How Do You Deal With People Who Act Like The World Owes Them A Living?
By KrauseHome
@KrauseHome (36448)
United States
May 23, 2008 10:08pm CST
I just recently responded to a discussion talking about Pet Peeves, and this made me start this discussion. For me, one of my biggest pet peeves are people who are always complaining about everything, and acting like the world owes them a living but never really trying to do anything about it themselves. These are the ones who you always see trying to Scam the system also in one way or another, and then when something does not happen the way they want it, they act like "WHY?" and life is not fair.
I work with someone who is definately one of the worst I have ever seen for this, and we call her a Drama Queen at work, and there is times I would Love to tell her the reason her life is like it is, is because she is never trying to better it, and expects everything handed to her. She just turned 45, and acts like everything should be handed to her, and life is not fair if she has to struggle. She is married and her husband, or so she says cannot work and is having some major medical issues. But the thing that gets me, is she is the first one always complaining about she cannot make ends meet, and gets FREE food from everywhere, and always expecting hand outs. She will say she has no $$ for food, and then spend at least $20-30 on her animals for food, etc. She is always begging us at work for Food, and such as well.
Also she claims Exempt on her Taxes at work, and said she was able to claim the Earned Income Credit on her taxes this last yr. but then did not owe anything from claiming exempt? If she makes too much $$ for Welfare to give much to her husband for being Disabled, how can she not have to pay taxes? She even made a complaint about not getting a stimulus check, and I could not feel Sorry for her, as I feel why should I as I don't feel it is fair paying her taxes when she is working.
Yes, I can honestly admit there was a time in my life where I might have not been the best person I could be, but she absolutely drives me nuts, and sometimes I want to scream or tell her, the reason you have nothing is because you are only using everyone, and doing nothing for yourself so how to do expect to get much more? It would Bug me even more if we had a better paying job. But when she complains about income, etc. I just do not feel Sorry for her. There are better jobs out there, and if it was me, I would want to be doing more for myself.
So how do you deal with people like this, and can you keep quiet, or do you tell people how you feel in cases like this hoping somehow something you say could make a difference? I wonder how many of us know people like this as well?
3 people like this
14 responses
@mentalward (14691)
• United States
24 May 08
One more thing I almost forgot. I have a friend who is very similar to the person you mentioned. She'll buy new clothes, shoes, go to expensive restaurants, etc. and then complain about having no money for her bills. This is a constant thing, too; not just one or two times.
I try to tell her that she has to tighten her belt and pay bills first, but she never listens. Every now and then, when I've had enough, I'll burst out with what is really on my mind and tell her, "Then starve. At least you'll be wearing nice clothes in your casket!" She usually shuts right up, stays quiet for awhile, then calls to apologize for the way she was acting.
Of course, it always starts right back up again later, but for a little while things aren't so bad.
Good luck!
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
26 May 08
It is sad that there are so many people out there like this. Why do they fail not to see that they are in control of their own destiny, and if they do not do anything to change it, and their situation, no one else will, and if they do not want to control their spending, etc. and do nothing for themselves, there should be a way from stopping them from getting help from others as well.
@mentalward (14691)
• United States
24 May 08
Best thing you could do, onetrack!
1 person likes this
@onetrackmind (104)
• United States
24 May 08
Can concur with what you are saying Mental. God helps those that helps themselves. Sister-n-law stills owe her brother about $400.00 and us about the same amount. We bailed her out on her mortgage and or phone or gas bill. She is the soul provider in a household of 7. HER CHOOSING! Mom gets Social Security, Chuck the lazy #$% uncle hasn't worked a day in his life and thinks everyone owes him!Sis-in-law blows $$'s on DVD's then wonders why she can't pay the bills! I have told Pat NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1 person likes this
@mentalward (14691)
• United States
24 May 08
I knew one exactly like that. In fact, one of his (many) ex-bosses once said to me, "He acts as though the world owes him something." This was 20-some years ago.
He is an ex of mine. I met him recently after not seeing him for 15 years or so, and he is still exactly the same. He has nothing but his ego to his name. He has never owned his own home, never bought his own car, and was always begging me to "give him a break" on the child support because he had no money and had to feed his new family. Yeah, right, like I'm going to do that? No way! Like the judge told him at a child support hearing, "You should have thought about your responsibilities before you started a new family." He was very happy to become the father of our son at the time, but never wanted to pay for the privilege. I had to throw him out because I owned the house we lived in and almost lost it because of him.
