How do you tell a two-year old about death?

@liquorice (3887)
May 29, 2008 6:00pm CST
Hmm, this is a bit of a heavy topic and I didn't think I'd have to face talking to my daughter about this for a good long while, but it has come up. She has noticed photos around the house of relatives who aren't around any more, and has started asking "who's that?". I know this is completely understandable (and it's good that she's curious!), and obviously it's something I had anticipated happening, I just didn't expect to have to think about it just yet... So far she's been happy with me saying "man", or "lady", but she's becoming more inquisitive by the day. I'd really like to tell her who they all are as they're special people to me and of course I'd like her to know about them, but I don't know how I'd answer her when she asks me where they are. My partner and myself are pretty much agnostic, but even if we went for the explanation that they've gone to heaven, isn't that a really difficult concept for a two-year old to understand? How and when did you explain about death to your kids? Can anyone give me some advice on how to give a simple, and preferably honest, explanation suitable for a two-year old (if there's such a thing!?)
6 people like this
4 responses
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
29 May 08
I don't have children of my own but I have had a few children around me, I think a nice way to do it is to buy a nice book maybe about fairies or angels read it to her then next time she asks questions remind her about the book and explain that they are now angels and maybe even that they are watching and looking afte her, which is something I firmly believe as I do believe in spirit guides..just a thought...
@liquorice (3887)
11 Jun 08
Thanks for your reply. It's a nice suggestion to buy a book, and I quite like the whole fairy/angel idea as it's something that she'll understand a little bit, and it's also comforting.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
29 May 08
As hard as it is you have to answer your child's questions but only to the extent that she's interested. It's okay to say "That's my Aunt Jane" and, if she asks where he is, "She's not here anymore" and see if you can get away with redirecting the conversation a little bit with something like, "and boy did she bake a great apple pie". When she gets around to asking where she went you're just going to have to be vague if you don't want to bring religion into the discussion. My grandkids know what angels are and they've seen pictures of them. Maybe, when she asks, you can show her a picture of an angel and tell her that, when people get very old, they go to live with the angels who take care of them. That's something a child can understand. You don't know where the angels live because they are angels.
@liquorice (3887)
10 Jun 08
Yes, I think you're right. I don't want to start with any heavy explanations if she's going to be happy with a really simple, short answer. She's very inquisitive so she'll probably want to know where they are and when she'll see them etc.. Since I started this discussion she's lost interest a bit but I know it's something I need to be prepared for again soon. I like your idea about angels too. It's something nice for a child to imagine. Thanks for your reply.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
30 May 08
I would tell her that they are in heaven now and let it go at that. she will not think much about that at only two and later you can explain more about heaven. just tell her its a nice place people go to when they' grow old. she will not need lenghty explanations yet at all.
1 person likes this
@liquorice (3887)
16 Jun 08
Yes, I agree I need to keep it simple, thanks for your answer.
@sassyass (28)
16 Jun 08
right now she only 2 yrs old..she just learning things now..i have a 2yr old and a 5yr old and my 2 yr old ask stuff like that and i just say they are with God...now when she gets about 5 or so and she ask i think u should tell her..i lost my grandma not long ago and my 5 yr old everytime she see her pic she like there grandma and she with God now..so i think then when its a good time 2 tell them