Depression, wasting time and escapism.

@skaterx (530)
Finland
June 1, 2008 1:01pm CST
Hi. Sometimes I get depressed. I feel miserable because no friends have called me, or they don't pick up the phone, so I have noone to socialise with, or hang out with. Then as little things like that start piling up, I end up having no clue what I'm supposed to be doing, like studying, or doing something productive. Or I just feel so low that I don't do anything anymore. So I type alot, and spend time on the internet reading things. And then I still feel bad. Then I'm also playing games, and feeling bad. It's like I try to avoid the problem because its hard to deal with. I don't know why one of my friends is not picking up the phone or replying, but I've only called him twice this week so there could be logical reasons why he didn't pick up. But he hasn't messaged me at all. My flatmate is quite antisocial too, or at least he doesn't talk to me that much. Then my room is a mess, and I leave the dishes in the sink because its hard to get myself to do things in order, when I feel so depressed. Does anyway experience similar? And how do you deal with it? Sometimes everything is fine and im really happy and motivated to do things. But then some small things happen and I get depressed. Even if i know its not the end of the world if some friends stop talking to me, or don't invite me to things, I feel quite lonely because of that, and hurt too.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@freedomg (1684)
• United States
2 Jun 08
I totally get like that sometimes. I'm an at home mom with very little contact with the outside world. I started opening my blinds (sunlight is very good for you) trying to get outside as often as possible and force your self to clean up the messes around you. I know it's hard but being surrounded by a mess is depressing alone, cleaning it up will remove that factor and give you an added sense of accomplishment (bonus boost). You may also want to look into a hobby that makes you feel good and get you around other people with like interests. I started teaching a volunteer art class for second graders. Kids always think the art teacher is cool and they are so much fun.
@skaterx (530)
• Finland
3 Jun 08
Oh wow, it's cool that you're teaching art class :) Well, its quite nice being with kids sometimes! I babysitted this 6 year old a few times, and he was nice. And kids are so innocent and thoughtful, you know, when you get sick of the adult kinda world, with all its dramas, its good to go back to simple sometimes!
• India
2 Jun 08
I also experience the same many times but i have found that if we know that it is only a phase, the depression and dispondency actually leaves you refereshed once you recover. More often than not, the pressure of the world to be outwardly and active actually makes you feel that you have a problem, though it is only your nature. Try to assess yourself and see if it is owing to some problem(financial/emotional etc) or just your nature at the root.
@skaterx (530)
• Finland
2 Jun 08
Yeah, I feel the same way about it. I guess its always a phase, thanks for people replying here, it helps to lift me out of it. Yeah I think basically all kinds of depression come from some kinda emotional problem in some way, whether you're lacking friendship, attention, understanding, or all kinds of things that can cause you to feel hurt or sad. I guess all we can do is try to learn from everything, and find people who care about us, and to care about ourselves, and love ourselves too. Well always, thanks for all the kind words :). People who understand make my life so much better!
@_Honey_ (781)
• Philippines
1 Jun 08
All people have feelings and emotions. And I would say that getting depressed is a normal situation. People get depressed when they get into situation they're not comfortable with, the feel not pleasurable and desirable. Situations that pull out the happiness in them. Shame on me, but like most people, I would be honest to say that my first depression was when I broke up with my first boyfriend back in college. Until now, I can say that it was the most terrible experiences I had. I never want to experience that again. After we broke up, I kept my room locked, dark, and I never opened the windows. My eyes were swollen due to sleepless nights of crying. I was the ugliest person alive way back then. I still go to school. But I had this unhealthy way of socially withdrawing from my friends. I didn't join them during lunch and going home after class. I stopped writing down my thoughts in my journal, I lost appetite and I never wanted to take a bath. I just wanted to stay in my room while my thoughts flew in oblivion. And that lasted for more than six months. I felt that my mental capacities to memorize and come up with words deteriorated. It's my choice to live my life again is what pulled me back to my sanity. First, and I would say this is the most important. KNOW WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BAD. KNOW WHAT MAKES YOU SAD. same with computer. Troubleshoot first, before resolving the issue. Coz you'll never how to fix things up if you don't know what to fix in the first place. Second, think and come up of ways on how to solve issues. You can ask a friend for advice. People at mylot are concerned and intelligent people. I'm pretty sure you'll get a lot of good advices. Third, once things are fixed, try to maintain its good quality. whether would it be work wise or personal matters. nurture whatever relationship you have. BUT, always bear in mind, that you can't please everybody. Having this mind frame will make you realize that not all people will reciprocate to the endearment you show or to the special treatment you give. Don't push for something the other person doesn't want to. IT ALWAYS HAS TO BE MUTUAL or just dump it if it doesn't work. I can sense that you're still young. And I know that life is pretty cool, awesome and all the adjective. It's like a rollercoaster ride. But it's still healthy to be right. You know what I'm saying. Always stick to good people, to good relationship as much as you can. They will bring out the best in you and make you grow not by your heart but by your soul. Hope this helps. Cheers.