Yes, I know the type. I will not give him a break. Not even a tiny one. I did a lot for him in the past and was never repaid. Child support has caught up with him now, since he owes over $25,000.00 in arrears, and will take his driver's license away if he stops paying. He's STILL asking me for a break!
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
24 May 08
Wow!! I am glad that you are getting Child support at least from him. I cannot believe people can actually be like this. Makes you wonder where they get such notions like this unless their family is like this as well. All I can wonder, is how they can live with themselves and realize what they are doing to everyone.
@mentalward (14691)
• United States
24 May 08
I think it was how he was raised. But you'd think that, after 54 years on this Earth, he would have "woken up and smelled the coffee". But, no, he's still the same. It's sad. Yes, I'm finally getting child support. Our son is 24 years old now and I'm finally getting it! He had his driver's license suspended because of the arrears and he didn't like it much. He's been trying to get me to drop the case because of our son's age and the fact that he doesn't want to lose his license again. I won't, of course. I suffered many years, working 2 or 3 jobs at once, to make ends meet while not receiving any child support from him. It's his turn to suffer now.
1 person likes this
@ambkeb (782)
• United States
24 May 08
As another said I think we all know someone like that. My aunt and uncle are that way. But somehow they always have a new house, new cars...etc etc. But it doesnt take long before someone comes and takes it. I finally found out how they are always getting brand new things. THey are putting stuff into their childrens name!!! Can you belive that? My grandpa went off on my aunt about it. She is ruining her childrens credit and now they will never be able to have anything for themselves. My aunts response..."They are my children...I gave them life, they owe me." THEY OWE ME!! UGHHHH Anyways..I do know people like that...even their own children owe them apparently.
1 person likes this
@Savvynlady (3684)
• United States
25 May 08
The best thing to do with folks like that is to leave them alone. Personally in spite of all my experiences and challenges, I don't feel the world owes me a thing. I feel I should give or leave this world in a bit better shape for having been put on it. and that is something I grapple and deal with daily because with all the challenges I go through I know somehow I am not doing that. You are going to have folks that complain for the sake of complaining. My mother is one of them. Love her, but not for that and I try my best to just stay out of her way. I resolved to keep an even temper with her, but that is hard and now I feel that the best thing to do is leave. In your coworkers case, you really can't tell her nothing because she probably feel that she is right no matter what. The best thing to do is keep her at arms distance. Tonight I just came in and my car broke down and although I am mad, I also know that the world isn't going just give me the money to get it fixed or at least give me the money to get a new one. No. I gotta go and get that for myself.
1 person likes this
@lishiwei (1550)
• China
25 May 08
Yes,we shold think the life is unfair but we still need to leave so there is no use to think of it and the only thing we can do is do the things we should.I also think there is no use to complaining them.The only thing we shold think is what should we do and how to do it as better as we can.
I also don't like this kind of person but I also will help them as much as I can in diffirent ways.I think we shold help them.
1 person likes this
@Palmerhusky (843)
• United States
25 May 08
what i do is just nod and smile. unfortunately the problem is that people like that dont see anything wrong with thier situation and they end up liking where they are. if it becomes a major problem where the person is mooching off another then i would have to say something to try and light a fire under their butt. sometimes its what they need. so i could take it either way because every situation is different because each individual is different and needs to be treated differently. but some you cant help at all because they dont want the help.
1 person likes this
@tarachand (3895)
• India
24 May 08
Don't deal with them!
Just avoid interacting with them or don't lend them an ear. Once you start listening to the first few words of their current pet peeve, they feel that they have your sympathetic ear and then there's no stopping them.
Politely find a way to get out of the conversation, once you do it too often, I am sure that they will get the message and maybe hate you for ever, but then you are rid of such a person's rants.
Can you do anything to change a person like that? Why should you even care, unless it is someone close to you. Then depending upon the nature of the person, use your mind and make her/him see the error of her/his ways.
This life is too nice to interfere into other's matters.
