I am who you are..

I don't think you're missing a thing, raijin. What you say makes a lot of sense. You're simply putting yourself in the other person's shoes, seeing things through their perspective, giving them a chance to be comfortable with you and by being so very non-threatening, they're much more likely to open up to you and make more of themselves known to you. I think you're very wise, actually. And you try, raijin, you really try to be the very best you can be. The thing is, you succeed. Whatever it is that has you off the mood, I hope it works out for you. If you need any help, please feel free to ask. So many of us would be happy to offer our assistance. I certainly would. You're the sweetest person, truly.

Howdy Raijin, I don't think I absorb their character but I do study it. i start drawing conclusions such as what we have in common, how our personalities are tempered and will it be a good fit, does the new friend have a good sense of humor? I try never to adopt someones behaviors or moods, but as you know my friend, a bright cheery mood can rub off on you as does bad moods. I too observe and size up a new person. I am a chatter and I will strike up conversations and have good intuitive instincts about people, so I know pretty fast if a friendship is going to work for me.

I had a great time reading and laughing about your back and forth comments with Goodie.And I must say that the male species like you who knows a lot of household chores, who cooks and do his laundry, are in the brink of extinction! Usually when I meet new people, I'm friendly but still a little bit reserved. But I soon warm up to them when I feel that they are sincere and seems harmless. hehehe. But when you start to get a little nasty towards me, then I'm nastier. I seldom become like that though. Because I don't often meet people who seems fond of seeking trouble. But as my husband has told me a million times, I stick out my claws when I'm being attacked by mean people. And I respect people who respects me in return. What goes around, come around. By the way, goodluck with the laundry. Because I'm struggling with mine.Especially with the constant heavy rains. It's so difficult to have dry, clean-smelling clothes these days. I miss the sunshine!!!!!

When I get to meet new people, I tend to be the observer kind, and yes, I do the same thing, if they are nice to me, I return the act. There are times when I make an effort to start a discussion just not to feel the lull moment. I easily get uncomfortable when there's this "gray" state in between the making friend process. But really, sometimes, I would rather that they start the conversation first, because if my shy-side would dominate, i tend to go back to my shell and clam-up.

It is natural raijin to respond to people as they treat us. Unless we develop an instinctive and instant 'dislike' for them. You know - there are some people you meet sometimes, that you just can't warm up to. But mostly, we are social creatures who react in a welcoming manner - so it's not that you 'absorb' other people's characteristics so much, as it is just you responding in a way that reflects how they are responding to you. In this way, your defences are 'down' in that you are open to learning from and about them as they are learning from and about you. It's the natural 'give and take' of a functioning society. That you would pay attention to this exchange puts far and above a lot of people! Well done you!

Yes, I have done this, in fact even to the extent that if there were something that really impressed me about them, I would keep right on doing that thing or mannerism.

i also try to learn about the person's character first when i just first met the person... but i don't want to adopt their behaviour and moods... especially the negative ones... i just act neutral and if i can continue to be close friend with the person, then i will... otherwise, i just be an ordinary friend and act normal... take care and have a nice day...

hey raijin! long time no "see". ^__^;; i guess its natural for people to be nice to new acquaintances. or the right term would be polite. i am not a friendly person, one who initiates to get closer to a new acquaintance. i just sit there, or stand there and act civil and polite as they are to me. but i am open with people who are friendly and tries to be friends and get close to me. at first i would just try to know them, maybe share a little bit about me. if i like them then i welcome their friendship and be open to them. but if i don't like them, i still act polite and a little aloof.

Hi raijin. I am usually open and friendly when I first meet people and mostly observe their behaviors and character. I can get a sense of whether they are ones that I would get along with easily, and also ones that I might not have an easy time with. A lot of people don't express themselves immediately on meeting them, and tend to shy away. After spending time with them and getting to know them more, I tend to find out more about them and if they are as easy going as me, then we get along fine. I might immitate them sometimes or vice versa though. I hope your mood is a lot better today. I know I haven't been myself of late either and I think I need a break from everything. I know I shouldn't post when I'm moody too but sometimes letting it all out here just helps, especially when friends come by for support. Take care!

I sort of study a person and then if I like their character and personality I will become their friend but I never try to take on any of their personality as I have to be me, the only person I know how to be.

Well,with me, I will not do another person wrong when they do me wrong. This shows a level of immaturity..

I have always found that if you study a person long enough, and usually it doesn't take that long, you can predict what they will do or say in a given situation. My father is the same way...so I don't know if I picked up from him by influence or genetics. But it has helped me out a lot in life. Oh and on the bad side of it, even though you realize you can control a situation and/or a person, it can be very dangerous if you let the power go to your head.

I don see myself doing that. I have to be honest, im very choosy when it comes to making friends because there are times when people actually like you too much and get soo close to you that u feel so uncomfortable. when i want to get to know someone, i would usually observe them and ask friends about their opinions on that person. I do take friends' opinions seriously, however, i don't see anything wrong making friends with my close friend's enemies. I wont absorb their character because i love being myself =)