How would you deal with people who easily pass judgment against others?

@Bebs08 (10685)
United States
May 27, 2008 12:15pm CST
Oh!! this kind of people drives me nuts!! I really don't like them, honestly. Who is not upset when this happen to you? they really know what you have been into and it's none of their business to judge whatever it is? Well, it happens to me that people misjudge me of something, it affects me so much. I want to shout to the world that they are wrong. That others would listen to my explanation. It's really a bad experience. did you experience things like this. How did it affects you and how did you handle it. As usual, it is always good to learn from others. thanks for sharing your ideas.
1 person likes this
16 responses
@dierdre (2209)
• Philippines
27 May 08
oh i just shrug it off and go on with my business, usually people do it to me behind my back anyway, so most of the time i dont have any idea regarding what they are saying. hehe. i think that most people are judgemental by nature anyway.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
28 May 08
oh!! I like that personality. I hope I can just shrug my shoulders over these people but the problem is I am affected and it makes me upset. Well, thanks for learning good points from your idea.
@dierdre (2209)
• Philippines
28 May 08
well sometimes i do get affected (which happens very rarely), especially if what they are saying is true, (i dont get offended if its not) but fortunately, im not a sensitive person per se, so i dont get offended easily (which im thankful for) but if ever i do get offended, i take time to mope, or let of some steam by talking to someone about it, and after a while, just shrug it off. i would advise you to open up to someone when something bothers you, venting helps alot. and i always think that people who talk thrash about other people, especially those who have done nothing wrong to them in the 1st place, are just insecure, envious, just plain mean or judgemental, or does not have anything better to do with their lives so they entertain themselves by picking on other people.
• Philippines
28 May 08
Well for me, I can manage sometimes to ignore these people but there are times that I feel it is too much and it would eat up all my patience and there..I burst and say what I would want to say. But if we could just ignore them. Maybe they would stop doing it if people could see no proof of what they say, and nobody give importance to it. just keep cool. They will stop when you don't mind then... Good luck
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
29 May 08
that's right, Maybe that is the good thing to do. thanks for the reply.
@kalav56 (11497)
• India
28 May 08
How true! But let me tell you one thing. People, if they have decided to think of you in poor light or have their own misconceptions in some issue , this can never be changed. They jump to this conclusion because they do not think favourably of you or they don't like you. I have gone through all this and now I have realized that the more you explain and try to prove yourself they still do not believe you.You see, the base should have been there. Take an example--there is a confrontation between A and you and there is the need for some outsiders to mediate or resolve the issue OR EVEN if they are involved in some way-now, if these outsiders have a soft spot for you they would at least give you the benefit of doubt.If not , you would always be branded. There is no point in worrying about what other people think .We should only not hurt others and get along with our own lives. People are in many cases forgetful, need based, live for the moment and are biassed. Unbiassed people do not do this and there is no point talking to these who would not listen because we are only going to bang against a brick wall.What is the point trying to convince someone else of our nature/intentions/ whatever. We should only listen to our inner conscience and abide by our duties adn not worry about what these people think. I am saying all this but it is very difficult- only positive outcome is i know what must be done-whether I do it or not is another question .i have to try for all that I have written. i am also an imperfect human being who knows what should be done in theory but find it difficult when it comes to practice.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
28 May 08
You are right!! exactly right when you said, it is easier said than done. correct, I agree with it. I like your ideas.. you have good points here. Thanks for sharing.
• United States
27 May 08
I think that we all pass judgement without meaning to sometimes. We simply have to remember this. We all do it. How do we know that someone we perceived as being rude to us didn't just get horribly treated themselves or got some bad news and that's not the way they really are. Or perhaps they are terrible insecure with themselves and that's why they judge so harshly.
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
27 May 08
oh!! well you have a point but!! we should always remind ourselves that passing judgment can not do good to anyone. Yes, we all do, but if we remind ourselves not to do it, maybe we could avoid it too. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 May 08
you're so welcome. It's hard to not pass judgment-I don't believe its something that we are born with-I think that it is learned somehow.
@subha12 (18452)
• India
29 May 08
actually some people just love to pass comments. it also drives me nuts. its very very bad. they actually do not see what lies behind what they are seeing in front of them.its actually inhuman to pass comments.
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
29 May 08
Well, I agree with you. thanks for sharing....
@deskue (35)
• United States
28 May 08
Yea I know the type. My wife's family is full of them. I still love them and all but they drive me crazy! It is always difficult to deal with this type of situation because I think everyone at some time judges someone else, it is human nature, wrong but human nature. Maybe if we can somehow show them what they are doing and make it seem really really anoying they will see just what they are doing and become somewhat humbled. Sometimes I think people just don't think especially when they are not on the receiving end! Judge not lest ye be judged yourselves.
