Can a single kid grow better ?

@devtina (371)
India
May 21, 2008 2:52pm CST
I have a 2 year old son. I love him a lot may be like all mothers would do. Well My husband and myself havent thought or decided on another child as yet...well what makes me write this discussion is , I'd like to know if its best that a child grows all by himself rather than having siblings or would he grow better if he has another sister or a brother. I have myself have been brought up with a sister n a brother ...but yes of course we 've had our happy times sad times fighting times what not ...but sometimes the same thing you can also share with a friend i mean with friends too u fight u laugh u cry n what not....so am kinda thinking would it be best for a kid to grow all alone or is it best that he has a sister or brother of his own... Experienced parents would need some of your thoughts to be shared here please...And something that still is in my mind is if ...u do have 2 kids or more do u or is it possible that u love all of them equally .....i know my parents do so to all three of us..i somehow cant get myself to think apart from my son now how i would think of anyone else...strange it may seem but i'm just sharing what i feel... Please share ur thoughts so to help me come out of my thinking that way if its for good.
1 person likes this
2 responses
• United States
21 May 08
First you need to know that what you are feeling is absolutley normal!! I have 2 daughters, one is 4 and the other is 23 months. While pregnant with my second daughter, I had thoughts and fears that I would not be able to divide myself enough between the two. How could I love another child the way I loved my oldest?! The answer to that is, that you will love your children the same but different. There is not dividing yourself. Its hard to explain but its so natural its something you just do. I made sure to include my oldest daughter in every aspect of the new ones life and daily routine. This not only helped us keep our close bond, but help her to care for another person. To help her understand what a family is suppose to be. To this day, I am more happy then ever having 2 kids and look forward to the day I find out I'm pregnant with our 3rd. I could not picture my life with only one child and I know that whichever decision you make will be the best for you and your family. Good luck
1 person likes this
@devtina (371)
• India
26 May 08
Thanks Melissa, reading what you wrote makes me feel comfortable ...cause i was under the impression if something was wrong me thinking the way i did...u say thats normal...hmmm i think having another kid just instills that love within you that you would have the same love be the same and yet it would not be the same kinds...well i may be confusing you saying that...but atleast i got your message so thanks to u..and all the very best for ur 3rd one :)
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 May 08
when I was little there was eight years difference between me and my sister and I always felt so lonely as all my classmates had brothers and sisters.I had 'only two children but they were eleven months apart. and I was glad as they had each other. Children do better if they grow up with siblings.And the siblings should not be spaced to far apart either.I loved both mychildren equally and also differently as one was a girl and one was a boy.
@devtina (371)
• India
26 May 08
Thanks Hatley for responding....well thats another thing i had in mind too whether having a big difference between two children would teach the elder one to take care of the younger...i thought that was so...but if you say u felt lonely n all that then...i think a too long a difference wouldnt be really good at the same time a shorter one too wouldnt be fine ..so i wonder what would be the right age difference to have between the 2...any views on that...kindly let me know ;) thanks