Mylot bit me in the A**
@phillygirl606 (1112)
United States
May 26, 2008 1:03am CST
So I wrote a discussion on here about 5 months. And it was about a different guy. Well my boyfriend than got a mylot account and guess what. . . Yup you guessed it he came across that discussion. The discussion was about a guy from the past who I had came across again. He was coming back to my state and we were talking of hanging out and such. I must admit that yes I did think about meeting back up with the guy. (while I'm with this totally great guy who thinks or at least thought the world of me.)
I am not gone to sit here and say that my boyfriend never had the time of day for me or treated me bad, because it is nothing like that. He treats me great. But I somehow ended up hurting him with a conversation that I thought he would never see when I wrote it. That is no excuse for the thoughts that I was having.
I never did do anything with the other guy. We ended up not even hanging out or anything. I am in no way trying to make excuses for my actions. I have really hurt someone that I care about and I do not know why I did it.
I truly love my boyfriend with all my heart. And when he confronted me about the discussion I made today I ended up arguing with him about it. And than me, not him ended our relationship.
I always end up doing stuff like this though. I completely demolish any good relationship that I have.
Any thoughts or advice even criticism is welcomed.
And Chris if you read this I truly am sorry, I know that sorry is only a word and it does not take the hurt away.
6 people like this
12 responses
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
26 May 08
The only advice I have is to be careful of what you write about online. Anyone can find it and it really can be traced back to you. So if you do not want anyone to find out about it, you shouldn't write about it. I remember seeing something in a book a long time ago that says never put anything into writing that you do not want anyone to see.
3 people like this
@v1ctr0 (82)
• Belgium
26 May 08
Indeed, I'm always careful with putting something online. Remember, everything you say online or in real life can (and will ;p ) be used against you. Online and in Real Life i never say too much about myself because blackmailing ain't fun. Also beware of people around you when sleeping, they might take pics of you sleeping xD
and that ain't fun at ALL, never had that though but i've seen it ;)
@bond0077 (375)
•
26 May 08
You are a PLAYA!you are just playin, you sound like you like having the best of both worlds,because if you really love somebody with all your heart that the only one you should be thinking about,correct?you have to decide one way or the other ,and why would you discuss this on here in full view of everybody?with your picture to boot?to be honest i thought of asking you out myself but now no wayyyyyyyyy!bye!
2 people like this
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
26 May 08
playa no, I just did something incredibly stupid. I have never cheated on anyone, so how does that make me a playa, Just made a mistake, we all make them. I feel really bad about what I did too, I know I hurt him and for stupid reasons.
2 people like this
@bond0077 (375)
•
27 May 08
when you are playin with two different hearts at the same time you are a playa!ok it would be like me making you fall for me while i am doing the same to someone else at the same time by saying i love you to both of you,wouldn't than be wrong or you would just let go and continue to see me as if nothing is wrong!what amazes me about you is the fact that you talk about hurting someone else as if its no big deal,you say its just words but the pain is real yet you play it down as if its a joke!that is cold!
1 person likes this
@callarse1 (4783)
• United States
26 May 08
Hey phillygirl, well when ever I talk about anything I try to make it in general terms. I don't even mention their real name (I'll make up alias). You guessed it! They can always find what you wrote about them later down the line. So you have to know that anyone can read it. Anyone can stalk you, and you shouldn't use real names anyway, right phillygirl?
So yes, you better express your emotions to Chris 
otherwise he may be hurt regarding what you wrote. Have a wonderful day.
Pablo
otherwise he may be hurt regarding what you wrote. Have a wonderful day.
Pablo2 people like this
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
26 May 08
certain things should just not be said at all, I know that now. It can end up affecting people even when you think it will now. i will be more cautious for now on. Thanks for your response.
2 people like this
@mrsjbelle (1640)
• United States
26 May 08
Well sometimes we learn things the hard way. Maybe it wasnt meant to be. If it is it will work out. I wish you the best of luck with that. Dont beat yourself up over it either.
2 people like this
@bond0077 (375)
•
26 May 08
The other possibility is phillygirl is if i were to get psychology on you here ,put you on the couch type thing ,how does it make you feel when you know you might hurt someone? does it in some way make you feel good inside?like you are teaching the unhurt good person to not be so trusting?like you are doing it for his own good?especially someone good,as in trusting,forgiving etc..are you trying to share your pain of a previous heart break in your past with this new person?and a heart break
2 people like this
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
26 May 08
I'm not trying to bring anyone pain. That was not my intentions at all. I know that even though I did not physically do anything wrong that my words had hurt him. I was confused and after I had wrote it it had put a whole lot of things into perspective for me. If I could take it back I would but I can't And I don't want to say sorry a million times over because sorry is just a word and it does not take away from what my actions were. I never acted on the things I had wrote. They were just thoughts, thoughts that ended up hurting someone special after they were written.