1 person likes this
@Savvynlady (3684)
• United States
8 Nov 09
Sadly I had a friend like that; And recently I had to cut her loose; That girl must had have several men including the guy I was going with give her money on a regular basis and everytime she started a course, she SWORE the people were against her and that she couldn't work in that environment. She broke up or helped to break up because the man had a big part too in breaking up one what we thought solid marriage, but I guess that goes to show you that you can't put money on anything "solid" these days. I have seen her in my presence have money and order stuff and don't offer nothing; dog out people, she was engaged to a minister who was crazy about her but I think he was so crazy about her he didn't know what to do with her if you ask me but the whole deal broke up. Everybody else aint' jack and she's doing beautiful although I do know she owes money on her car, this and that; Not to say my life is better cause it is not but her last antics made me cut the strings to her as well as my boyfriend; It hurt me to do it; but I am probably one of those women who feel any man isn't good to have just to have. Honey, I can do real bad by myself if I need to and I have; anyway, I will put the link to my discussion on them here. http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2149168.aspx
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
24 May 08
I am sure we allknow of people like this and maybe
if you talk hard enought at her you might get
through to her that she needs to do stuff for
herself and find a better paying job instead of
complaining. It is easy to complain but harder
to work at finding a better job.
1 person likes this
@chrissieatu (1033)
• China
24 May 08
Well there are definitely this kind of people. I will just leave them there, complaining about their things themselves. Even though they complain it to me, I will send out some signal that I am not willing to listen to that. I suppose they will soon find it meaningless to complain to me and go to the others. That's how I deal with them.
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
24 May 08
I think we all know people like this. There might even be a mental illness that goes with this .... some sort of persecution syndrom. The world is a cold and cruel place and poor poor me I am the victim of a conspiracy.
I have a friend like this. She won't listen when people tell her that it is her fault she can't pay her bills because those $900 shoes and that $1,500 purse cost more than two months rent. No we won't loan her the money for her gas bill again!
There are lots of people in the world who really believe that the world spins on the axis of their desires and demands. That they have nothing they have to do to ensure the outcomes they want, other than get up in the morning. When they don't get the outcome they want they go into beeatch mode and begin the campaign of Hades ... blaming everyone but themselves for what happens next. No matter what you tell them they don't hear you. If you try to say stop what you are doing then you are in on the conspiracy to do them harm.
It is hard to watch these people self-implode. Especially if you care for them. Sometimes though that is all you can do.
@grammasnook (1871)
• United States
24 May 08
I believe we all know people like this, it is weird my husband works his butt off and every once and awhile he will say why cant we just catch a break. I just look at him and say we have gotten a break we have a roof, food health and steady jobs what else can you ask for? He just looks at me and chuckles. His step father rest his sole use to complain all the time well this isnt fair that isnt fair,I can not do this and I can not do that. Use to drive me banana's. One day I unloaded on him and said what makes you any different than every other struggling person, why do you think you deserve more than all the rest. Do you think money and success just knocks on your door? I told him I was tired of his moaning and groaning and only he could change his life and his financials. Ummmmmm he went out and finally got a part time job and got things that he wanted. Sometimes we have to be bold and come right out and say it. That is what I think lol
1 person likes this
@vickmahon11 (32)
• United States
24 May 08
KrauseHome I can feel ur frustration, and I do sympathize with u having to listen to this woman everyday at work, but I can tell u from my own experience[yes, I've met quite a few of them] people such as this are in a "MindSet". That mindset has been there ,in most cases, all of their lives. Also, that mindset is not necessarily a fault in upbringing. All of us have differing personalities, similar at a few points, but unique in itself completely. I think u can agree in a family with several siblings u will find one strong, one quiet, one whiner and so on. I have looked at ur profile page and I think that I am right in my assumption that u are a christian, so I believe I can safely say this to u and u will understand what I mean by it. Personally, I believe every single one of us has a dark side, a sinful side we have to deal with. Some do it more successfuuly than others, some don't even try, but I believe that for some of us [which I was one of them at one time] there is no chance in haiti for us to overcome the dark, sinful side of our soul or personality without the intervention of Jesus.....and He MUST be invited to do so. Maybe this woman is one of those that it takes Christ Jesus to transform. If so, start praying diligently for her. There is a scripture in the Bible that says [paraphrasing now] "that we are like iron to flint sharpening one another". U know, like when u sharpen a knife blade against a whet stone. It sounds like to me that ur edge is just about honed as sharp as u can stand it. LOL! In otherwords, she's been rubbing u the wrong way, so it's time to get the Lord after her and off ur back. If the Lord leads you to say something to her, speak up loud and clear, but not just to humiliate her in front of others. Jesus would never do that to u. He didn't bring one word of accusation against the adulterous woman in scripture, and in fact, He quietly dared anyone else to..... while He wrote in the sand, remember?.
GOOD LUCK!
MAMA VICKIE
1 person likes this
