Girl Talk

@p1kef1sh (45638)
May 15, 2008 12:47pm CST
My daughter got back yesterday from University for the Summer holidays. I picked her up and we sang songs from the shows all the way home - a full 2 1/2 hours. When her mother got home from work it was straight into girl talk and that's the way that it has stayed. I said "met any nice boys". She replied "Nah. Not really". Same question from Mum " Well there is a guy. He's so hot Mum..." and so on. Apart from the obvious, what's her Mother got that I haven't? I am always being moaned at for not engaging in deep and meaningful chat, but when I do I just get "the look". Daughter's friend is here tonight. She has had highlights in her hair. I notice and get thanked. Mum notices and there is an in depth conversation. I'm not sure that I am really that interested really. But there is such a difference. So, am I alone? Should I worry, or just be relieved that I don't get involved.
14 people like this
34 responses
@ellie333 (21018)
15 May 08
LOL. I am the mum that gets all the girlie chats from my daughters and their friends. Dads asking daughters about boys will nearly always get that response as they still like to be thought of as daddys girl and sense that dad might want too much detail about this guy whereas mum just wants to know how he looks etc. You also say you are not sure whether you'd be interested anyway so they will sense this also. I wouldn't worry at all it is completely normal behaviour. Enjoy your time with your daughter home. Ellie :D
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
15 May 08
I shall enjoy her (even more when she gets a job and stops me worrying about how she will pay her rent next term) Ellie. Maybe your right. I don't much care what he looks like just so long as he treats her well - and I have some very old fashioned ideas about standards! Mid-typing this I have suddenly become very important. She lost all the music on her laptop. Suddenly Dad is very important in getting it back for her. LOL.
2 people like this
@ellie333 (21018)
15 May 08
See you just play a different role thats all. I bet you get a great big hug and a thanks sooooo much daddy when you've solved the problem and she has her music again. Ellie :D
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
15 May 08
Something like that Ellie. As I left her she was shrieking "Where are my films". We'd found them of course. She just hadn't looked in the right place.
@nannacroc (4049)
15 May 08
Just remember to have an open wallet and a closed mouth and you'll be fine. Continue to know that your place is in the wrong and let the mother daughter bonding continue while you continue bonding with your computer.
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
15 May 08
That is my usual pose Nanna. I'll do as you suggest. It's worked so far.
1 person likes this
@dorypanda (1595)
16 May 08
Yes, I totally agree. :)
15 May 08
Just be relieved you dont get involved!! You dont even wasnt to know the rest of the conversation! lol Atleast you had fun singing for the whole 2 1/2 hours!! Thats why its been so cloudy today then!! Just be lucky you have your daughter home. It is girl talk mainly, Im the same with my dad. I wont tell him stuff but would so easily tell my mum!! Its nothing against fathers, just mothers have been there, done that, got the t-shirt and easily help guide us the way!!
• Abernathy, Texas
15 May 08
There are different way to be be companionable and close and it seems you two have found yours!
@myklj999 (30396)
• Olney, Illinois
15 May 08
I'd get upset if I were you. Tell them like it is; you wear the bra in this family and you'd like to be included in the discussions too!
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
15 May 08
That's a good point. LOL. They'd just tell me to burn it and get liberated.
3 people like this
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
15 May 08
Be relieved you don't get involved. It's easier for girls to talk to their mothers as opposed to their dads, well that's what I think. My dad was not much of a talker and I don't think I told him anything that was going on in my life, until my husband asked him for my hand in marriage.
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
15 May 08
I know really. But it amuses me the difference in responses. We talk a great deal really and spend a lot of time together. Not just driving to and from University. We are going shopping tomorrow - for clothes!!
2 people like this
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
15 May 08
Oh how wonderful LOL are you going to buy anything for yourself too?
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
15 May 08
Not for me. I did some shopping the other day so this is for her. We are also taking a friend of hers, so I guess that I shall make myself scarce much of the time. I shall be the taxi. LOL.
1 person likes this
• Canada
15 May 08
Oh, P1key.... Just put on your conical bra outfit next time you ask her a girlie question and maybe she will respond like you are a girl. Or maybe, if you're shy, you could just get a long haired wig, if that makes you feel more comfortable. Then, you will have lots to talk and laugh about. Or put streaks in YOUR hair. If ya wanna talk the talk, you gotta walk the walk, baby.
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
15 May 08
Hmm, I wonder if she has seen the picture of him in his conical bra? Now that should strike up a discussions between the two. love your answer by the way AnnieOakley1. Gave me quite a good laugh have a good day.
