help

United States
May 28, 2008 3:23am CST
I am so bad with finances that it has reached a point where I am almost always broke. I don't work, am a stay a home mom. My husband works thank god he makes good money but it seems that no matter how much money he gives me it goes so fast and sometimes i don't even know how or where it went. I have a problem with saying no to anyone that asks me for a loan or if I see someone that is in need i have a problem turning my back on them even if I only have 10 or 20 dollars left in my pocket i give it to them and always say that they need it more then i do. I can't say no to anything my kids ask for even if I know that they can go with out it. Sometimes i myself wind up borrowing because i gave what ever money I had left to someone that i think needs it more then i do and half of the times my husband doesn't even know that i do this and when i ask for more money he asks me what i did with the rest and i can't tell him because i don't like anyone to know that i helped someone. What would you do in my situation and how would you slow down or stop?
5 responses
@sminut13 (1786)
• Singapore
30 May 08
i too have similar problems though when people ask me for money, if i really feel that it might not be enough till the next pay, then i'll let them know. it's really awkward but can't help it. i'm also a stay home mom and my hubby usually gives an allowance for like a month. of course, i usually ask him if it's not enough. what i do is when he gives me the allowance, i immediately set aside minimum $50 to save and never use it. i either put it in the bank or continue this for a few months till i have something accummulated. then i use the rest of the money for expenses. i ask my hubby for more if it's not enough. but he doesn't really ask me where i spent and all as i don't really go out by myself and when i do, i let him know. so he more or less knows what i have bought. he's not that fussy about it. he just gives me if i ask. if your hubby asks, let him know what you have spent on, like the basics. and give him an estimation of how much that cost and how much you have left. that way, i feel that he'll be up to date on the house expenses and thus, won't really ask many questions. this is just what i do for myself. i hope this or other suggestions work out for you. best of luck
• United States
31 May 08
I have been getting such good advice from all I don'nt even know which advice to follow anymore thank to you and the rest for your response
@ruby222 (4848)
28 May 08
Oh ive read your post,and with the rsing costs of everything today its so hard to keep pace with everything.But you are going to have to be strong mine...and determined..that the only people that you are in a postion to help at the moment is yourself and your family.Those who ask for money from you just cannot have it,and they will have to understand that.You know the best thing that my help you is to get some jars ..and then use each jar for money to be used for a particular thing.One jar ..money for food..one for kids sweetie money..etc...and stick to it....just be firm..its the only way to help yourself....good luck xx
• United States
31 May 08
I like your idea about the jars. I think i will try using different jars thanks for your response.
@kosykosy (160)
• Ghana
28 May 08
Hi, I'd suggest that you tell your husband what you have been doing with the money as a first step to solving this problem. It has now become a secret that you keep from your husband. It may make him start bearing you a secret grudge, thinking you're a money-guzzler or something. Next, I know its difficult, but learn to say no! Its one of the points my psychology lecturer gave us in 'Self-care'. You'll run yourself down if you don't. Then, if you are a Christian, you can adopt the 80-10-10 principle. Ten percent of your money goes to God, as your tithe. Ten percent goes into savings, either to your bank account, stocks or bonds, or mutual funds, and then you use the 80 percent. If you decide you want to give 50% of the 80 away, then at least its planned. Then you are in control of your spending and you can make a budget - toiletries, provisions for the kitchen, etc. I hope this all works out. God bless.
• United States
28 May 08
Thanks for your advise i think that I will try it.
@tryxiness (4548)
• Philippines
28 May 08
I think it is more of simply thinking the needs of your family rather than of others. I am not being selfish, but I guess, it is more important to attend to you family needs, I guess. :)
• United States
28 May 08
attending to your family needs is not being selfish you are right that should be above all else but sometimes if you see that your family has everything that it needs and more it is nice to think of others. But I think that sometimes i go overboard and that is what i am trying to stop. Thx for your response.
@heartsoul (311)
• China
28 May 08
Try to overcome your desire for spending money and save money as possible. Earning money is a no easy job. So please cherish the harvest. Where there is a will, there is a way. Have a nice day!
• United States
28 May 08
Your words are true but it is easier said then done believe me i have tried but maybe not hard enough we will see. thx for your response.