What will you do in this situation?

India
May 16, 2008 12:46pm CST
hey people i just want to ask you people what will you do in a situation when two of your very good friends have a fight they say to you to take one's side then then what to do in this situation of dilemma? will u take anybody side or you will be diplomatic?
4 people like this
22 responses
@amitpuri (457)
• India
16 May 08
Hey Anshul that depends on the two friends having the fight and what i think is that you should go with the friend who is right at his/her place.It is for sure a great dilemma to choose either of the two but if you really have to choose one then i think you should go with the friend who is not having any fault. Yep if in case both are responsible for the fight or you don't want to take anyone's side then just stay away from their matter.Let them to decide their problem and you really have no need to utter a thing about that.If you really want to take the side then go with the innocent friend.
1 person likes this
• India
16 May 08
you are partly right !! As in this case no one is innocent !! Both are culprits but think that they both are right 1! then what should i do now?
@amitpuri (457)
• India
16 May 08
i think you should remain ignorant then, you don't really have to do anything and just let them solve their problem.You should stay away and letting them to decide about that thing only.
• India
16 May 08
I don't thing so that will make the matters even worse! I think its not a good idea to remain ignorant!
17 May 08
well its a very difficult situation to face in one's life......many of us come across such question in our day to day life....well it all depends upon the situation, the cause of your friends dispute....if i were in such kind of situation i would have looked at the situation with a neutral vision and try to figure out where things went wrong and first of all try to solve the dispute...and if i am not successful in my attempt i will definitely support the person who i feel is right among the two....i believe if we look upon such kind of situation with an independent and neutral outlook then we will definitely chose the right path....
1 person likes this
• India
17 May 08
hmm... i think you had the best reply but even then i won't be taking side as in this case there is fault from both the sides!! thanks for replying!!
18 May 08
i am really thankful to you that you really liked my views....i think anshul you should not talk about it with your friends right now. at this time both of them will not carefully listen to you. time is the world's best healer. you should wait for a few days now and wait for the right time and talk calmly with your friends and try to solve the dispute. i am sure you will be successful in the attempt.
• India
18 May 08
ye man !! i will try to do that surely!! thanks for your precious advice! i owe you one!!
@kun2349 (23464)
• Singapore
16 May 08
No matter which side u take, the other party is bound to be unhappy and spoil the friendship in the end.. but u cant remain neutral too, because both might turn things round and get u involved too.. So the best thing is to wait for them to calm down and explain the whole situation.. Explain in a way that u do side the both of them.. hehe
• India
16 May 08
yes i think this is the best thing to do in this situation
@kun2349 (23464)
• Singapore
17 May 08
Yup.. Because when they are worked up, nothing will make sense to them.. So it's best to wait for them to calm down and solve everyhting amicably ^_^
• India
17 May 08
yes letting the storm past will be better than facing it!!
• United States
16 May 08
Its not good to take one side over the other unless you know for certain that one of them did something that you would consider very not friend like or if it was hurtful to you as well. If you do take sides then in the end they will make up and both be mad at you. You should just tell each of them that you care for them both and you will be there for them but that your not willing to give up on the others friendship or talk bad about the other person just because they are not getting along. If either of them are good friends to you then they will both accept and respect your decision
• India
16 May 08
yes i think you are right in saying that i should not take anyone's side.As it could make me enemy for both if they make up and in the end i will be th sole loser and i also agree with you to tell them to take care of themselves but.. what if the fight gets over the limit? shouldn't i stop them?
• United States
17 May 08
walk away from both of them until they knock it off. i got stuck in a fight between two friends recently and wished to remain neutral between them:i was rewarded by both turning on me.
• India
17 May 08
hey thats just aweful that they both turned on you!! as you had nothing to do with them!!
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 08
yea,it was very sad to me.
• India
17 May 08
if they were your friends they should have seen your sadness!
1 person likes this
@fifileigh (3619)
• United States
18 May 08
i try to be diplomatic. or sometimes i just stay out of it.
• India
18 May 08
being diplomatic is right but staying out of it? i am not sure about that?
@fifileigh (3619)
• United States
20 May 08
sometimes i would rather stay out of it and let them handle their own problems without getting involved...
• India
20 May 08
ok thanks for the advice and for being here!!
• United States
17 May 08
I would take the side of the one I felt was in the right. If there was no right side to take I'd take a giant step back and tell them to work it out themselves. The ones who can leave you out of it and not try to force you to take a side are the ones who are your friends.