@p1kef1sh (45638)
15 May 08
She hasn't seen the picture, but she has sen and handled the bra Annie. Think that I'll leave it at though. The bra is only for those that understand!!!! I try here, but I know that I don't walk that walk, and probably never will. Not as long as I have a dingly dangly! "Now put that knife down. Annie, NO. HELP"
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
15 May 08
It would be weird to see a man just wiggling it down the steet..walking the walk. So p1ke what are you going to tell your grandkids if they ever get told the story or see a picture of it? You could always say it was a Halloween costume.
@MsTickle (25051)
• Australia
19 May 08
I think you're doing really well. Your a really good bloke...but don't sweat it. You can feel relieved to be honest but they shouldn't get moaned at for not engaging in deep and meaningful chat when they lock you out. Deep and meaningful is better as a one on one thing as well. I've never had a bloke who I was able to get into deep and meaningful with and the women friends ..... well less said the better.
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
19 May 08
Thank you. I just want to do my best and try to understand. I have certainly had many deep and meaningful conversations with women, even some on this site. But there comes a time when being a man kicks in, and I stop understanding. LOL.
1 person likes this
@Aingealicia (1906)
• United States
18 May 08
P1kef1sh, Don't get involved, run away, have you ever really listened to the girl talk...I am just kidding. I think it is awesome that you want to have this bond with your daughter. That is an amazing feet most fathers don't bother with. Relationships with daughters and sons and mothers and fathers are always different. Her mom has dating advice, obviously she did well in picking you, I am sure your daughter respects that because she sees how as a father you are. The hair thing, well I don't know I talk to all my friends about hair and make up when I need to. Not when it is unneeded however I also have friends who wear dresses and are not female. Don't worry about it, the time will come and maybe you can get your nails done together as well. Manicures are a great way for bonding. I don't mean that in a bad way either or mean. Ainge
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
18 May 08
You have a male friend over here who has been know to wear a bra!! I see how it is though and we are in fact very close and can chat about pretty much anything. This morning it was about cooking Rice Krispie cakes - such depth of conversations. LOL.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 May 08
Aww Pike, while Dads are wonderful and our heroes there is nothing like a mother and daughters relationship. Mothers are more sun when it comes to talking about girl things. I would not fret if I were you. You as a father take care of other things safety, security, you are the one we run to when we need a hug and a kissed booboo. When a daughter hurts is when you need to be ready with open arms.
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@p1kef1sh (45638)
15 May 08
I do those things, never fear. I am quite happy really, just amused at the different replies defending on the gender of the parent. We've just had a "Group Grope" (cuddle nothing funny) - Mum, daughter and myself. We are all smiling.
1 person likes this
@Pitgull (1523)
• United States
15 May 08
If you've ever tried discouraging her from boys, conversation with you there, will probably stay as is. Besides, when you let us girls open up, remember the girls you used to have as friends, we'll tell you everything. Do you want to know all that about the guys she's interested in or why? Or if you want to know more about what your daughter is like, who she's drawn to, what type of people she likes to be around, there are other ways to open connections. She's probably sparing you some details you don't want to hear anyway.... You could always talk about the shows you both like, that can turn to deep conversation... don't fret, you probably don't want to hear it anyway
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45638)
15 May 08
We are very close really and get on very well. I think that you are right though. She probably thinks that I don't need to know everything. She's probably right.
@dorypanda (1595)
16 May 08
They probably assume that as you're a man (or rather a male fishy) that you just wouldn't be interested if they elaborated on whatever it was that they were talking about. I don't remember talking much to my Mum OR Dad about girls things, such as boys and hair etc, I usually spoke to my sisters about that kind of thing, they weren't interested but they were too young to really take any notice or care what I was saying. There's no need for you too worry about it, it's perfectly normal for women to behave like that, me and my sisters do that with our Dad sometimes too, we'll be chatting about hair or clothes or something like that and he'll try to join in the conversation but it's not really something that we'd want to talk to him about as he doesn't wear womens clothes and doesn't dye his hair. However, my Dad is quite 'girly' as he's got two sisters, one older and one younger than him and they're both 'girly girls', as in they were make-up all the time and have their hair 'done', whereas me and my sisters don't generally wear make-up and we do our own hair too. So just to confirm, there's no need for you too worry, just be grateful that your daughter actually speaks to you. :)
@p1kef1sh (45638)
16 May 08
She talks to me alright Dory. I shall have to be happy in my ignorant state. But your Dad and I are very similar in this respect. We live in houses full of females most of the time. Who is there to talk "male" to us. That's why we sit so quietly in the corner, afraid to open our mouths.
