Is having three kids, too many kids?

@cream97 (29152)
United States
May 17, 2008 8:09am CST
First time, I checked, 3 was only considered a few...1,2,3 are a few...456 are considered some....7,8,9 and above is considered several... So why is having three kids too many? I know it may be of financial issues, but still that is not the entire reason.. What is your honest opinion on this?
17 people like this
65 responses
@jennifer611 (2514)
• United States
17 May 08
I think that how ever many the parents choose to have is their choice and their responsibility so it shouldn't matter. I have 3 kids and one on the way. it didn't matter how many I had, I always had to hear someone give me their opinions on it. "you don't need to have a baby", and just so many unwanted opinions that didn't even matter. I remember my sister inlaw saying "well I hope you don't expect me to be happy for you". which was the rudest thing ever, but who cares, this was MY baby and she didn't matter. she was just jealous because she can't have kids anymore... anyways, this is baby #4 (the last one unless God has other plans which I think not) and I haven't really heard the negative talk from people, that's probably because I am no longer surrounding myself around those people anymore. I've had enough.. but this is MY choice to have this baby and no matter how many I have I'm gonna love them all and take care of them all. and until someone else is paying my bills and having to take care of my kids then they can't tell me anything. which by the way I never ask anyone to baby sit, my kids are with me 24/7 except for when the 2 oldest are in school. I don't depend on anyone to help me with anything. even my own mother has never taken them over night or even for a few hours (she has for my neices and nephews though).. but I think that how ever many the parents choose to have is up to them and when they feel they have enough then they have enough. only we (the parents) know what is too many.
3 people like this
@cream97 (29152)
• United States
17 May 08
Cheers to you! I agree with you 100%. I can never begin to tell you how many times that I have had people tell me the same things, like they did to you... To make it so bad, it be people that I don't even socialize with. They just have to put their two cents in....I believe that it is the parents decision as to how many children that they should have. Not others, whom did not make this baby. Why do they care anyway? It isn't like they have to provide for them. The father and I do all that and more... I never even ask anyone to take care of my kids. I do this myself... And the father too.. I try my best to not be around them that hate on me like they do. Yes, my sil tried to pull that game on me. In so many words, she tried to tell me, that I don't need a fourth child... Who do she thinks she is? I don't tell her, how her husband and her should have another child. She only has one child. He is seven years old. I have had enough of people saying all these mean things to me. It is time for me and you to fight back with our words!
2 people like this
@minnie_98214 (10558)
• United States
17 May 08
Well if three is too many im in trouble lol. I dont think three is too many if you can support them. I mean have 10 if you can afford to I say. I have needed some help ever so often but mostly we have taken care of our own.
3 people like this
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
17 May 08
Three is too many for me. I have two and that was enough for me. My parents had 6. My grandparents had 8 on one side and 13 on the other. I think that people should have as many kids as they want and are able to afford.
2 people like this
@cream97 (29152)
• United States
17 May 08
Yes they should!
2 people like this
@Gollywog (1092)
17 May 08
I have 4 children, and I have 4 grandchildren! I would have had more if I could have afforded to, but time is essential! you need to have the time to spend with them.
@sisterjinx (1135)
• United States
17 May 08
I don't think that 3 is too many. I had three kids myself. I will say that the way the economy is now and the way the world is today that I might not be so inclined to have so many kids today but that is a personal thing. I had three kids and I love them all dearly. It was expensive and there were days that it was very difficult with three so close to the same age but I wouldn't have traded any of it for the world.
2 people like this
@34momma (13891)
• United States
17 May 08
i think when it comes to having children three is a great number. I personally have three wonderful children. two boys and my little girl. you should be able to have as many children and you can mentally handle, as well as afford.
@batgal (18)
17 May 08
Well, I have 3 kids & I wouldn't have it any other way. I guess it depends on the individual person as to whether they can handle them or not. Im on my own with them as Im separated..but my oldest is 15..so he helps me a bit. But I can tell you now, if I was younger I would most certainly have another one. I LOVE BEING A MUM!!!
2 people like this
@sturner03 (326)
• United States
17 May 08
My mom had 12 kids so any numbers safe lol. I think honestly there is no right answer. Each family and whats good for them and what they can handle is differant. You have 2 and try it out, if you like it nad think you can handle more, you do it when the times right. It's not just financial i know from having 2 that it is a HUGE resposibility. They become your life. And you always are watching them, and doing things, and its very hetic.
2 people like this
@gemini_rose (16268)
17 May 08
I have four kids, I do not think this is too many, although they are certainly hard work. I do know that although I love my kids dearly, I feel that it is hard to give them each the quality time they need and deserve from me on my own. Everything we do is as a family and sometimes my kids just want to be with me on their own and it never happens because the others get annoyed if they think that I am going to spend time with one. So I think that having 2 or more kids does make it hard in certain ways.
2 people like this
@kaysue4 (951)
• United States
17 May 08
I have 4 boys and they are 18, 17, 15, and 12. For five days my older two are the same age. YEARS ago, I am doing a family tree, families used to have 12 or more children because they had farms and had to run the farms also. They had enough food to feed everyone and made money by selling farm food and meat as well. Now, people really don't have the farms and due to money issues or even health issues don't have as large of families anymore. You also have to take into the fact that you can put your health or the babies health in risk in SOME cases. It is up to THAT family how many children are too much for them. I knew 4 was my limit.
