Teenagers

Canada
May 24, 2008 5:07pm CST
Well I have hit the stage in my life where I am finally the parent of a teenager, and I am feeling like I am loosing most days. I can thank my lucky stars that my only concerns are with attitude and chores and not with some of the more horrible things like smoking and drugs/alcohol. How did many of you make it through being the parents to teenagers, how do you let them go while holding them close? I am very eager to be the best parent possible to my kids ( I have 4) I have made sure there is a definate line of communication, but how is it that I can get the kids to do their chores, or at the very least clean up after themselves? The talking back, and wanting reasons why for everything...how did you do it? How did you cope? One of the mom's from one of the kids in my oldests grade said it was so bad for her with her oldest that she went on prozac...I must admit that I can't see it being that bad for me...at least not until my daughter gets there....but it is kind of scarey to think that our kids can have that big of an impact on our mental health.
2 people like this
3 responses
• United States
24 May 08
Oh man, I can feel your pain! My oldest just turned 13, has his first "girlfriend", which translates into, they eat lunch together, lol. He is so lippy, and such an attitude! I have four more to follow, and the only one that I am really dreading is my daughter, she is already too high maintenance and she is only 8!
2 people like this
• Canada
25 May 08
Oh I am so lucky so far *knocks on wood* that my son doesn't view girls "that way" but just as friends. Though we do have quite a few girls calling the house etc. several times a day, and randomly stopping in to see our son. I know how little girls think, lol so I asked him which one was his girlfriend...and he was like "mom, they may wanna be my girlfriends but I'm only 13, I don't have time for a girlfriend!" whew...though I know that will change soon, I am happy for the peace I have right at the moment knowing he thinks that way. Like you I am dreading my dauighter, who is ten and going on 25!! Yikes! I thank my lucky stars that I got 3 boys and only the 1 girl!
• United States
24 May 08
Kids have as much of an impact on our mental health as we have on theirs. For the most part I think kids who are brought up well don't act out as much as kids who lack supervision. My daughter is only twelve so we have not hit that stage yet, but when my two nieces were younger (they lived with me) I remember it being tough with one of them. She would try to sneak out. She was so bad. I laugh about it now, but it about drove me nuts back then. You get through it day by day. One day they make you so mad, then once in a while they do something sweet that it just floors you. I found being consistent helped a lot. There were rules to be followed and consequences if they were not. I also find a large sense of humor to be of great help. I was a rotten kid so I figure I have and will get my just due. Of course it was harder for my nieces to pull stuff since I had pulled a lot of it myself. And I did embarrass my niece one evening when I came home early and then followed the footprints from the back of my house to a boy's house and gave him what for in front of his parents for being at my house after I had told him not to be. It's a tough time, but if you have set down a good belief and value system you will make it through. My nieces are both lovely young women now. And the one that used to try to sneak out got a taste of her own medicine last weekend when her son and some friends pulled a prank with a port-a-potty. That boy is still paying for it...lol.
2 people like this
• Canada
25 May 08
I think our greatest blessing as parents is the wish that one day our kids will have a kid 10 times worse than they were ;) It helps to have a forum like this though to get ideas from people who have been there and done that! I am doing my hardest on the consistancy part, I know that once I open my own dayhome and am at home, it will be easier all the way around the board :)
1 person likes this
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
24 May 08
I to have 4 children daughters 28yrs and 26yrs old, sons 13yrs and 12 years. Here is my best advice PRAY....PRAY....PRAY! No, seriously if you have raised them with good, open communication then yes they will (its a given)try your patience but mostly just to see if they can (or how bad) rattle you. So although i do have some grey hair from my oldest daughter , i do still have hair-(i think my youngest son may take care of that for me). The girls are grown, married and mothers in their own right now with not a police record between them so i figure iwe did okay. And you will to. Just remember talk, talk, talk.
• Canada
25 May 08
oh yes we do pray pray pray, thank you for not being afraid to say that! I am trying to raise balanced good kids, that will become decent, kind and hardworking adults...hopefully awesome parents! Most of the time I don't show how much they rattle me but I find a total crying break down sometimes definately gets me some results! Also it humanizes me to them. For that reason I also never heasitate to tell them I am sorry when I have admittedly wronged them!
1 person likes this
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
26 May 08
I promise children know when you screw up and if you don't admit to it and apoligize they will believe that you can't be trusted.
1 person likes this
• Canada
26 May 08
yes definately, I am not sure about other families, but i am the youngest of seven kids, and in our family, even if the kids were right, and the parents wrong, u never questioned it because they were the "adults" Not exactly the most functional of families I am sure, so when I am wrong, and when my kids tell me so, I don't say so, I'm the adult and u need to respect me anyways, I actually give them a genuine appology, to which the reply in our home is always "I accept your appology"
1 person likes this