My 9 year old swore, and said the "C" word!

swearing - swearing, comic book style
@CanadaGal (4304)
Canada
May 26, 2008 12:02pm CST
I live in a townhouse complex with an interesting mix of families. I've talked to some of the kids here and told them it's okay that they come to me if any of my sons have caused any problems, so that I can deal with it, and punish them if necessary, after hearing all sides of the story about what went on. Yesterday was a beautiful day, and all of my boys spent it outside with their friends. Mid afternoon, 2 of the kids in the complex (both around 11 yrs old I believe) came to my door to tell me that my older son, Eric, had been swearing. I thanked them for letting me know, and told them I would deal with it, and then also asked why they came to my place with such a thing because they're guilty of swearing all of the time too? They just shrugged their shoulders and walked away. Silly boys. Anyways... when Eric came in a short while later, I told him of the swearing accusation, and asked him what had happened. He gave me a quick runaround of the events, and admitted to swearing. Then I asked him, "Eric, what swear word did you say?", to which he replied, "I said the 'c' word". I was a bit worried, and asked him to tell me what the word was. "You know, the C word!", he said. I asked him to be more specific. He said, "You know, 'crap'." I then explained that although in the context he used it, it was an inappropriate word, but that it wasn't really a swear word. Then I let it go. Have your kids ever sworn in your presence? If they get told on, like my son did, do they tell you what words they said? Do you have any rules for certain words in your house? Are there any consequences for the misuse of certain words?
4 people like this
13 responses
• United States
26 May 08
Karen I had to laugh reading this... Oh boy do I remember when my boys learned to speak like sailors amongst their peers. Right now my 2 year old grand son is saying son of a B*tch, when he drops something or something is not going his way. As funny as it was the first couple of times I heard him say it, it is not funny any longer... he Dad my son is a gamer, he playes xbox 360 on line, and this is his favorite exclamation when something is not going his way in a game... LMAO He wears a headset when playing and does not realize how loudly he is yelling it when he gets shot...LMAO. poor little Ashton is getting time out corner for only repeating what he's father is saying during games.... LMAO I think DAD is the one that needs the time out corner don;t you?
2 people like this
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
26 May 08
Oh yes... in that case it's the dad that's the instigator. He really needs to stop talking like that around his son until Ashton is a bit older and can better understand not to repeat those things. Granted, kudos do go out to him for saying it in the right context... smart kid!
• United States
26 May 08
My daughter once told me to phuck off, and my toddler son said "Yeah!" I am not the kind of parent that says 'Do as I say and not as I do'. Nor am I the kind of person who takes offense at swearing, I consider them excellent adjectives. I made sure my kids understood though, that while it didn't bother me, most of their teachers and friends parents were not going to feel the same way about it.
1 person likes this
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
26 May 08
I've told the boys that many of those words are not for children to use. I also told them that I am more than aware that they will use those words with their friends, and I cannot stop that. However, I also informed them, that if I heard them say those words, or if those words were ever directed to me, then heads were gonna roll.
• United States
26 May 08
Guess you told them.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 May 08
In addition to making it clear to them that certain behaviors they need to hide from you. It's called teaching them to be sneaky.
1 person likes this
@tessah (6621)
• United States
26 May 08
because of the environment we were in when my little one ws learning her vocabulary.. her cussing occaisionally became a natural state of affairs. (theres still a cloud of obsceneties that hangs over our street set there by my late fatherinlaw LOL) but shes been made aware that they are "inside" words and never uses them outside of the sanctity of the home. i cant very well punish her for doing things her father and i do ourselves, itd be hypocritical. so occaisional cussing theres never been any reprimand for.
1 person likes this
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
26 May 08
I don't usually do much more than say, "Hey! None of that kind of language!". Of course, if they've said something nasty TO someone, they also must apologize. Yeah... it's not good to be hypocritical.
@tessah (6621)
• United States
26 May 08
thankfully thats never been an issue (her swearing at someone) its random conversation.. "mommy youre a badass!" when we are playing wow together and i save her butt from something thats trying to kill her LOL nother gamer incident.. her father was in a battlegrounds and got ticked off cause someone had janked him and she went over and put her hand on his shoulder to comfort him and said, "daddy..its ok.. the gulch is a f*cking b*tch." shes never used any "indoor" language outside the house.. in fact if WE cuss at all and we arent at home.. she corrects and reprimands us for using "indoor" words. lol
1 person likes this
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
27 May 08
That's funny! Kids are so great at keeping parents in line sometimes. :D
• Canada
26 May 08
In our home I will admit I have a potty mouth...My kids since they could be old enough to understand were givin "swear words" that they were allowed to say such as damn, and other made up ones like oh snigglefritz. It is understood that when they are adults they can use the adult words too, but until then they are to use the kid swears. We also had the co-joining respect discussion that they could not use any of the swear words, not even the kids ones to hurt another person. Or there would be consiquences. But rather they could use the kids words if they stubbed their toe, if they were frustrated with the video game those kinds of things. I swear adult swears...noone seems to repeat me all that much, the baby once in awhile til he is old enough to have all the talks...but it really seems to work, and I also made a rule, because I am not big into sensoring my music, that if there is a swear said in a song, they are permitted to sing it as a part of the song only, like "get your A$! on the dance floor" line of a song. It is real, it is out there, they are going to hear it, so I don't sensor it from them, but I teach them how to handle it responsibly. For misuse of words, an appology to the offended party or a days grounding usually, if it was an adult swear....BOTH!
