Is coming out of the closet really important?

It absolutely depends on where you live, and it becomes pretty difficult. In some places where there is freedom for everything, you can be out and get urself, ur right. But if ur in conserved places, with religious values, you better stay in the closet, i know some places, where they even kill....I am completely against that, but well what can we do ? But let ur family know about it, you already said you dont care what they think, but they should at least know, so just have ur own time and tell them when the time is right....

Hi there, I guess it depends on the country you are in and the culture you were born in. It would be dangerous to show people who you are if you live in a country or were brought up in a religion that frowns upon gays. Considering the fact that you survived your classroom disaster, I guess your society is quite liberal. So, I guess you can come out of the closet. It is up to you to decide if you want your parents to know. There is no hard and fast rule that a gay has to remain in the closet or barge out of it. It all depends on how favorable the surroundings are. Study your situation, your culture, the people around you, how they would accept you, and so on and so forth and then make a decision. Wish you luck!! :)

Well for me, I came out of the closet in 9th grade. I kissed my boyfriend at a diner while we were there with some close friends who knew we were gay, but there was someone from my Hish School there who I didnt know. The next day, everyone knew. It was hard for the next 2 years, but I wouldn't change it for ANYTHING. I hated hiding. I hated lying. I hated being afraid someone whould find out. It was HORRIBLE. I would never go back into the closet for ANY reason. Today, years later, everyone who knows me knows I'm gay and they probably also know my boyfriend. I'm not Matt anymore, I'm part of the Matt & Brian team. I dont go around telling everyone Im gay, but if they ask if I have a girlfriend or whatever - I'm not going to LIE. No way. Do what you want. Coming out is not easy, but its better for your mental health. I know guys my age who hide thier sexuality and they are emotional WRECKS. You couldnt pay me a billion dollars to lie about who I am. Ever again. Good luck,

Hi DarkDraiodoir, I think it should be your own choice, especially with your parents, tell them when you are ready. I'm sure it would depend a lot on where you live as well. I hope that things work out well for you. Blessings.

I think people now are open with these things and I can see that gays or lesbians are more accepted this time than before. It may be hard but I think its best that you let your family know so you could act naturally without limitations.

It really all depends on you and how you feel about it. Usually, the reasons why some gays come out into the open is because it is the best thing to do considering that their keeping their being gay a secret already has detrimental effects on ther health, mentally and physically.but if this is not the case with you and you don't really care one way or the other about it, then it's not something that you should bother yourself about. However, since you say your friends and classmates know about you, you have actually come out of the closet and you just wish to keep it maybe from your family. But nonetheless, you don't really need to flaunt your being gay when this can put you in danger. In the end you have to decide wjhether to completely come out into the open and i suggest you seriously think about it because that might be the best thing to do when you are finally ready to do so.

I believe, for most GLBT people, coming out provides them a sense of freedom and relief. The hiding is the worst part for many. But it is a personal decision. I think that if a person knows that they are going to get flack from their family, they should really wait until there is a reason to come out. For instance, if they find the person they wish to spend their lives with.

What is more important is how you accept yourself. I am a lady and have a lot of gay friends (both sides *smiles*) and I am comfortable with it. For me I think it is best if you are already open to others regarding this. I have met some people who I got some problems in day to day relationships just because he/she could not show his/her 'true colors'. It also made me uncomfortable because I tend to not act normally with people who are not in their comfort zones, so to speak. As you said, your family may have already been suspecting, but this is definitely normal!!! No harm if you would tell the truth, but at least it would help you put yourself and your family in a proper zone. (Not unless you suspect that your father would knock your head off if he gets to know this) Good luck! Bless you!

Hey there good luck with your parents.

I guess the real question is whether there is ever really going to be a time when we are ready to come out. My coming out was somewhat unplanned also. I was still married though my husband and I were more co-habiting than living in a marriage. I started dating a woman and after a few months hubby became suspicious and asked me whether Carolyn and I were having an affair. It was actually a relief to tell him 'yes'. Within an hour he had outed me to the senior pastor of our church and also his parents. I still didn't come out publically for about six more weeks but I sent letters to most of my friends. I wanted them to hear my side of the story not just my husbands with his injured pride. For me, coming out would have to have been one of the most liberating experiences of my life. Because the fact was that I was living a double life. Maintaining the appearance of being heterosexual amongst my church friends while secretly associating with lesbians. It was an extremely emotionally draining time for me. Coming out ended that. And to be honest the aftermath of coming out was not as bad as I expected. Yes, most of my christian friends dumped me like a hot potato as I expected... but I coped with it better than I expected. Of course, coming out publically is not for everyone. Like you say, you could live in a country where it would be dangerous to do so. The one thing I would recommend to a person considering coming out publically is that they first build a support network of people who accept them as a homosexual so that they have someone to support them when they do come out.

i think it's better to come out. you have to be true to yourself, and coming out is being one. it's not what other think of you but what you think of yourself. nobody can ever dictate what would make you happy. just do understand that some people might not take it positively because they don't know what you feel.