@skaterx (530)
• Finland
1 Jun 08
Hey you know, i can identify with that. Except that not feeling close to any real friends was even worst than breaking up with someone for me. I slept pretty badly as a teenager, like went to be really late being on the net, and then woke up in the afternoon, like when i could do that... and in school i was really depressed. But when i was depressed I kept journalling, i think that helped. But yeah I can understand with dramatic change, people can go into depression. I had the swollen eye thing from crying too much when i broke up with my bf too. I know it feels really terrible yeah. And it wouldn't stop, i would think of stuff and it would trigger again. I used to sit in the bath for a long time because that's the only place i felt warm and comfortable, because i was so depressed. Yeah, i have to work on maintaining a good lifestyle, and being nice to myself. I never treated myself to many things, i was always kind of strict on myself. My parents hardly gave me an presents as a kid, i would get like maybe 10 bucks at xmas, but no birthday presents after i was about 11 or something, and i never got into the habit of treating myself well, until recently i think. They were always talking about how poor they were, but it was cos my dad was gamblingg. I always wanted to save money so i could move away from them. Luckily i feel a bit better now, its just hard making or keeping friends sometimes, since i felt so alone as a kid. I didn't feel that loved. So relationships and friendships are something I have to work on. But yeah, keep to good people makes our lives better :) thanks for reminding me. I hope you grow and do well too with your life. Thankyou for your kind advice!
@Pose123 (21661)
• Canada
1 Jun 08
Hi skaterx, Many people get this way sometimes, and it can be difficult to get over. Instead of thinking about how depressed you feel, try a more positive approach, tell yourself that things are not really that bad and that they will improve. Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to me. Get at those dishes and enjoy the feeling of the warm water on your hands, tell yourself that it isn't half as bad as you thought it would be. Clean your room and think the same way. Don't let your happiness depend on others. Your friend may have called by then, if not go out and mingle with others, even if it's at the mall. I'm not saying that your depression isn't real, I've experienced it and know that it can be terrible. Remember you are important and have as much right to be happy as anyone else. Blessings.
@skaterx (530)
• Finland
1 Jun 08
Oh thanks for this Pose :) (I love your owl pic by the way, its so cute, gonna call you mr or ms Owl :D. The wise one ;)) Yeah im already feeling a bit better, and cleaned up some things. Sometimes i just get to a point where I feel so down in the dumps. But then I did call some other friends and talk to them, and they were nice, and it makes me feel better! Thanks for the encouraging and thoughtful words.
@zeroflashx2 (2489)
• Philippines
1 Jun 08
It's ok to feel sad, lonely, and depressed. It happens to most of us. Some activities to tend to be more of a reliever than a controller. I play video games as well if I'm depressed but sometimes, it reflects on my game. Try to go out under the sun. Go to parks and shopping malls where there are lots of people. You may have some other friends who would want to go with you. Or better yet, if you have family / relatives nearby, go to them.
@skaterx (530)
• Finland
1 Jun 08
Well funny enough I've been playing 'the World Ends with you', where the main character started off hating everyone and is a lone wolf, and then realises the value of friendship, but im a bit like that too, just lonely. And feel odd when im just by myself, I feel even more alone when I'm walking through the crowd by myself. when im with a friend, I can just relax, because I dont have to feel alone. I guess family is important too, I live alone here, with no family close to me, so that's a slight problem :o. I need more friends I think.
• Australia
2 Jun 08
It definitely sounds as though you're suffering from mild depression. I know exactly how that feels since I suffer from depression myself. Sometimes I feel as though I'm being sucked backwards into a black hole and no matter how hard I try to claw my way out I just get sucked further in and I just wish the everything and everyone would go away and leave me alone... I'd say you can relate to my description just as I can to yours. Okay, what to do about it... see your doctor and tell him/her how you are feeling. They'll probably put you on anti-depressants to see if that helps (which I can almost guarantee will) Sometimes when you're depressed you can't motivate yourself to do the things you need to do. One of the reasons is that you are thinking of 'all' the things you need to do and feeling daunted by the prospect so you don't do anything. In that situation I recommend something I do... break it into manageable chunks (ie. individual chores). If you have to do the ironing, dishes and washing, commit yourself to doing just one of those each day and make yourself do it. Then, when you get to the end of your day and you think, 'ok, what have I accomplished today?' You can answer yourself that you did that one job. That way, you don't feel guilty for not having done anything. It works, and you feel a little better the following day, making it easier to get that one task completed.
@Gmdem13 (156)
• United States
2 Jun 08
Hi Skaterx! So, im very glad you came up with this discussion... i experiance the same thing. if im am bored and have nothing to do, or my friends dont pick up the phone when i have nothing to do and just want to get out.... i get very upset and not happy with just about anything.. as all of the little problems in my life build up, they wind up coming out at the wrong time, very much more exagerated than they should be. i found that if i find something i love doing, i just have to keep myself busy. for me this is easy, i am very interested in drawing and art, so if i am upset or in this "state of mind" i go into my room, shut the door, turn on my music and draw, or write, or look at old pictures. i take this time to do things that i never make the time to do. to think about the past, to remember happy memorie and remember old friends and family, to do something that i enjoy just to calm down and become more relaxed.
• United States
2 Jun 08
I've been depressed for quite some time now myself. My doctor says it is due to a hormonal imbalance, I say it stems from my lack of exercise! I've found that exercise is a natural way to fight depression without the hassle of taking pills or putting yourself in a bind. Perhaps that would help you too?