Do you look through your spouses wallet or purse when they don't know it?

@SusanLee (1920)
United States
May 15, 2008 12:45pm CST
Well do you? And if you do, what are you looking for. I for one don't. I didn't with my first husband because I was afraid of what I WOULD find, and then I would have to act on it. I suspected him of being a cheat, and if I found something then I would have to confront him....it was a big confusing mess. I don't with my second husband simply because I trust him and respect his privacy.
2 people like this
17 responses
@palonghorn (5483)
• United States
15 May 08
No, I don't unless he tells me to get something out of it, cash or credit card or something. And he never looks in my purse unless I tell him to get me something out of it or he asks for something and it's in my purse and I tell him to get it, and still then he usually brings me my purse lol
3 people like this
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
15 May 08
Mine does the same thing, he'll go all the way in the back room, bring it to me and have me dig through it.
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@jonesy123 (3949)
• United States
15 May 08
No. It's his and I respect his privacy. That said, I have looked through it with permission or let him know about it afterwards, when I needed something like money, credit card, rewards card, info from his license or insurance card. I also swap out the insurance cards, when the new ones come in. He would never do it otherwise. But I know where those items are located inside his wallet and would not 'explore' beyond that, lol. Now, he would never touch my purse. He's afraid of the contents, lol.
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@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
15 May 08
lol, I think a lot of husband are afraid of our purses. It's nice to see people posting that have respect for thier better-halfs privacy.
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@Pitgull (1522)
• United States
15 May 08
The only time I think to look through it, is when he hands it to me. If he's right there and I see it, I'll open it up and look at his id, because I think he's cute and he hates the picture, but he doesnt even keep his money in there. I have no reason to go into his wallet, he barely uses the thing. If I flipped through it and found something, I'd ask him about we. We both feel there should be no secrets in our relationship, we understand how the other is, and sometimes people are just curious. Regardless, there should be nothing in either of our stuff, that the other couldn't see...what secrets do we need to keep?
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@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
15 May 08
I like that, there should be nothing there that the other couldn't see. Unless it was a receipt for something nice he was going to give you for your birthday or anniversary right?
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@saundyl (9789)
• Canada
15 May 08
Maybe i'm just kind of a sharey person...or have nothing to hide. I tend to ask my boyfriend to get such and such out of my purse for me and he'll hand me his wallet and ask me to get such and such a card for him. Its not something id go through but The fact that we both ask the other to do that shows a trust.
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@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
15 May 08
You wouldn't just go through it to snoop.
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@saundyl (9789)
• Canada
16 May 08
na that wouldnt be very nice of me to do.
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
16 May 08
The bottom line is you trust him lol
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29152)
• United States
15 May 08
Yes, I will admit it did at one point. I was skeptical of him at that time. It was just my insecurity...
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@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
15 May 08
Nothing wrong with that, at least you had the guts to do it, you saw what I wrote, I suspected but wouldn't look cause I didn't want to have to deal with it.
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@jennysp8 (855)
• United States
15 May 08
Well, I can say that I have been married for almost three years and have never went through my husbands wallet. I trust him and it's more about understanding that what will happen will happen and if anything is wrong - it will come to light eventually. I wouldn't want him going through my stuff (not that I have anything to hide) as it is just a matter of respect. I must admit though...that when I was younger - like 18/19 years old and engaged to someone else - I looked through his stuff but I think that was more about my immaturity then anything else... Thanks!!
2 people like this
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
15 May 08
True, if there is something there that shouldn't be it will come to light. I know it did with my first husband. I have a thing about privacy too since mine was invaded real bad when I was kid.
1 person likes this
@cutepenguin (6448)
• Canada
16 May 08
I do, but mostly because he's a bit messy with his pockets, so I empty them out, put cash back into his wallet, file receipts, and make sure all of his cards are back in place. It's not necessary, because he doesn't care, but I worry that if I don't he'll lose or wash something important. Plus, I like for him to have a bit of cash on him so he doesn't use his credit card.
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@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
16 May 08
It's interesting to me that so many people are perfectly comfortable going into wallets and purses. I think it's a good thing. I just can't do it. If he tells me to get something out of it I will, but I won't dig any farther then I have to to find what is needed.
1 person likes this
• Canada
16 May 08
I never really thought about that. I wouldn't go through other people's bags, I think I've gone into my mom's purse once in my life - to get her cell phone out of the side pocket - and other than that, I don't go into other people's wallets/purses. Just my husband's. We don't really see our wallets as private, I guess.
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
15 May 08
Nope not with this husband, Because he has never given me cause not to trust him,unlike my first husband that Gave me plenty of reason and when i thought i would have found something in his wallet i not only would have looked i did look. many times actually and no i did not hide the fact from him.And he was still stupid enough to keep phone no. in it!
1 person likes this
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
15 May 08
Cathy, isn't it wonderful to finally have someone you can trust and have confidence in?
