Does anyone here have experience with depression?

@spalladino (17923)
United States
May 17, 2008 11:28pm CST
My husband served two tours in Viet Nam and has been diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and depression. His condition is severe enough that he is rated as being 100% permanently disabled by the V.A. He's on several medications for anxiety and depression and, for the most part, he's stable although he is rarely really happy. We moved to a less stressful rural area near his family in Florida four years ago which has helped him but, from time to time, he sinks into a deep depression and I really don't know how to help him. I try to be reassuring and supportive, sitting with him and talking about this and that, but he really has no interest in anything when he's down and eventually I run out of things to talk about so we watch tv. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions that might help to pull him out of it? He doesn't get depressed about the war, he gets depressed about current situations or about nothing at all. Thanks.
2 people like this
4 responses
• United States
18 May 08
Bless him. I don't know what war is like through a soldier's eyes, but I know depression. Having no interest in anything is one of the main signs of depression. I've had it since I was a teenager. I'm not comfortable with giving out the details of the reason why, but I understand completely. My family, well my mom mostly, have noticed how my behavior often changes. I am somewhat okay one day and the next I am feeling lost and confused. Crying is another issue that I have. I don't like doing it. Part of me feels weak. That feel often leads to other feelings and then I'm caught up in my own emotions. I live in my head on my dark days. Believe me, just being there with your husband is saying enough. Even if he won't communicate with you. I don't know if there is a way to 'pull him out'. He has to do it on his own. I've heard of soldier's returning home and having feelings of being lost or stuck in the middle of some kind of purgatory. After they've been through everything, sometimes life might seem kind of pointless or dreary. You know what I mean? The little things life has to offer seem so unimportant when you're depressed. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But, I wish you and your husband the best. I hope this helps a little bit.
2 people like this
@spalladino (17923)
• United States
18 May 08
Thanks, your response has helped alot. Along with talking to his doctor about a medication increase or change I guess I'll continue to do what I've been doing. Do you have people to talk to when you're feeling bad? If you ever need someone to talk to you can email me.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 May 08
Thanks for your support as well. I talk to my mom and a close friend sometimes. But, mostly I just keep things to myself. I find that to be easier. Sad but easier.
@besthope44 (12141)
• India
9 Oct 10
Most time, its my work..with ontime deliveries and work loads. I try to divert mind on music and i feel better. We need to manage depression, as it is part of life in busy world. But if we concentrate, we can manage it. I does it through my yoga, listening music and going out on vacation.
@spalladino (17923)
• United States
14 Oct 10
Hi besthope...I was surprised to see another response to this discussion. My husband used his work to cope for 30 years. He was a general contractor so he always had lots of jobs going at once which kept him and his mind busy. He had to stop working after he had a triple bypass but, since I wrote this discussion, we opened a business so that he could do what he loves...customizing and working on motorcycles. We've had to scale down lately since his arthritis has gotten bad but he still does a lot of business on Ebay and being busy helped him a lot. Going on vacation is always great for anyone's mood!
@angel3 (49)
20 May 08
hello, I wont begin to say I understand your husband's ptsd, but what I can say is this I understand his depression, I have been studying counselling and one of the things I do know is that I have to be counselled myself first and I have become aware of how others around us even if they dont say anything really truly help just by sometimes just making a hot drink. In my past I have suffered greatly from grief striken depression and I still have severe anxiety. I do beleive however your husband may benefit from possibly joining a VA support group where he may well be able to talk with other veterans who have been through similar trauma's.He may even benefit from writing his thoughts down which I do every day even if its just something like: God I feel like I dont want to get dressed today and I dont think I will.! I also used to write what colours would cheer me up! like Orange or Pale blue or baby pink. I buy myself a bright journal and put a title inside so that I have a couple of journals for different thoughts. I wrote stuff like that last year when I was going through a very low time in my life. I do have a friend in West Virginia who says he values the VA Hospital and the help centre more than he thought. I send you love and healing for both of you. Love and light d
@spalladino (17923)
• United States
21 May 08
Thank you Angel3, I appreciate your advice and your openness. I've tried to convince him to join one of the PTSD support groups at the VA and so has his psychiatrist but he tried once and wasn't comfortable there. So, I just try to keep him busy which is hard to do most of the time. I will suggest that he keep a journal, though...I like that idea and maybe it will help him to work through some of his issues.
@sunnflr (2767)
• United States
18 May 08
Does his doctor know that he is still really depressed? Maybe he needs to change medications? My Mom suffers from depression, and she had to try different meds before finding the one that works best. I've heard that getting involved in a hobby helps with depression. And, exercise releasing endorphins that are supposed to help. I wish him, and you, all the best.
@spalladino (17923)
• United States
18 May 08
Thanks sunnflr. He was on prozac for a couple of years and that did seem to stop working so his doctor put him on something else. He's been taking that for over a year now so I'm going to call his doctor on Monday and see if maybe he could use an adjustment. He actually does have a hobby right now...he sold his stock Harley and is building a Harley chopper, which keeps him busy when he's feeling okay and he's active on Ebay buying and selling motorcycle parts.
1 person likes this