my daughter not paying attention to me

May 31, 2008 6:16pm CST
I have a 5 year old daughter who is not good in focus. She used to know the ABC song before and now she is struggling and doing the same mistake over and over..I try with her very patient but she doesn't get it. It drives me crazy because she used to sing it long time ago. in her screening for the kindergarten the report shows she is below average and I am not happy with that. I used to be very good in school and always the best in class. I think I don't know how to get her back as she used to be before very smart. she knew all names of animals when she was 18months. she was potty trained also 18months ..totally trained with no any accident. I feel disappointed now. I don't know what should I do to increase her focus skills. She speaks two languages and in the report they told me it's a language barrier and I disagree with that. I need to hear from each one who would suggest something. thanks
3 people like this
13 responses
1 Jun 08
It was your remark that she used to know the ABC song but no longer that caught my attention. I'm not diagnosing anything, I can only say what I see in my experience. I work with children who are autistic. One characteristic of them is that they'll start out knowing something and then regress. They might forget their letters, numbers or colours. They will stop making eye contact. There are so many different indications and all can point to a multitude of learning disabilities. It's hard not to expect our kids to brilliant like ourselves. I myself love reading and did very well in school. Now I have a daughter who dislikes reading and was diagnosed with several auditory processing and memory problems. We work with that and we still love her. So by all means, contact your pediatrician and school counselor to get her checked out.
1 Jun 08
Appreciate your comment. Made me feel I am not alone with this experience. But is your daughter doing better now? and how did you help her?
1 person likes this
4 Jun 08
At first I thought she was just ignoring me or selective hearing. I knew her physical hearing was fine. I had several discussions with her classroom teacher and we decided to do some testing. Public schools will do this, I don't know about private. She scored very low on the auditory processing tests. There were exercises we did at school and home to help memory and focus during distraction. We have to brush up on them every once in a while. I don't know why such little things make a difference in her behaviour but it's great.
@kerriannc (4280)
• Jamaica
1 Jun 08
Well why should you be disappointed in her. The teacher's says it is a language barrier and you disagreed. When you teach her at home do you teach her in the two different languages. When she comes home from school do you take out her books and teach her in the other languages. What is the main language that they speak in school. Nelly this child is young and molding her to be like you will not cut it. Use the language that is use in school. Speak to her in that language. As far as the child is concern you are confusing her. Alot of children start school early and fall behind. My elder sister start at age 2. She is neither a doctor, teacher or anyone of important. Starting school early just push the brain that is not ready. You can teach her the other language when her brain is capable and ready. Too many times parents make decisions that is hard on their child and they do not know this until it is too late. Think first about the child and remember when you was a child also. What you did like/dislike. What your parents did that you didn't enjoy doing but it was force upon you. I wish you all the best.
1 person likes this
1 Jun 08
Maybe as you said I want her to be like me or better than me. I didn't push her to all that. She used to catch up fast. Now she is slower in response than before. I talk to her in both languages at home. I am trying to find a way to get her back when she was more focused. I don't like to yell at the kid, because I don't want her to be scared of me as I was scared of my parents yelling at me.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Jun 08
I agree with gramma-definately take your concerns to your pediatrician. Since she was so advanced at 18 months, you have a legitimate concern. Don't put it off. If she does need specialized help, the earlier she gets it the better. She may have ADD- alot more girls are being diagnosed with it but if medication is suggested, be cautious about it and maybe get a second opinion. It seems like drs are using that as a catch all diagnosis these days. Don't panic, it very well may be a language thing as the school suggests (at least for what they tested her for).
1 person likes this
1 Jun 08
Thanks a lot for your comment. I am reading about the ADD you mentioned in your message. Didn't know about it at all before.
1 person likes this
@grammasnook (1875)
• United States
31 May 08
Well I believe you should speak to your family doctor and have him run some tests on her, make sure it isn't a physical or mental disorder. She could have add or adhd. She is 5 years old at that age many wonder, it may well be a language barrier as well. At that age it is difficult to say, because most are not focused. Your doctor will have all the answers for you and if he doesn't ask him/her where to go.
1 person likes this
1 Jun 08
Thank you for the advice. I wasn't thinking of involving her doctor to the problem.
1 person likes this
@ritchel (843)
• Philippines
20 Jun 08
Hi, good day! Welcome to myLot. Just try to be patient with her. I know sooner with your guidance she will be doing impressive work.
• India
19 Jun 08
Yes there could be a language barrier. As the children grown their brain also matures accordingly. The process of learning might get hindered because of a language barrier. Try to make her concentrate on one language. Aslo as the children grow up they tend to get distracted. Make her like to study by rewarding suitably to her. If you have tried all these things and still if she is not able to learn i think its high time to consult a Doctor to work up her psychological profile.
• United States
19 Jun 08
I think you ought to think about if she has changed in any other ways.Is she still walking and talking and laughing as she did.If this is the case before I tried a doctor what I would try is getting a lot of those fun to preschool activity books.I say preschool because she is bound to be able to get the answers right and this will build her confidence.Give her a sticker for every page she completes.She will be learning no matter what and enjoying it.If she grasps the preschool and does well with it then introduce the kindergarten stuff to her .Tell her how well she did with the other stuff and now you know she can do this harder stuff. If you find she isn't grasping it and you can't her to sit still and try then you might want to alk to a doctor,she is still young,and some of these doctors are way to quick to say add or adhd when all it might be is she isn't interested,find away that will work for her to get her interested. I hope this helps, Jas
@nicky35 (747)
2 Jun 08
try not to worry 2 much
@vidhyagowri (1974)
• United States
1 Jun 08
To tell u the truth I have the same problem with my girls. Some they behave very nicely and sometimes they dont. I leave them alone and let them play whenever they behave badly. After half or one hour they will come back and do the work properly. Or try giving your kid, her favorite snack during those time and give her some time. May be she will imrpove. Also talk to her pediatrician
• Australia
1 Jun 08
Sounds like she is underachieving. If she did all that before she can do it again. Perhaps her class isn't challenging enough for her.
@acevivx (1566)
• Philippines
1 Jun 08
I suggest you consult a specialist before its too late to do anything about it if anything is wrong with her. We might be able to give so many suggestions or advice but in the end it is best to consult a doctor or specialist as thy are in the bestposition to do tests and examnations and to evaluate the results thereof. Wouldn't you like to eliminate the pssibility that there mght be something wrong with your daughter instead of just becoming frustrated about it but not doing anything? And if there's anything wrong, wouldn't you like that the soonest something can be done about it, the better? Don't be disappointed with her or don't blame her because it may not be her fault or its something beyond her control.
@nicky35 (747)
1 Jun 08
she speaks 2 languages,thats fantastic,shes five years old and i know she has to learn but she is very young,give her a break and dont be so hard on her,give her a doll to play with,let her colour in pictures and dance to music,let her be five.I was five once ond it didnt last long and i also have 3 kids age 3,6 and 10.take it easy on her and on yourself.
@Hatley (164170)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Jun 08
Perhaps you are struggling too hard with her and she is resenting it. maybe you need to calm down 'and know this is some sort of temporary set' back. she was smart and probably is still just as 'smart as she may be pushing your buttons and getting you all upset.You need to relax and not push so hard. She is not like you so will never do things just like you. she is her own person. make it fun for her not' misery and she will soon be back to normal.