1 person likes this
@dorypanda (1595)
16 May 08
You should have an imaginary friend to talk to, I've got one, you can borrow her if you like, she's a bit of a tomboy and will talk 'man' talk to you but she's on holiday at the moment, let me know if you want her to pop round and I'm sure she will, you never know, she might bring her imaginary boyfriend with her too. :)
@p1kef1sh (45638)
16 May 08
How will she talk "man" to me. I'm a fish? Men usually have long rods with lines and hooks on the end. Got to watch out for them. Or we'll end up battered and passed off for cod down the chippy.
• Philippines
16 May 08
i am quite close to my dad as i grew up with him. and i spend a lot of time with him including when we bake/cook something together or do barbeque and do sports together. while i was growing up and became teenager and now college im starting to hang out with my bf i dont really talk much to him anymore, it just makes me feel awkward. or maybe because i fear that he may not understand as to why i felt emotional over some stuff that well.. men dont really get emotional with.:/ i talk to my friends more about personal stuff and just talk about studies and news with my dad. he visits me occassionally and then we talk about what he read or if hes watch a new series on tv stuff like that. but if its about boys, i dont talk to him about it:/
@p1kef1sh (45638)
16 May 08
Men do get emotional. Just not with their daughters. I can understand the boy thing though. We want you to be safe and not subject yourselves to some low life jerk - which of course is pretty much any boy that isn't the one that we would have chosen for you. LOL. Maybe that's why you don't tell us about them........ Welcome to myLot.
• Philippines
16 May 08
thank you for welcoming me, im just 21 hours old:)here hehe:) anyway yah i do realized that men get emotional however most times they keep it to themselves. but there are things that women and men are not on the same emotional level i think..well maybe im just a cry baby and then my dad dont get why i get moody or sad or all of a sudden about some stuff:p
@p1kef1sh (45638)
16 May 08
Don't worry about crying. I do it often. Makes me no less a man though. At least I don't think so.
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
15 May 08
Well you tried that all that counts, but don't feel bad. She is at a time in her life that it is easier to talk to mum then dad about certain things. Just keep as your doing don't change anything becuase it still lets her know yor interested in her life and when she wants or feels like talking about it to you you will be up to date about things. She is still daddy's little princess and she will need you and your advice from time to time. Just go with the flow as the saying goes and be there when she needs you and on the sidelines waiting when she doesn't atleast she will know your there for her and that will make her feel more secure and loved if possible.
@p1kef1sh (45638)
15 May 08
We get on fine really and I know that she gets a better reaction from her mother than from me about certain things. It just make me laugh that her Mom and I can ask the same question and get such wildly different replies. Vive la difference as the French say.
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
15 May 08
That good anyhow. I am probably undoubtedly the same way with my parents. We just think mom understands more since she is also a woman and been there done that sort of thing. It is good to have a good relationship with your kids glad you do.
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Thanks P1ke for the best response, I really appreciate it. Here's hoping you have a good night.
@cortney09 (1346)
• United States
17 May 08
I figure that is' just a girl thing. You should probably be thankful that she doesn't go into detail like she does with her mom. I mean you might be there for hours, if she did.
@p1kef1sh (45638)
17 May 08
LOL. Yes I might well be. They go into the kitchen and talk for ages. I prefer the quick fix solution. Tell me the problem, let's think about it for a couple of minutes, and bam - there's your solution.
@cortney09 (1346)
• United States
18 May 08
See, all the more reason for you not to worry about it. I mean that would not in any way be a quick conversation.