2 people like this
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
16 Jun 08
I am the eldest of four siblings and as far as I know, there wasn't any problem concerning our number, then and now. I've been married for more than five years now and God has gifted us one loving daughter who is turning three this year. I still could remember how my husband and I were so anxious to have a child. And when she finally came to us, we were extremely happy. Personally, I feel that the number of kids a couple wants to have largely depends on them. As long as they could feed them, support them, take good care of them, and send them to school, it poses no problem for me. But my husband and I decided that we'll be raising two kids; preferably one girl and one boy. This is even before we got married. According to our plan, we still got one child to wait for. Honestly and I'm not being a hypocrite, we don't do any family planning method and we don't use any form of contraceptives. But still, I believe that my daughter's age now is ideal for planning on our second child. However, aside from the fact that prices of basic commodities have soared high, she is going to attend school in two years time. And I've got to admit that we're still low on cash for her education. At present, I'm the only one working for my own family because my husband has no stable job. Sad to say that even my salary isn't sufficient for the three of us and most of the time, my net pay goes to paying a partial amount of all our outstanding obligation, plus house rental, public transportation fare, groceries including milk for our daughter. These are the very reasons my husband and I decided that one of us is going to work abroad. It's quite timely because the company I'm working with right now is experiencing a financial crisis. They are planning to close shop but naturally, they are going to pay us for our years of service with them, and this is what we call locally as "separation pay." We're hopeful that by next year, I'm already working in another Asian country and we will be able to purchase our own house and lot and save up for our daughter's education, with God's help and mercy.
1 person likes this
@kellys3ps (3726)
• United States
18 May 08
I have six kids - so to me, 3 seems like very few! I think each family needs to make the decision as to family size for themselves. For some people, no children is perfect, while for others 18 is the perfect size. People who have lots of children often make the choice to forgo certain purchases in order to have a larger family - we don't have a big screen TV or a fancy house, but our house is filled with love.
1 person likes this
@IddiKlu (176)
• United States
18 May 08
The first world countries are all running at below replacement quantities. So, living in one of those, have all the kids you can have, if you can afford it. The third world countries on the other hand, are baby machines. People have no other entertainment and are too poor or too dumb (or both) to limit their offspring. 2.1 kids on average replace populations without growth or loss. But many people choose not to have kids to have a better life. Kids are expensive.
• India
18 May 08
You cant really say 3 is too many. If you can each one of them enough time and support I guess 3 is fine. But still I feel 2 kids are enough in a family.
1 person likes this
@tentwo67 (3382)
• United States
18 May 08
It feels like too many for me, although I would not presume to judge the choices that other families make. Times have definitely changed, I think, because the family size seems to be smaller these days. In my own family growing up, if my parents had thought three was too many, I wouldn't have a sister. In current times, though, I firmly believe that I will not have even a second child unless I can afford to raise both the way I believe in, which includes private school. Public schools are probably great in some towns, but not so much where I live, and so private school is a necessity for me. Three, and probably even two, is too many for me also in that we only have a 2 bedroom house. I guess we could figure out a way to squeeze it together, but I would rather not add another child to my son's room, which is not large. I mean no judgment to anyone who chooses to have a larger family. Freedom of choice is one of the greatest things about living in a free society. For me, though, I can't imaging having more kids without a whole lot more income.
@faith210 (11232)
• Philippines
18 May 08
Hi cream97! My grandparents have 9 living children and 2 passed away when they are still babies. I think the probable reason for not having more children nowadays is because most couples are working and they can't give enough quality time for their children and well, you just mentioned the financial downside of having a lot of children nowadays. One more reason that I can think of is having more children will somehow affect the woman's body. Pregnancy should be spaced with 2-3 yust my humble opinion on this matter. Take Care and God Bless! Happy Mylotting!
• United States
17 May 08
Wow. This is definitely a new one for me, both sets of my grandparents had 5 children. My mom had that dream of a big family as well but had to stop at 2, and adopted 1. Personally, I'm expecting my third child right now and I would like to have 1 or 2 more if my body will allow me to. Children are a gift from God and we should treat it as such! In my opinion, the number of children that you decide to have is up to the two individuals having them. The entire situation should be considered because too many people judge without knowing the whole story.
1 person likes this
@phoenix25 (1541)
• United States
17 May 08
It depends on the family. Some people want a lot of kids. Some people don't want kids at all. I am not one of those people that wanted a lot of kids and I always knew this. I am good with 1. That is plenty enough for me. I could not afford to have more children even if I wanted to. Some people can afford to have 8 kids, so whatever floats their boat is cool with me. I am just glad I didn't do what my aunt did and had 3 kids for her husband who then left her so now she is a single mom with 3 kids to take care of by herself.
@kezabelle (2980)
17 May 08
I think too many depends on the person, we are planning a third baby in a couple of years id have one now but im not allowed my consultant has been really strict on that, anymore than three will be too many for me il be happy with three. Yet I know mothers with 5/6 and they would love more some say oh no anymore is too many and theres some who think more than one is too many all personal preference.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 08
Hello! Cream! I personally dont think that 3 kids is too many. But for me it is. I'm to worried about how just 2 would turn out. i have one and would like another one. I dont think I could handle being responsible for another human being. To me I dont think its about finacial issues. I just want to do a good job and be thorough in my parenting!
1 person likes this