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
26 May 08
Ooohhh... I forgot about the music aspect. I have a few favourite songs that my boys also enjoy listening to, and some have swear words in them (such as a few from the broadway musical "Rent"). I too, let those ones go.
• India
27 May 08
haha...tats a good one...i 1st swore when i was in class 5...well dont have any kids now but lets c when they start swearing :-)
1 person likes this
@Shawchert (1040)
• United States
27 May 08
My son is a tad bit too young to swear yet so i have a long wait for that one to come up, but I do have rules about it. If you don't know what it means and what it can do to a person's feelings or it is against a person in itself it's not to be used,that and the C word (and it isn't crap either lol!) and N word, those are two words i will never allow in my house presence or otherwise.
1 person likes this
• India
27 May 08
Such innocence. My son used his first swear words when he was around 1 yr maybe! Yes…surprising as it may seem, he had picked it up from us. You see, we adults are equally guilty of swearing sometimes of the other, intentionally or unintentionally. Though we all try to be polite and civil in our conversation, sometimes the situation is such that in a fit of anger you use the swear words and that happens at home too. So darling kiddo had picked it up (unknowing to us of course) and then one day he was just playing on the bed and kicking something with his tiny legs and saying the words. At first, we did not understand and then we told him to repeat it which he did (in all glee I must say). What a laugh we had and then seriously, we understood what had happened and from that day we consciously practice no swearing at home. He is 8 now and has not yet used any swear words.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 May 08
ok...that made me laugh. thats awsome. i totally was thinking a different direction than that. yeah i would have let it go too. but still you must have been woried because i bet your mind went the same direction too. thats great. thanks for sharing that.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 May 08
I was planting my garden today and getting harassed by a yellow jacket. I swung the rake at it and said OMG this f'in bee won't die. So my 6 year old smacked it out of the air and stepped on it and said die you f'in bee, die. I yelled at him and told him not to say such bad words and apologized for saying it in front of him and told him I better never hear him say it again. He said he was sorry and that he wouldn't and then when I went back to planting my seeds I saw him go over and stomp the bee into the ground one more time and say "and thats for making mommy yell at me" Too cute. I discourage the use of curse words but sometimes I let them slip so if all the kids are doing is parroting me I have a hard time being too mad about it.
1 person likes this
27 May 08
I grew up in a family that did not swear, but when I met my partner, who grew up in a family that did swear like troopers it was hard when we had kids as they became use to hearing swear words from their dad. At the young age of 11 months my daughter blurted out on a bus "You bas**rd" to my horror and a friend of my mums overheard her in my mothers hall, while trying to wear my mums shoes saying the word f**k. Naturally she did not understand the meaning of these words and I never made an issue out of it as I knew this would make her want to use them even more. I have had an ongoing battle to stop my kids swearing, but the culture they are growing up in, even outside the family home exposes them to every swear word under the sun. I hear parents say to me "My kid does not swear" and I hear myself saying "Yer, just not in front of you" I know it is wrong and in certain contexts I will still chastise my kids for using these words, but I realise that after 9pm on our TV now they are exposed to all the swear words around. I know this is no excuse, maybe I am just to lenient, but if this is their only vice in todays world, then i will let them swear when they feel the need. All it is is a word, if does not hurt someone like the knife culture we have in the UK now, so even if it was seen as wrong years ago, compared to what is out there now I will let it go if it is a way they let off steam. Does this make me a bad mum, I don't think so. I think I am just aware of todays society. I remember what it was like to be a kid and to do the wrong things brought about a certain thrill. In our times though we never had our mates squeal on us as kids do now!!
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
27 May 08
Holy crap! I'm glad it wasn't the OTHER 'c' word! When my youngest was first learning to talk, he had, like a lot of kids, trouble with the 'tr' combination. We were visiting my mother and my son wanted to play with his grandpop's antique fire engine toy. He kept pointing and saying 'F*ck, F*ck, momma, F*ck'. My mother gave me the lecture to end all lectures while she prepared to wash my son's mouth out with soap. I finally got her calmed down enough to hear me tell her he was saying 'truck, truck, momma, truck'. I don't really think she believed me, but oddly, after that falderol, my youngest never asked for the damn truck again! LOL
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164226)
• Garden Grove, California
27 May 08
when my son was in his teens it seemed like all the kids used the f word and that became my pet fuse blower. Ihave always hated to hear anyone break out in a string of those and I told my son he would be grounded for a month if I heard him use the f word. his dad never swore and I keep myself down to a few d**ns. I just grounded him once. but once they are grown then help. I just looked at him my forty nine year old sound who had just lipped off with several f words and said sure wish I could ground you now. He had to laugh and then changed to a few darns instead. lol
@heleni0 (322)
27 May 08
My three year old niece has sworn in front of us twice, both times when she was two. The first time we were at my mom's house watching the Vicar of Dibley on tv, and one of the characters said 'b*t*h. Faithy parroted back what she heard, and was told that the lady on the tele was naughty for saying that word and she must never say it again. The second time, we were in the car and my brother slammed on the brakes suddenly. We all flew forward and Faithy hit her head hard on the headrest, exclaiming, 'Oh, F**k!'. Nothing was really said about it besides, "Well she didn't hear that from me!" I don't swear in front of the children. I've come close a few times though! My brother, sister and I have quite a few substitute words. We don't swear in front of our mother and grandmother either.
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