@mummymo (23707)
16 May 08
Aww p1ke my darling I know you are an exceptionally caring and sensitive man - as does everyone who knows you , including the Boss and the Boss in waiting! I don't think it is anything to do with anything other than the fact that you are a man - and haven't experienced the same things as Mum has! Come here and let mummy give you a big hug and make it feel better! Thats it , don't cry sweety. To be honest I would probably be a bit relieved - there is girly talk and then there is girly talk and some of it may make you wince! lol If I were you I would be very happy and proud that you have a fantastic relationship with your daughter! xxxx
@p1kef1sh (45638)
16 May 08
Thank you for the cuddle. That's much better. I am happy and proud Mummymo. I am. It just amuses me that different people get different responses to the same question. Bit like here really. I hope that you are feeling a wee bit better today. I was worried about you last night.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23707)
16 May 08
It is funny how we all respond differently depending on who is asking the question isn't it! I am feeling a bit better sweety - I got about 3 hours sleep and think I may even manage a nap today! lol Thank you so much for the story and kiss and for your beautiful compliments - I promise to try and live up to them! Love and hugs xxx
@SViswan (12071)
• India
16 May 08
She probably felt you wouldn't like to know any details. And sounds like your daughter has different comfort levels with you and her mother. That's great...she's comfortable with both parents....just on a different level...and that'd cool...you get to know the bigger stuff...and your wife gets to know the details. Or she likes to be daddy's little girl with you...and be one of the girls with her mother! hmmm..did YOU mention details of your new bra with her?
@p1kef1sh (45638)
16 May 08
She saw the bra and accused me of cutting up one of hers. Hah! I bought my own. LOL. I know that I cannot change things, and I am not really sure that I want to. I'm taking her shopping later on. We shall spend most of the time in clothes shops I have no doubt!
@SViswan (12071)
• India
16 May 08
lol..I bet you are (going to be shopping for clothes)! hmmm...I have a doubt now....did you cut up one of hers? Or did you really go out and buy one?:P Btw....did she see the pic of you in the bra? She would have had a good laugh if she did!
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
16 May 08
You are not one of the "Girls" are you?? then you have no business in the "girl" conversations.. It is a "girl" thing and you would not even begin to understand it.. I can't even believe that you thought that you had access to the private "girl" conversations.. Now just be quiet and pay the bills, and take out the garbage, and do all of the "man" things but stay away from the "girls" conversations.. If you have to ask about it, then you surely don't understand it.. It is a club with "NO boys allowed" Have a good one and enjoy them from afar.. Donna
@p1kef1sh (45638)
16 May 08
LOL. Lectures lectures lectures. You didn't see me in that bra then?
• United States
16 May 08
Oh, yes, I did..lol
• Regina, Saskatchewan
16 May 08
Be relieved, believe me! You don't want to know Dad, you really don't. As long as mom is in the loop you're little girl is fine! Too much girl talk engaging you and all the mystery of womanhood would be gone from your life and then what would you do? Life would get really boring friend! Or else you'd have to come out of the closet and start REALLY being one of the girls - and I rather think that you get enough of that right here on the lot, don't you? LOL
@p1kef1sh (45638)
16 May 08
I can't tell you what was suggested to me off line yesterday - but it reminded me about why I was pleased to be male. But a male that loves women especially the ones on here. I'm just too darn nosy - must be my feminine side.
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
16 May 08
As nova would say "I resemble that remark"! lol
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
15 May 08
Well honestly, the conversation that starts, "Met any nice boys?" and then, "Well there is a guy and he's hot..." isn't exactly the start to a deep and meaningful conversation. Neither is hair. I think in both cases maybse she doesn't realize you may be interested. Maybe by deep and meaningful, she means how you and her mom met, or things you did as kid, tough things you went through. What it was like for you when she was born. The best thing is to talk about it - a deep and meaningful conversation. Let her know that you'd like to have those deep and meaningful conversations she talks about but that you need some coaching about how to begin them. Or even exactly what it means. Asking might endear you to her. Let her know how you feel about the conversations you have with her - the difference. Good luck !!!
@p1kef1sh (45638)
15 May 08
My real point is that the responses to the same question are so different. We get on really well and don't have a big problem about anything. But thanks.
• Abernathy, Texas
15 May 08
Sounds like you do, there are many different ways of bonding. I guess my response came from your mentioning that she complains you guys don't have any deep and meaningful conversations. And hey, you're welcome - you sound like a great - and well loved dad! I love that you sang all the way home.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 May 08
No amount of reading womens magazines is going to get you the same attention as a mom. You notice highlights which is more than I can say for a lot of members of your species but do you really care if they used foil or a cap to apply them? Do you want to spend hours listening to your baby girl go on and on about how hot some guy is and how cute his buns look in jeans? I wouldn't think so, and neither would your daughter. Consider yourself lucky that you are being spared the migraine and the details.
@p1kef1sh (45638)
15 May 08
True. I don't really mind I just find it amusing that the same questions attracts such different replies. Now, where's my Cosmo?
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
15 May 08
You are a riot P1ke..cosmo indeed..lol I just love mylot and it's fabulas members. They always make a dreary day better.