2 people like this
@Palmerhusky (843)
• United States
26 May 08
sometimes when we have a problem in our life we dont know who to turn to in our immediate surroundings and the internet becomes our next best comforter. and unfortunately the internet nine times out of ten is an open forum like this one and you never know whos going to enter that forum. you were going through a hard time and you wanted help and you turned to the first convienient place you could think of. you posted to vent and to get suggestions on how to deal with the current situation as many people do. he shouldnt feel hurt by that. he should realize what you were doing and seeing that its that far in the past it should not even be mentioned anymore.
2 people like this
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
26 May 08
Exactly thats basically what I was doing. I do not have many close friends anymore as many of them did not fit after I had my son. Didn't lifestyles. So I turned to here never thinking that a discussion would possibly hurt someone. I needed some advice to help get my head straight. And it did help at the time. It helped me not to do something that I would have regretted. But in the end someone did get hurt, someone I never intended on hurting.
2 people like this
@cloud_kicker_32 (4635)
• United States
27 May 08
Aww sweety im soo sorry to hear about the mess thats goin on..i really am..it soo sucks because u are the third person this mth that has had this happen to..i think of mylot my own diary..and in my diary though i get advice and help here where just writing i feel still empty..I can only tell you what i thinbk u should do orr what i would do actually..if u really love the guy u were dating before u broke up..why dont you just ask him to sit down with you and you just tell him everything how u feel and whats goin on in ur head and tell him how much u love him...thats if u do??? im alot like u i always end up pushing away people i dont want to...i guess its our personaly little hell we need to deal with and find ourselves..i really wish u the best luck..give him a few more days and call him..byee sweety...April
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
30 May 08
Seems like it's happening more and more on here. I've learned that i need to stop being so open about some of my thoughts on here because they could actually hurt someone. I learned a tough question the hard way.
@ambkeb (782)
• United States
26 May 08
i havent (yet) gotten into trouble for something I have said online. My husband has though. Luckily it wasnt nothing that would cause a lot of problems between us. Just some things that made me raise my eyebrow and question him when he came home. I tend to talk before thinking and that is what gets me in trouble. LOL
2 people like this
@angel_of_charm (4134)
• Philippines
27 May 08
*sigh* you remind me of myself years ago..i didn't write anything online but i was also communicating with my ex through online and when he was up to come back here we decided to hang out and stuff that didn't happen..i know i hurt my man during those times..i forgot my messenger hanging and he saw the messages..there is nothing awful really..i didn't say i will come back to the ex..just that we were trying to get intouch and be friends somehow..but my man that time wouldn't believe on making friends with exes after the breakup..he thought there's something more on it..a kind of he got a lil narrow about it due to misinterpreting almost everything till we fought out of it..your just like me..i'm good on demolishing the good ones..
1 person likes this
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
30 May 08
I learned a tough lesson the hard way thats for sure. Sure I was a little confused when I had wrote the discussion. Maybe I should have told my boyfriend that I had some confusion. I had a lot going through my mind at the time. We have and are still talking it through now.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
26 May 08
phillygirl you just goofed big time and you are not alone. we
all have done something like that at one time in our lives.'
we kick ourselves after the words popped out. you let your
anger take over. but i bet if you just tell Chris what you have
told us that he is going to think itover and in a little
time he is going to forgive you. he knows you are a human
and humans make mistakes.Give him a chance and talk it over
with him. I don't think its too late. try it and find out.
1 person likes this
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
27 May 08
We are doing exactly that. We talked late last night and we spent some time together today. It was a huge snag in the road but I believe we will get through it. Am just happy that he's such a great guy and giving us another chance
@Insung001 (740)
• Philippines
26 May 08
highflyingxangel said it perfectly. And although it looks to me that nothing more needs to add, I would say my take anyway. I just noticed you said you "always" ended up doing stuff like this. Something tells me you got a certain mindset that tends to sabotage whatever good relationship you;re having. If I'm in your shoe, I would probably look deep in myself and see what can I do to change this inner mindset, so that the next time it won't happen again. Well, all is said and done, the only good thing you can do now is move on learn the lesson and make it better next time. It's not yet the end of the world anyway. :) Thanks for sharing.
Cheers!
2 people like this
@jczvrse (169)
• United States
26 May 08
Yep we all do things at times without thinking of any consequences but it is also natural in many people to be curious of an old flame, it doesnt mean you don't love your current love. MY ex BF and I are still good friends we talk we go out we have fun but that doesn't mean I am cheating on my BF just because they are exes and friends. Maybe he will think about it and come around sometimes the shoe needs to be on the other foot to understand.
1 person likes this
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
27 May 08
Things crossed my mind when we had started talking but I took things a bit further by writing about it. At least I never went through with anything though. I have always stayed faithful to my boyfriend.
1 person likes this
