Do You Have Any Tips For A Happy Marriage..?

@eihdra (3116)
Philippines
May 30, 2008 7:17am CST
How long have you been married? Are you happy and contented? If yes, what are your suggestions to make it a lot stronger? I would surely wanna know. It's not that I'm not happy, but your responses will be highly appreciated. I believe that sharing your happy married life will be a great help to some of us who have found the right man but would still wanna know how to keep him happy always..thanks in advance..
5 people like this
17 responses
@jillbeth (2710)
• United States
30 May 08
We just celebrated our 20th anniversary this month! I'm basically contented, could be better but could be a lot worse! I think one of the most important qualities of a successful marriage is that you both must be willing to compromise. We can't expect to have things our own way, all the time! Pick your battles, fight for what is most important to you, and let the rest slide. You also need to be able to accept your partners faults along with his strengths. None of us is perfect. Do his good points far outweigh the bad? If so, he's a keeper! And I think it is important to share a sense of humor, to be able to laugh at the same things together. Me, I'm usually laughing at my husband, he is so goofy sometimes! He'd make a great clown. I also think that to be in a happy marriage, you each have to be happy BEFORE you're married. Marriage won't cure misery, sometimes it only adds to it....
2 people like this
• United States
30 May 08
Jillbeth, I had to say what you said about being happy before marriage is so true. I used to be a miserable person and got married thinking it would make me happier. It made me more miserable and I married a miserable person. When I decided I controlled my life and found that I could find happiness inside myself that is when I got divorced and ended up finding a great love to share my happiness with. I just wanted to say you are so right on with your last two sentences.
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
2 Jun 08
hi. Congrats on your 20th. My husband and I are on our 8th and going strong..My dad used to say your "pick your battles..and let the rest slide..."..And I found that to be true..During our first two years, we fought almost everyday because I don't let any fight slide. But, since I don't wanna lose him, I changed..Thanks so much for the advice. I pray that our marriages last forever..
@alienstar (5143)
• India
31 May 08
Happy marriage depends on mutual trust, love nad understanding and one should love his partner more and more more and the respect shoudl also be more twoarsd his partner and the trust between each other should be strong and then if they understand each other , then i don't think you need any otehr recipe for happy marriage
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
29 Jun 08
thanks..
• United States
2 Jun 08
actually eihdra I have to say that to get married with a stranger is the biggest mistake I ever did in mylife.I thought my life turns into cinderella kind story but I was wrong!!My life turns more miserable than I was single before.Oh well that was before and now I would say I'm happy that we are in the process of divorce:-) I learn a lesson though that we get married someone make sure you love him,he loves you and most of all you have respect to each other. have a good day!
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
29 Jun 08
at least you were able to get out of that miserable marriage..And I'm glad you're happy now..So, lessons learned and make the right choice next time..thanks...
• United States
31 May 08
I'm sure you've read some of my other posts about my own relationship woes. So, I won't even begin to pretend to be a relationship expert. We have our good times and bad times. Mostly we have both in the same day. I think most couples have the occasional spat or disagreement. The important thing is that you love each other. And, that love will see you through everything.
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
29 Jun 08
thanks, BQ..
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
31 May 08
My marriage is turning 23 years old this June 9 and would simply say I am very happy and very contended. The secret ... Well, maybe I am just very blessed to have married the right man because I really prayed hard for that. Other important tips follow: 1. It helps a lot if the woman is submissive to man because after all God said that the man is really the head of the woman. And should you really be submissive you will also see how your husband will love you even more. 2. Always have special time for the two of you alone even at least once a week. A time when only the two of you will go on date just as when you were still unamarried. Go to your favorite place where you can eat.. talk about sweet memories...do things you both like and enjoy doing together. 3. Be the best wife and mother that you could be. Be responsible, be hardworking, manage the household as diligently as you could. A virtuous woman is never lazy. 4. Be understanding of his faults and shortcomings. Don't ever nag but do not tolerate. Always talk with him in a nice way you could. If you feel like you really have something to confront him with then do so but in a way he would still feel the love and respect...not to start a fight but for him to understand your feelings and for him to realize he wronged you and in the end say sorry to you. Don't ever do the cold-treatment because it does not really solve the problem. 5. Always be beautiful and fit for him. Don't give him the reason to look for a more desirable and attractive woman. Both of you must keep your faithfulness and of course your trust for each other. 6. Always make him feel your love during your intimate moments and never never deprive him of his need as a man. 7. There are a lot more but I would not want to miss the most important factor of all. Always pray for your husband just as you do also to your children. Have a special time with God where you can pray for your husband and for your children as well. And at night before you sleep hold your hands and together you pray so that God will keep you going! I hope you find this useful. God bless!
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
29 Jun 08
hehehehe i listed them all down and kept it in my wallet, so that I could easily get it and read it whenever we have disagreements... thanks...
30 May 08
I have been married for close to two years, so I may not be fully qualified to respond, but I can incorporate some things I've noticed with my parents who have been married for 25 years. 1. You have to be able to accept the good and the bad, unless the spouse in dangerous. 2. Be honest with each, but do so gently. 3. Remember why you fell in love. 4. Keep going on dates or doing whatever you did while dating. 5. Remember that you're not the only one with needs. Lay things out early on or discuss them as they come up. 6. NEVER go to be angry with each other; life is too short. 7.Keep everything in perspective 8.Always have fun. My husband and I do all of the above and we're still falling more in love with each day - I hate how cheesy that sounds, but it's true.
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
29 Jun 08
yeah it sounds cheesy alright but if that's what makes your marriage stronger and lovelier each and everyday, then we should all do it...thanks..