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@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
16 May 08
As we both know it is wonderful. The only question i have is this, If not for the misery of our first marriage would we appreciate what we have now as much or just accept it and take it for granted?
• India
16 May 08
no never. i have never ever done that. i think it is an intrusion of anyones privacy. Well if you do not trust someone, that is the last place you would find something really. No i would not look into someones wallet of purse, and would not like anyone to do that to me too.
1 person likes this
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
16 May 08
Until the response above this one, I never thought about the cell phone. I feel like you, for me it would be an invasion of his privacy, but I do think it's pretty cool for those that don't have a problem with it. I don't think my husband cares one way or the other. The only time he goes into my purse is to get the check book when he's ready to do the bills.
1 person likes this
@sunkissed (4330)
• United States
16 May 08
No, I have never gone through my partners wallet, but I do look on his caller i.D. on his phone to see who has been calling, because I too think at times he too may be cheating.
1 person likes this
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
16 May 08
I never thought of that, looking at caller ID, of course when I was married to my first we didn't use cell phones, I think the pagers were just getting big with the public. If I did think my husband now was cheating, which I have never felt any indication of it. I wouldn't know how to check his phone, all this stuff is so technical to me. I can operate my own cell, but that's it.
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@nilanym (184)
• Philippines
16 May 08
well, i look through my husband's wallet or purse just to get money to buy important things. once, i have gotten the money i tell him.
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
16 May 08
So your comfortable and have a lot of trust in your husband, your not afraid you might find something incriminating? If you found something questionable, would you confront him, or would you just forget about it and hope for the best?
1 person likes this
@b1jah2 (31)
• United States
16 May 08
I am a believer in tracking receipts, so if I see something on our bank statement, I look through his wallet for the receipt....I usually find it, but I fear that someday I won't and someone will be fradulently using my account!
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@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
16 May 08
I take it then that you have faith in your husband. I never thought about tracking receipts. What do you do, compare them against your checking account or credit card statement?
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@mikeysmom (2091)
• United States
16 May 08
no i do not do this. i am beyond the point in our relationship that i really care about what he is or isn't doing. it is sad to say but that is how it is. it has been almost 18 years and alot of water under the bridge so to speak. when i did care i would go through it once in a blue moon but if his wallet was around that meant he was too so it was not so easy to snoop.
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@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
16 May 08
Bless your heart, you sound like me many years ago. I was married for 19 years and he was always up no good. The bad thing was I really believed him when he would tell me he would stop doing this or that. I married too young, and was slowly conditioned to believe I had no worth, that all that mattered was what he wanted. If he wanted me and all the other then that's the way it would have to be, I didn't matter. I think we lose ourselves somewhere. But when I finally came into my own, I realized my self worth and I will never allow myself to be treated that way again. If I have to live alone and in a cardboard box, I will never allow anyone to mistreat me again. I pray God blesses you mightly
16 May 08
Sometimes I will, That because I wanna know if she has enough money to shopping & dinning. Mosttimes I won't do that, I trust her than myself.
1 person likes this
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
16 May 08
You trust her more than yourself? Uh oh...hope you don't have anything incriminating in your wallet. Just for curiousity sake, why don't you just ask her if she needs any extra money? You have me intrigued now, you have never dug around just to see what might be there? This isn't right, I'm drilling you when I didn't the others. Thanks for responding.
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
16 May 08
With my husband now, I dont because we have already established our trust with each other..And I know for a fact that he's not lying or cheating because I have known him and been friends for 20 years before we lived together.. So, there's no use to take a peek.. But with my first husband, oh boy, I not only sneek at his wallet but through his bag and all of his belongings..Why? Simply because he's been a cheat eversince..I just dont know why I married the guy..I found different calling cards of girls, many pictures of his extra marital affairs and most of all, things which belonged to those poor girls, remembrance of their illicit affairs..
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@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
16 May 08
Man oh man, what would you do when you found proof of his unfaithfulness? Did you kick him to the curb or did you let him talk you into not leaving him? that he would stop, you know all that slop they feed us. I ate the most garbage my exhusband would spoon feed me. And I didn't even like the guy. Thank-goodness that is way in my past. Glad your with someone you can trust and believe in.
@jer31558 (3683)
• United States
16 May 08
I used to some years back, and I was hunting money, she was better at saving it than me. Anymore though she could have a million dollars in there and I wouldn't know it.
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
25 May 08
Is that because you respect her privacy? Why wouldn't you do it now?
1 person likes this
@jer31558 (3683)
• United States
28 May 08
Well, to be honest, I can't put my finger on why. Somewhere over the years I just changed. Now, I save all my pennies for her...that makes her very happy, and she always has a really big smile when I hand them over to her. She even buys pennies from the grandkids...for silver. Go figure.
@nupats (3564)
• India
28 May 08
i dont bcoz i know him well and dont have one bit of suspect....sometimes when i dont have time to withdraw money frm th bank then i do tell him i need cash and he tells me to take out frm his wallet ...so thats the time i open his wallet...cheers