. For me, if you really love that person, his religion is not important.. what is most important is him by your side and you are happy loving that person.. Believe me, based on my experience, me and my husband have different religion but we are happy living together! :)
1 person likes this
@jayperiod (870)
• United States
8 May 08
I think that is very important. When two people have such differences in such a very important part of themselves, it will only make matters more difficult as time goes on. I have seen couple after couple that had very different religious ideas over time begin to grow impatient or dissatisfied with their partner. It becomes a focus for problems and carries over into other areas of their lives and interactions.
1 person likes this
• Belgium
8 May 08
I'm an atheist but I wouldn't mind having a religious partner. Conditions would be that they keep away from indoctrinating the children though. I wouldn't say my beliefs, she wouldn't say her beliefs. Allow the children to think for themselves. :)
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
9 May 08
Well, I used to think that it shouldn't matter, but I was thinking inside the box. I have matured now and I do think it does matter, not that both have the same religion but that if they have different religions they understand and respect the differences. It matters as well when one is more devote than the other, again it is important to communicate and understand, because even though it can work, it can also create situations that are apt not to be easily understood by the other. In the end, the fact that a couple has different religions is not the problem, but how they react when the other person's religious obligations are not accepted or understood. This is in general, because I think there are exceptions that are a bit more complicated to work out. For example if I followed my religion completely and that same religion had expectations not only for me but for my spouse as well that needed to be fulfilled as part of the whole, that would create a problem no matter how much I loved this person. What I mean is- this is only an example and exaggerated to explain what I mean - if my spouse's religion needed him to wake up at 3am and light 6 candles it would be fine with me. But if his religion specified that his wife had to be wake up as well and light another 6 candles , then I might have a problem with that if my religion was different and required different things.
@dig_it (27)
• India
9 May 08
It depends on the beliefs that each partner has. If they are liberal and tolerant of each others religions things could work out. But if one of the partners is fanatic about religion it could creat a problem. I know quite a few people who are really fanatic when it comes to their religion but on the other thing have plenty of vices and do almost all the things that their religion forbids. I am a Roman Catholic and i pray but i do believe that religion divides rathern than unites.
9 May 08
Hey 5mayday.. i dont think it matters what religion a person is, im catholic and husband is protestant, we married in Church of Scotland and had our kids baptised there, now the kids are going to a local catholic school. So really as long as the couple are happy, then i dont thinnk it should matter much.
1 person likes this
@amerexp (25)
• United States
8 May 08
Absolutely correct. The Bible (if you are Christian)specifically states two people are to be "equally yoked". There are many reasons for that, but you can see your friend has figured out the first one. Don't you think it's difficult to be in a 100% wholly committed relationship to another person if you can't share or be a part of something to your parter that presumably is the most important aspect of their life? No matter what religion you are? My first marriage ended up in divorce because we weren't equally yoked. I only have myself to blame because I knew better and should never have married him in the first place....I am remarried to a wonderful man who believes the same way I do, now. Our marriage isn't perfect, but it is as close as it ever could get! We are happy together, share the same goals, ideas, philosophies and faith and that is what makes our marriage work when so many others fail.
• India
10 May 08
One or the other day a person has to get committed to someone in life.It is important that we choose the person carefully by studying their character,lifestyle and qualities.But our society has never thought in that way, instead it has always given importance to the religion,caste a person belongs to.everybody in the world marries a person just to get rid of the loneliness and lead a happy life,but why should religion be a barrier in this?.I don't think religion can help understand each other it is just there for all of us to understand "GOD" as we don't believe in one god.We all have religions just because it was made ages ago as there were lots of differences between one's culture,tradition,lifestyle and status.i don't think religion should ever come between two person's heart.I will never look for the religion partner would belong to all i would expect from her would be her love,respect and care towards me and my likings.
@its07005 (50)
• Malaysia
9 May 08
yes.... my mother will go on a rampage and kill 50 people if she is not in the same religion... Puts a bit of a damper on the wedding does it not?
1 person likes this
• India
8 May 08
For me I would marry only someone of my same religion. The reason is that when it comes to ideological issues there are some that I would not compromise, and I expect the same from her. At the same time I would not encourage my sister to marry, say, a Muslim. Cos a muslim guy can marry another girl. But I don't want my sister's husband to have two or more wives. I would also find it difficult to marry a religious hindu cos religious are veg but I love eating non-veg.
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@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
8 May 08
Hi 5mayday, It isn't necessary that a couple be of the same religion, but it does depend on the people involved. If your religion is very important to you, then it might be best if your partner is of the same religion. I am open to all beliefs, and if my partner felt the same way, I don't think we would have a problem. Blessings.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
8 May 08
not at all. i prefer to have a partner who has different religion. i like differences. it opens my mind, extend my capacity to respect other beliefs.
1 person likes this
@meiteoh (416)
• Switzerland
8 May 08
To me, it doesn't matter what the religion is as long as the person is on the same tangent as me when it comes to faith. For example, he has to be god-fearing or at least believe in the existence of God but not necessarily a Christian. He has to believe in the idea of personal freedom and choice when it comes to practising one's faith and more importantly, he ought to be encouraging and not hold me back from things like going to church or etc. In exchange, I ought to respect certain "religious" things that he subscribes to, eg if he doesn't like the idea of me preaching to him, then I shouldn't. If he doesn't want to go to church, then I shouldn't force him just because *I* think he ought to go. I can ask but I don't want to nag. Ultimately, belief and faith in God is one made out of free will and choice NOT force or obligation. BUT I do know a lot of people out there who feel that it's just easy if your partner and you were on the same spiritual pathway and level, especially Christians.
1 person likes this
• South Africa
8 May 08
My wife and I are both christians. We raise our kids as christians and we live our lifes together as christians. We have a strong marriage and family. I believe this to not only be because we are the same religion, but because we are christians. You share so much more. I pray for all you out there who have not been saved. God Bless
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@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
8 May 08
Well, personally I think it's best if both parties share the same faith, not that they have too. But the bible does say not to be unequally yoked, I understand that means different things to different people. But in this case, it is important to your friend, and that is really all that matters.
1 person likes this