My 2 year old gets sick every time..How do I tell them its there dirty house?

United States
May 19, 2008 2:00pm CST
This last week my girls were at there grandparents house (my ex husbands parents), Now I have nothing at all against them. But the last few times Me and my boyfriend have dropped the girls off over there my youngest has come home with a cold or like this time a fever and she was throwing up for 2 days. now her grandma said that she was sick last weekend but we have noticed that there grandmas been sick a lot, just colds and stuff like that but they have 9 horses, I think about the same number of dogs if not a couple more, 3 cats and 3 birds. so this is a lot for 2 people to take care of so there house has been very messy the last few times we have been over there, now I know that there grandpa hates the house like that because I used to live there and if the house wasn't clean when he came home from work OMG watch out!! I think that the reason that my youngest gets sick when shes there is from the dogs.....My thought is that the dog come in the house and they have hard wood floors and the dogs drag in there poo on there feet (and yes they allow all the dogs in the house they have to do it in shifts but they all get to come in) they have leather couches and when your sitting on them you see mud the dogs have gotten on there so I think they walk through that to, I just think they have to much to handle but I know they love the animals. I just dont know how to tell them that I think there house is whats making them sick without being rude and making them think I'm butting into there business. I cant tell them to get ride of there dogs, I mean I have one dog and I know what she drags into the house just by herself, they have golden retrievers that they breed and the dags are well taken care of so dont think there neglected cause I know for a fact there not i think the dogs are to spoiled and thats why there house is the way it is, they need a kennel in there back yard with heating and air so the dogs dont have to go in the house, but anyways what do I do? My girls love going over there and I dont want to start drama..........
5 people like this
11 responses
@kerriannc (4280)
• Jamaica
19 May 08
Your daughter is allergic to something over their grandparents house. What I would suggest is that you find out what it is and then see if the doctor can help. Allergies comes from Sinus. So take the time and solve the problem. Grandparents are so good to have around.
1 person likes this
@barehugs (8984)
• Canada
19 May 08
Sorry, but i don't see an easy way out of this mess! There is no way you could tell these people to Clean up their House! That would not be acceptable! A person's house is their Home and that's the way it is! On the other hand your kids Love their Grandparents, and the animals are fun too. I would be apprehensive if my young child vomited for two days. This sounds like more than a Cold to me. I definitely would not let my kids be in an unhealthy situation like that! If the Grandparents ask why the kids are not coming to visit, I'd be honest and tell the Grandparents that their house and pets make the youngest girl sick.
@jillbeth (2710)
• United States
19 May 08
I can understand your dilema! You want your kids to enjoy their grandparents but also are concerned for their health. Even healthy dogs can carry E. coli and salmonella germs. I know you don't want to offend the grandma, but you may need to find a way to politely voice your concerns. Something like, "I know the grandkids love to visit, but I've noticed that they tend to be sick after a visit. I think the animals may be the cause." Let her know that you understand that they take good care of their animals, you aren't pointing blame at them, but it seems that your daughter's immune system may not be able to handle the exposure to germs. You don't have to tell her you think her house is a mess! You may want to offer to help clean the house; sounds like they are very busy taking good care of their animals. If grandma truly cares about her grandkids, she should not be offended by a careful approach of this subject. For your daughter's sake, you may have to take that chance.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May 08
I don't know if it would be their dogs causing it. As long as they keep their house clean and keep their dogs clean I see nothing wrong with the house. Our dogs are always indoors, but we bathe them once a week. I see nothing with how they treat their dogs.
• United States
19 May 08
I wasn't saying they dont take care of there dogs, I am saying that they dont keep up with them, they have and st. Bernard and 8 or 9 golden retrievers between two people thats to much mess to keep up with plus all the horses and the birds and cats, then just taking care of themselves, theres to much mess, when you sit on the couch and look at it and see the dirt on it (its leather) from the dogs going in and out of the house and there back porch has so much poo on it, its all over the right side of there porch you know the dogs walk in it and bring it in along with the dirt they drag in, like I said when you sit on the couch you feel like your sitting in feces. Its a VERY unhealthy house, Its neverb been like that before until they got all these animals, And they also just got two new puppies that's why I think they have 10 or 11 now, I cant count them all when I'm over there cause theres so many and I cant keep track of them, They love there dogs and they do take care of them, So I guess you could say there just not taking care of themselves or there house there letting it get run down by the dogs. and its not healthy for anyone who lives there or goes there for a period of time.
