Is this my duty?
By cream97
@cream97 (29087)
United States
May 19, 2008 10:36am CST
My father-in-law has to work in another town and his wife does not have a place to live.. They both don't. While he is in another town, she will have to stay at some one's house. Well my father-in-law will be gone for 10 to 12 hrs in a day. I really don't want my mother-in-law to come and sit at my house that long. I have had some problems in the past with her. From these bad experiences, I choose to not let her sit at my house for such a long time. Nor do I want to be alone with her.. Is it my duty to let her come over my house and sit while her husband has to work out of town? I am very comfortable with just seeing her every blue moon, but not for many long extended hours.
3 people like this
9 responses
@dragonfly242 (1060)
• Bahamas
24 May 08
It is not your duty to have her stay at your house cream. If you're not comfortable with her there for extended periods of time,then you are within your rights to not have her there.
Seeing that you're a stay at home mom, and thats stress within itself, you dont need to spend 10 to 12 hours entertaining someone you dont even get along well with.
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
24 May 08
Is she your husbands mother, or your fil's second wife. I think I would feel obligated if it were my husband's mother. But that is just me. And also I don't know the details of the bad experiences you have had with her.
@shooie (4984)
• United States
23 May 08
Maybe she can find a part time job or go to the library and catch up on some reading. I don't think it is duty to take her in for hours at a time. They need to find a place to stay so that when he is gone at work if she isn't going to work then she can stay in her own place. Don't feel guilty and don't let anyone make you feel guilty.
@sunkissed (4330)
• United States
19 May 08
Well If he has a job working that many hours why can they not get aplace of their own to syay in? I do not think that it is your duty to allow this woman to come to your house, that is a big imposition on you. You after all do have a life of your own. And if the two of you have had priblems in the past, that makes it even worse.
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
24 May 08
it is not your responsibility to accommodate you specially you have bad experience with her. as what you have said you are not comfortable with her so better keep away from her so that you can't make any arguments that can turn into dispute.
@nilzerous1 (2434)
• India
19 May 08
Well it depends a lot on the situation. If it is a matter of couple of days, or weeks- then you may somehow like to tolerate her presence in your house. But if it is a permanent arrangement they are considering to implement, then you must not hesitate expressing your reservation.
However, if she needs shelter immediately, allow her to stay for some days and at the same time try searching for alternative accommodation for them in a locality not too far away from your home, and never just beside your apartment. With different connectivity like Phone/Internet and different other gadgets it is not that difficult to keep an eye on someone staying away.
Hope this helps.
@ebsharer (5515)
• United States
19 May 08
No it is not your duty to let her come sit at your house. If you and her don't see eye to eye maybe its because she is jealous of you. You have a place to live she doesn't. Maybe you could find a few cheap places and on one of those days she comes over say alright lets go look at this place I found. If her husband is working that many hours there is no reason in the world they can't pay for a place to live.
You do the research and find some thing for them. It doesn't seem like she is going to find it herself.
GOOD LUCK
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
19 May 08
Yes, she told me yesterday, that they are moving... But only when they found out that my sister-in-law's landlord wanted them out by May, 14, 2008.. Now they all are no longer in her apartment. My mil tried to make it seem like they were moving on their own behalf, when indeed they were being kicked out!
@sophiasmom911 (1345)
• United States
24 May 08
hello cream dear!I dont think its your duty. You shouldnt have to do anything that your not comfortrable with. I think the more you let her stay the more they will never get motivated to get their place ya know what I mean? even if they cant afford a place they could even apply for government assisting. Dont let her wear ya out dear!
