Does Your Mom Ever Drive You Crazy?

My Mum does the same thing - although she doesn't always go on about my partner! My Mum lives about 1 1/2 hours away from here & since my daughter was born, she has insisted on routine visits. To begin with, she was visiting my place weekly & when that got too much for her she wanted to come up here 1 week & have me go to her place the following week. Eventually i had enough & told her weekly was too often so i got the guilt trip about how she does everything for me & i don't appreciate the help she gives me when i ask for it or when she offers it. I managed to get the visits down to fortnightly (bi-weekly) but they have now been going on for over 18 months (my daughter will be 2 in a week) & it's getting incredibly frustrating. I am 33 1/2 weeks pregnant & am hoping she'll get over her obsession soon as i cant be bothered going down there any more as frequently as she wants but trying to get her to understand is another thing. I don't think she realises how tiring the trips are for me (even before i was pregnant again) & she seems to think that if she doesn't get routine visits that we're trying to cut her out of our daughter's life - which is NUTS. I think she just needs to back off a little & perhaps you should try telling your Mum something along the same lines. Just let her know that you don't appreciate being made to feel guilty when she doesn't get her own way with seeing you & her Grandkids & that when you have the time & money to visit, then that's when you'll visit! I plan on doing the very same thing soon with my Mum coz if i don't tell her straight then she'll wriggle her way out of hearing it & i cant have that going on for any longer than i already have. Reassure her you'll be visiting, just let her know that visits are important to you as well but that you don't always have the free time or the extra money to do things when she wants them done. Good Luck!

Mmmm...I think guilt trips caused by mother's goes as far back as time itself..LOL. I have to admit I'm in a much calmer frame of mine ever since my mother passed away...I know that might sound harsh, but talk about driving me out of my mind...the worse was the fact that I still was living with her, and the last year of her life, I was her caregiver taking care of her..she refused any outside help, when she could have had a visiting nurse...did she want that? Nope. But my mother was real good with the guilt trips starting back as far as I could remember. First...my parents were divorced when I was really young..growing up I never heard one nice thing about my father from her...then she turn around and say, "Oh, you're just like your father..have his personality." Is it any wonder I developed a try to please and seek approval attitude through my life? Then she constantly say too, your father was so disappointed you hadn't be a boy...gee, thanks Then she made me feel guilty as I wanted to follow my goals. Like gee, what's wrong with that? In school I had always been a science geek, so it was assumed when I went to college I'd be a female Einstein...nope, my bliss was always the creative arts...I've been involved with them all, music, dance, art, writing...but I wound up a Drama major...yup wanted to be an actress but also loved scenic design..well, you can imagine that went over REAL big with her....NOT--like what was the big deal..she had aspirations to be a fashion designer when she was younger. Anyway, I remember not long after I graduated college she was in one of her hissy fits and blurted out.."Of all the people, you're the only one to have gone to college..and what were you? A Drama Major...big f*cking deal"--That really slapped me in the face as my college years were my best years of my life, felt good about myself, my self esteem was way up, and for her to say that really stung. So lets see..maybe we should give a Mommie Dearest award to our moms??

My mother would never get away with treating me the way you say your mother treats you. Mom still finds her ways to drive me absolutely crazy at times, but she usually backs off when she sees that I am not going to put up with crap!

She used to but now that I've grown up and become more mature i realise that she is there to help me and she no longer drives me crazy. She actually conforts me and helps me out and gives me good advice.

Guess what? that's what mothers are for. Listen, I'm going to be 35 at the end of June and my mother is still the #1 fear factor in my life. It's gotten so that even my kids are scared of her. But, it's not because she's some horrible monster from under my bed, but because she demands...and rightfuly deserves respect. Perhaps your mother is giving you the guilt trip about the grandparents because she sees her own mortality. Perhaps her seeing her parents/in law being in their health position has made her realize how precious life and children can be. About six months ago, my life was going to pot and I wanted to get away from my controling husband. At one point, I thought about running away with my children from the west side of the United States to the east coast. But, luckily my father stopped me from that. He said that he thinks its sad that as he grows older, he has little to no contact with his family...he wants to keep his daughters close to him so they can enjoy their last years with the ones they love. About the hubby...you're on your own. Though, I can totally understand why your mom and family are going so down on him. Just because he's in Graduate School doesn't give him the right to not treat you good...and you've kept this up for three years? You don't have to. My third husband was a charmer. He lead me to believe that living like some kind of meek female, giving our money to the pastor while our living conditions worsened was ok. He did and said other things that makes me mad now that I allowed it to happen...that I was seeing the things he was doing and excusing him. A friend of mine once said, "If I had a woman who excused the things I was doing like you do, I wouldn't consider myself a man." If you mother didn't love and care for you, she would turn her back to you or close her eyes at the things you're doing. She's probably thinking you can do better for yourself...after all, think of all the times she held you when you were just a baby, rocked you to sleep and had all sorts of dreams and visions for you when you got older.