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
29 May 08
you're right!! thanks for the reply
@chiyosan (30194)
• Philippines
28 May 08
i think all of us have somehow passed judgement in our daily lives and we do not intend to do so. if of course, it is intended... i think its just up to the person to ignore the judgement given to him/her more so if it is not even true.
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
28 May 08
well, you are right!! but it is normal for us to feel bad when people misjudge us for something we don't even think of doing. Thanks for sharing your ideas.
• China
28 May 08
Sometimes I come across the same scene as you do.If it place in before,I will shout to them to make them shut up,but at last I find it brings nothing but problems,so now I always keep quiet towards the points I don't agree with for I value the famous saying that:"I don't agree with you,but I will devote my life to protect you right of expressing yourself".
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
28 May 08
oh!! that's cute!!! good you can hold your temper. thanks for sharing that.
@syeryn (574)
• United States
27 May 08
People do it everyday and oftentimes they do not even realize they do it. I never let it bother me, if I did, I would be empowering them and I would rather keep the power over who I am and how I feel right here in my own hands.
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
28 May 08
hahaha!! that;s a good idea too. thanks for sharing.
@sherrir101 (3676)
• Malinta, Ohio
27 May 08
Wouldn't having an opinion on the person who judges you so easily be the same as passing some sort of judgement on them? I am not quick to judge others unless they are judging me. I am still learning to deal with this problem.
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
28 May 08
I do too. The only thing is they are driving me crazy when they started to misjudge me of something. thanks for sharing.
• United States
27 May 08
I try myself not to judge anyone though at times I must say it is hard. And as far as someone passing judgement on me well really It has no affect on my life so I just let it be I am miss judged all the time because of the way I look I have 13 tattos and some are large and can be seen so I know how it feels. But I am so used to it I just brush it off now like I said they have no affect on my life so let them think what they want I love my ink I love myself most of the time so please dodnt let what others think get to you. any way what really counts is what you think of your self
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
28 May 08
wow!!! I admire your positive attitude towards yourself. That is good!! You have a different perspective in life. Others are very much affected when they are misjudged by others. You're cool!!! Thanks for sharing.
@mentalward (14695)
• United States
27 May 08
I try very hard not to judge people because you just never know why they are like they are. I'm not always successful, but most of the time I am. If I knew someone like you described, who judges people constantly, I'd first find out if they were a Christian, if I did not know already. If they are, I'd remind them that it is not our place to judge. They will be judged later. I'd also say that they should read their Bible again. But it does not good most of the time because people like this will almost always be like this. They are insecure people who are trying to bring others down below their level, thereby making themselves feel superior. I read a quote once, can't remember who said it, but here it is: "Small minds try to belittle the skills of others." That person you speak of has a very small mind.
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
27 May 08
you are right!! I agree with you. People who are judgmental are insecure. thanks for sharing your ideas.
@spalladino (17921)
• United States
27 May 08
I know a woman who is like that and it used to drive me nuts because she didn't give people a chance. About four years ago I changed my life completely, quit a good job, sold my house and moved 1,000 miles away to a small, country town with my husband. Because people didn't know me they made judgements about me which have been wrong more than right. I'm college educated but a lot of people treated me like I was stupid when they first met me.
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
27 May 08
Oh!! that's bad. I agree that there are people who are like that. Good that your husband is very supportive of you. Yes, right!! it's better to stay away from people who are mean and passing judgment without thinking. thanks for sharing your thoughts.
@anawar (2406)
• United States
27 May 08
People who judge others do not affect the person they are judging. They only define themselves as someone who judges other people. I don't judge people because it's possible I did the same thing they are doing, or I will later. If I'm dumb and do judge someone, somehow I end up in the same situation and choose the same reaction as the person I judged. I try to live and let live, always seeing the positive side in everyone.
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
27 May 08
An that!! you are exactly right!!! don't judge so that you will not be judged too. that is according to the Bible. Thanks for your reply.
@ade4real (30)
• Nigeria
28 May 08
people that pass jugdement easily do so because they are insecure and lack self confidence ,there is no perfect man,we ALL MAKE MISTAKES, no body is immune to that.I personally ignore such people.www.achieversideas.com
@madlees (1381)
• India
28 May 08
Hi Bebs, Dealing with people who judges you without trying to understand you is easy. Just avoid them, that is the only way out of it. But try not to judge people, have you ever tried not to? It is very very difficult. We cannot stop at all. When we see some one doing something, the comments come up. It is very difficult to stop it. That's why all sorts rating problems are going on here at mylot. Sometimes people do not understand why the responder is responding like that. May be that person has had a bad experience, so give benefit of doubt. No but no one does that.. If you do something at your place you are commented up on. Some people are there just for this. If it is not their way of thinking, then it is bad, so comment on them. I have been frank many times and have faced this problem all my life. Anyone can say that they never say it but when the time comes for them they also say it. You can never stop that.. There is a saying in our country, "sitting in a glass cell and throwing stones at others.." That is what is happening ..