Does your spouse make a mess and then ask why you never clean up?
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
United States
May 29, 2008 12:16pm CST
Does your spouse (or kids) ever blame you for the mess they make and expect you to clean up after them, even though they're more than capable of cleaning up after themselves? Do they think you're a bad homemaker because you don't run around picking up every little thing they put on the floor? How do you cure family of this annoying habit?
My spouse does this all the time. He comes in from work and leaves his stuff everywhere. By the time he gets home, the rest of the house is asleep, so I don't have the chance to pick up after him. He leaves a trail of clothes and shoes, jackets and books. Last night he left the groceries on the counter and just went to bed. I guess he was too tired to put them up. He put up the milk, so it didn't spoil. I should be thankful for that. It could be worse.
He's smarter than to say something about the messy house openly. But sometimes he looks sad and says, "I know you have a busy day being a mom and can't get around to all the cleaning!" Its on those days that I want to pull my hair out! Or, his hair! I clean all the time! It's a non-stop job. Between my online job, taking care of my kid and cleaning up little messes all day, I'm surprised that I even have enough time left for sleeping and eating.
I spend half the evening tidying up the house so things look nice when he walks in. I fall into bed exhausted and then he makes a mess and assumes I just didn't have time to clean the house. Now, isn't that just rich? He makes the mess and I get blamed for it. How bogus.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
2 Jun 08
Oh, I like that one! How clever. Must post that above my desk.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
2 Jun 08
My husband's the same...and following him, my older son has started too....but he doesn't get away with it like daddy. At first I would tell my husband and then pick up after him...but it got harder after I had the kids. The thing I hated the most was wet towels on the bed. Thankfully, he's stopped that after all the nagging.
Yesterday(Sunday), I had to work and I cleaned the whole house before I left. I came back after a couple of hours to a home that looked like a warzone! And my husband had nothing else to do besides take care of the kids. I'm usually cooking and cleaning....as well as taking care of the kids and picking up after them (actually only the younger one...the older one cleans up after himself).
And my husband thinks sitting at home is the easiest thing in the world...when he's in a good mood he does say things like 'I know how hard it is for you to do everything alone and manage the kids too'...but he forgets it the moment he has to put his clothes in the hamper or keep something back after he's used it.
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
2 Jun 08
Yes! Yes! Yes! My guy is the same way! Isn't that ironic. Guys are the same way, the world over. Mine is always acting like his job is so much more stressful than mine. I am staying here at the house, so he imagines that cleaning is all I have to do with my day. Not so! But, I do the cleaning everyday and look after my child and work online. And, do a ton of other stuff that is required for the house to run smoothely. Men have no idea of the things we have to do. Best of luck! Thanks for chatting with me today. Always nice to talk to you.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
30 May 08
When you figure out how to get them to pick up, let me know. I have a son that follows in the footsteps.
@carlaabt (3504)
• United States
30 May 08
My husband is finally starting to see how fast stuff gets messed up around here, and he's starting to understand that it isn't that I'm not cleaning it, it's just that between our 2 year old child, our 3 dogs, and our cat, stuff just gets messed up really fast. I'm really lucky because my husband does most of the laundry and dishes when he's only working 40 hours a week. I do most of the rest of the cleaning, though. And sometimes he will make comments about something being messy. I tell him I just cleaned it, and he makes some comment about it being a mess. Well, recently he cleaned our bedroom, and he really went at it. He moved stuff around, got some stuff out of there, organized some other stuff, etc. Within about 3 days, it was just as messy as ever! I keep telling him that until we have somewhere to PUT some of the stuff in there, we can't really keep it as clean as I would like. I think now he's finally understanding what I'm saying. He bought shelving the other day to finally convert one of the closets in the spare room into a linen closet. That will really help out with the extra stuff in our room!
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
2 Jun 08
You're so brilliant! That's exactly what I need, more stuff to store things in. I gave up most of my storage containers to the baby when she was born. And, now those containers are gone and I have to get some place to put my stuff. The same situation happens in my house. I pick everything up and then ten minutes later, it is all over the floor.
Yesterday, I cleaned up some abc magnetic letters and kids card games off the floor and had them put into their own containers. And, my daughter came into the room and saw that they were organized and literally dumped everything out on the floor in front of her (on the same spot where I had cleaned them up) and then left them there. She didn't even bother playing with them. I had no idea she was doing that kind of thing. I will need new strategies for dealing with this! LOL!
@eihdra (3115)
• Philippines
30 May 08
My ex was all that you mentioned..but that's not all, after using the bathroom, the shampoo, soap and toothpaste are all over the sink,why can't he just put it back where he got it? Not to mention the toothpaste stain and shaving residues are all over the floor as well..The hamper is just next to the bathroom door, but still can't put the dirty clothes inside, instead it's on the top of the hamper, waiting for me to put them inside! He drinks a glass of water and just leave it at the table. After awhile, he'll drink again using another glass and leaves it there, until there will be at least 5 or more glasses that he alone used, all lined up on the table waiting for me to wash them..That goes the same with the plates and cups and saucers..And he had the nerve to ask me why I haven't washed the dishes yet..When he clearly saw that I was busy picking up his other mess while sweeping the floor at the same time.`
One day I finally had it- went out of the house and left all his mess. I went shopping and watched a movie 
..
..@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
2 Jun 08
Yep! At least mine has the decency to use the same glass next time he wants water. I may switch to paper plates and plastic cups, if he picks up your ex habits. Thanks for chiming in. Always fun to read your post.
@jonesy123 (3948)
• United States
29 May 08
Same here except my husband something tells me directly that I'm a messy homemaker. I simply reply that he has two capable hands and an able body himself and if he would start picking up after himself and pitch in here and there I would have a perfect and sparkly home...
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
2 Jun 08
I have told mine the same thing this past week! He will make a comment about needing something when he can clearly see I'm busy and I just tell him, that unless his legs are broken, he needs to get off the couch and get it himself. My hubby is a real sweetie, but he doesn't put the pieces together sometimes! LOL!