@cream97 (29152)
• United States
27 Feb 11
Hi. guinness1982. As a mother, you have to do what is best for your kids. I had to do the same with my children too. It made me feel bad, but I had to do it. They should keep the dogs outside. I would never have a dog inside of my home, especially when it is around younger kids. Germs can come and go. You will just have to be honest with your ex husbands parents. Hopefully, if they really love and acre for their grand kids, they would be willing to make some adjustments to make it easier, safe and healthier for your kids. In the meantime, you will just have to keep your kids at home until this house becomes germ free and clean. Take care.
@TheCatLady (4695)
• Israel
3 Jul 10
Wood floors are easier to clean than carpets. They might show the dirt, but they don't harbor all the germs carpets do. Same with leather sofas. Fewer germs, but the dirt shows. I live with a ton of animals and am never sick. They sleep in bed with me. It might be your girls are allergic to dogs, but that wouldn't make them throw up. They could be allergic to something they eat there.
@Lindalinda (4112)
• Canada
17 Sep 09
There is no of telling the grandparents that their dirty house makes your child sick without upsetting them. The first thing to do is take your daughters to the doctor and find out what allergies they have. Birds, dogs and cats can all be the culprit. After you discuss the problem with your doctor get some guidance from him or her as how to handle the situation. For instance phone the grandparents to let them know when you will visit with the kids but tell them that your girls have to be in a clean environment, i.e hairfree, bird poo free, dog free. Offer to come over early and help them clean, have your boyfriend bring the kids later, don't leave them there too long and then pack them up and take them home with you. After a while the grandparents will get the message. If they don't invite them over to your place so they can see their grandchildren. I don't know how old this couple is but even for young people it would be too much to handle all these animals. Bring up the subject of downsizing or hiring help when the opportunity arises.
@lonewolfnan (4367)
• Canada
22 May 08
as it is a health concern for your children,that is the priority of you AND the grandparents.HOW to approach the subject though....I have no idea.Maybe by checking with the health authorites asking them what some of the risks are of all those animals on the human health.See if there is any real danger to your kids(it may be that they are getting the normal childhood diseases) and then approach the grandparents with these concerns(with proof).No body wants it to turn into a "me-versus-them scenereo,but the health of the children HAS to be the important factor.
@mikeysmom (2091)
• United States
20 May 08
this is real dilemma and a hard one for me to answer. i am not sure what i would do here but i think my instinct would be to lean towards not allowing them to go there if they are getting ill and their health is at risk. you cannot tell them to clean their house without insulting them. perhaps you may have to say they need to come to your house to visit or make arrangements for them to meet you at a restaurant or something. perhaps saying the girls are allergic to the animals may be helpful so you do not hurt their feelings...oh, i don't know. this one really has me puzzled and again i am not sure what you should do here. all i can say is good luck.
@sid556 (30987)
• United States
20 May 08
Oh I am glad this is you...not me. I am not good at all in these sorts of situations. this would be easier to answer if they didn't sound like such wonderful people. By the sounds of it, both you and your children adore them. I'm thinking maybe your daughter has an allergic reaction to the animals? Then again you mentioned the feces and that they get tracked in. I have to tell you that my step son is blind in one eye because of bacteria in dog feces. Somehow he got it on his hand and then rubbed his eye. Luckily that is as far as it went before they caught it for it could have travelled to his brain. Because of the seriousneess of this, I think you owe it to your children and the grandparents to hold a family meeting and discuss this situation. Maybe the kids could help them with the animals or maybe it is time for them to downsize. I'm sure they don't want their grandchildren to be unhealthy because of the animals. This isn't going to be easy but you all sound pretty close so I'm sure it can be done. Best of luck to you.
@Hatley (164180)
• Garden Grove, California
20 May 08
I would talk to them but in a very tactful way mentioning that your girls get sick after being there and you think its from the dogs. offer to help clean the house and be very pleasant about it and do not say that their house is a mess ever.