• India
17 May 08
but if i think someone is right even if it may be wrong and i take ones side then what will happen to my friendship with other?
• United States
17 May 08
You need to do what your moral code tells you to do. If you really think one is right and one is not and feel you must say so , say it. If you think one is right and one is not and feel no need to say anything, don't. A real friend can handle hearing what you really think or feel. They may not like it and it may hurt their feelings but they respect your truth if they respect you.
• United States
18 May 08
diplomatic for certain. i wouldn't want to lose both friends in the process. i usually look for something within the problem that can help resolve it and try to show them that thing. doesn't always quite work...but it does once in a while.
• India
18 May 08
thats a good one too !! i will try to look for a certain thing in this!
@roanne05 (1291)
• Oman
18 May 08
just don't take sides. explain to them you don't like to take sides simply because both are your friends.
• India
18 May 08
thanks for the advice!!
@rhettaa (214)
• United States
18 May 08
I try to never take sides unless someone is being physically or emotionally abusive. I used to constantly be sent to calm things down between friends who were getting too close to physically fighting because I had and still have the reputation of not taking sides and I'm pretty good at calming people down. But if they're not coming to blows, i stay out of it.
• India
18 May 08
thats what i am trying to do!! just get them down before anything wrong happens!!
@tessah (6621)
• United States
17 May 08
ive been in this situation.. and told both parties that if either of them even had the nerve to try to put me in the middle of it, and force my loyalties to choose which one of them i cared about the most.. id drop them and not speak to either of them again.
• India
17 May 08
its just pity on the ones who have to go through it as you get pulled from both sides !!!
• United States
17 May 08
I would not take either side I would simply tell them both "I am friends with the both of you. You two need to work your differences out amongst yourselves" I personally wouldn't want to lose either one of them as friends just because I took one side and not the other. I think that is the right thing to do plus I don't want to get caught in the middle of their fight.
• India
17 May 08
yes this is the case with me too.. i also don't want to lose any of them!! i am also doing this thing!!
• Philippines
17 May 08
I will listen to both and make them friends again
• India
17 May 08
thanks for the advice!!
@Hatley (164220)
• Garden Grove, California
17 May 08
I would weigh the fight in my mind and suggest ways to make up without being on either side.Yes I would be diplomatic and try to get them to come to some sort of agreement or a compromise that both friends can live with. Try to come up with several solutions and throw them out on the floor to be discussed and let them decide for themselves.
• India
17 May 08
yes trying to get a compromise will be good!! if it doesn't happen let them do it themselves!
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
16 May 08
LOL honestly..I'd tell them to grow the hell up! this isnt grade school and I'm not 8 yrs old..I have low to no tolerance for that sort of childish behaviour..Seriously...
• India
16 May 08
yeah lol but its true!!! thanks 4 being here!!
• Philippines
16 May 08
I would not take on anybody side. Stay neutral. Taking a side will say that you are being biased in the situation. Talk to them as a friend and clear to both sides that you will not take sides on the situation. Try to reconcile them as a good friend
• India
16 May 08
ok! thanks for being here!
@spalladino (17921)
• United States
16 May 08
The worst thing you can do is to take sides or try to act as a mediator. Let your friends work it out and tell them that you are staying out of it because it's not your fight and you don't want to be in the middle of it. Try to stay away from both of them if you see trouble coming and, hopefully, they will work it out and you won't get hit by any flying debris.
• India
16 May 08
hey good advice why should i get my hand in the boiling water if i can wait for it to get normal.
• Bahamas
16 May 08
I would not under any circumstance take sides. They are both my friends and i would not want to be put in the middle. I would instead take the role of peacemaker.I would let them both know that i respect them both and would like for them to at least try to work things out.And if they respect me they'd at least try to understand were i'm coming from.
• India
16 May 08
yes thats what i thought of doing! As getting between them will not be good for me.
@INGA832 (1114)
• Russian Federation
16 May 08
In my case I would take part of no one. And if they are real friends they should understand.
• India
16 May 08
ok!! thanks for being here!! i think you just explained the whole thing in one line!! well done!
@chrislotz (8200)
• Canada
26 Jul 08
I would not take sides in my firends arguments, no matter what. If they want to fight about something I say leave me out of it. And if they don't leave me out of it, then they aren't true friends to me either. I don;t think it is fair of them to expect you to take sides and I would tell them that. If they don't want to be in each others company but want to be in yours, then they have to come to some kind of compromise about it. If they aren't grown up enough to do that, then maybe you need to rethink your friendship with the both of them. It is their problem, not yours.