• United States
30 May 08
Always be honest. Never be afraid or too proud to say I'm sorry when you realize you were wrong. Show affection at unexpected times. Laugh a lot! Try to be involved in your partners hobbies. Keep the lines of communication wide open. If you can't express your thoughts and feelings to your spouse they probably won't express theirs to you. And Laugh some more!
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
29 Jun 08
the laughing part, we lack sometimes..but, we're getting better each day..thanks..
@makingpots (11916)
• United States
30 May 08
I will celebrate my 20 year wedding anniversary this December. We are happy and contented. My suggestions: Communication, communication, communication. Realize that there are just going to be some rough patches, but if you are good about communicating with each other you will be able to work through anything. And of course, a healthy dose of love helps. Make sure you really love the person and not just the idea of the person.
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
2 Jun 08
well advanced happy 20th anniversary to you!thanks for the suggestion..
• United States
30 May 08
It was only been a year but it seems like forever already lol! Well, all marriage go through adjustments.COMMUNICATION is very much important, I have such a hard time speaking up my mind before and because of the fear i end up not telling the truth which really is bad. It ruins the TRUST which also plays a vital role in the relationship.LOVE of course, you shouldn't stop loving each other... you both should have the attitude of pleasing each other or spoiling each other... and NEVER sleep when the problem haven't been resolved yet. It's also good to fight, it tightens the bond but always maintain the RESPECT, don't curse or say something you will regret afterwards. There are lots of tips, specific ways but I'm just giving you the general ones. Hope I have helped.
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
2 Jun 08
thanks..I'll remember those four aspects...
@julianarw (1521)
• Netherlands
30 May 08
I think the most important in marriage life is respect each other. and don't try to change your partner character. December this year, will be our 4th anniversary :D
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
2 Jun 08
thanks..
@p_vadla (1685)
• India
30 May 08
I think both the partners have to decide to be happy, 'no matter what happens....'. I believe this to hold good for both individuals and for couples. Setting common goals, identifying each other's limits and respect opinions are some of the steps that a couple can take before plunging in to wed lock.
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
2 Jun 08
thanks..
@youless (104244)
• Guangzhou, China
30 May 08
Marriage is a complicated thing to learn how to make it last forever. I think the communication and trust are very important to the marriage. And sometimes learning how to give in is also necessary. I love China
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
2 Jun 08
thanks..
@chubibo (294)
• Philippines
30 May 08
marriage - happy marriage
im not married yet but i have five tips or secret of a happy marriage.these might be just a guide to those married people who experienced some difficulties in married life..1. remind yourself that it okay to be angry, and dont feel guilty on having those angry feelings. 2. understand that although you disagree, you are not enemies. 3. never used something that has been previously told to you in confidence as a weapon in argument. 4. never walked out of the room until you either both agree that an argument is over or have decided to table the problem and chosen a specific time to bring it up again. 5. acknowledge each other's feelings and perceptions, without judgement or criticism.. happy posting!
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
2 Jun 08
hey chubibo, thanks for all those tips!!
@anonymili (3138)
30 May 08
There are so many different things we can try to have a happy, successful and long-lasting marriage, but people differ in what they consider to be happy or successful. Some people believe you can survive on love alone, some people believe you have to be financially stable, some think you need kids to cement your relationship - it all comes down to you at the end of the day. One of the most important things I try to remember with my hubby is to try to understand his needs and he tries to understand mine. If I am in a bad mood he will ask me why and try to make me feel better. And if he's in a bad mood I will try to help him get over it. We never go to sleep on an argument, i.e. we make up before going to sleep or things can drag out and escalate. I am not the jealous type nor is my husband. He is quite free to tell me if he thinks another woman is attractive and I don't start freaking out thinking he's in love with her and I am the same with him. Mutual trust is important as is respect. Here are some websites with handy tips: http://marriage.families.com/blog/tentipsforahappymarriage http://www.anysubject.com/marriage-problem-tips-for-a-happy-marriage-secret-of-a-happy-marriage.asp http://www.ldslivingmagazine.com/articles/show/1303
1 person likes this
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
2 Jun 08
for me, those are some of the most important things - love,financial stability and kids..yeah we do that too, make up before we go to sleep because I for one can't sleep if my head and chest are aching to say my piece. Thanks so much for the sites, i'd check those for sure.thanks..
@Hanz08 (47)
• Malaysia
30 May 08
for COMMUNICATION is very very important...of course you will marriage to someone that you love.. but communication before and after marriage is something different... always have a good communication....
• United States
30 May 08
It is very very important to have good communication. I think that communicating your needs, wants, desires, feelings, and when you have problems is one of the most important parts of a marriage. A lot of fights can be avoided when you talk about everything.
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
2 Jun 08
thanks..
@knightrider (1083)
• India
30 May 08
i have been happily married for 9 years .i feel there is no magic formula for happy and contented marrried life .but the key factor is to love and trust your partner . communication is another very important factor ,we should share our feelings ,likes ,dislikes fears ,hopes sadness and happiness .sharing brings us closer to each other.
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
29 Jun 08
thanks for the insight...
@adrico (204)
• China
30 May 08
well i am the first man who respond this discussion.but i havent been married.i am really sorry for that i cant to share the ture life of happy married .but i think the idea of equal in ecomical ,mental and social is the most important for marriage which can lead you life to be happy....and the others i have not got the idea,hehe..i be glad and appreciate to get more ideas from others...
@eihdra (3116)
• Philippines
2 Jun 08
so, browse all the responses so you could get lots of tips on how to have a happy and lasting marriage..Thanks too..