My parents are going for a divorce , I m all alone.

India
June 2, 2008 3:07am CST
Hello friends is shashikant yadav, i m all slone now. my parents have decided to split and i hae told me to decide to select one out of them to live with. i m all confued could you guys please tell me what to do? I m not able to think of anything, and please sugest me some ways so as to stop them of getting split. please do this favour to me.
6 people like this
40 responses
• Philippines
3 Jun 08
I'm sorry to hear that your parents decided to split. Married people now think that divorce is the best solution of marital problems. They don't understand that divorce is the start of the problems of the children. If you want them to stay together, you are the best person that can hold them. Ask them to listen to each other and speak or talk on a low voice at a time. Let them swallow their pride and be humble of what ever they achieved in life. Let them realize that you want to be a good and better person in the community and this will only be realized if you have a complete family together.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jun 08
I'm sorry Elmircesar that you feel this way but don't speak of things that you do not know about. Telling him that he is the best person who can hold them together. Unfortunately this is not a light decision for parents with kids. I come from a household that was divorced it doesn't mean that because they are not together that I'm looked poorly on in the community. How people look at you should be on the merit of what you do not where you come from. It can hurt a family and everyone involved more if they stay together because if they are unhappy it trickles down to the kids.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jun 08
Hello Shashikant. I am really sorry for you. You have not mentioned your age, so it will be difficult for us to advice for you. May be you can sit and think for yourself as its you who has to live.
• India
11 Jun 08
Now what have you decided and what is the situation as of now.
• India
10 Jun 08
yeah.. thanks but i just wanted to have your advice on this.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
2 Jun 08
Well I know it must be sad for you but if your parents are not happy together maybe it is best they part and both try to find happiness as you will when you meet someone special, life is too short to spend too much time being unhappy, as for you I think you should spend time with both, it just means you will have two homes until you have your own home, but I don't think you should have to pick one or the other...
• United States
8 Jun 08
I am so sorry that they are divorcing. I don't think there is anything you can do to make them stay together. But just because they can't live together doesn't mean they love you any less. Take care.
@nanayangel (7879)
• Philippines
2 Jun 08
HI there yshashikant! I think that there's nothing that you can do to stop the divorce. I'm sure that your parents thought hard about it, and tried to avoid it from happening. I think the best thing to do is to choose where do you think will be a better place for you. I know it's really hard. I came from a broken family too. But there's nothing left to do but accept it and move on.
• India
3 Jun 08
yes miss i know that you are true there is nothing that i can think of doing now. i now am all on the hands of god. i have decided to leave everything on his hands afterall he is great. and yes as far choosing the one place that i have to is what i dont want to do. but atlast i will have to go for that thing. i cant do anything else. thanks for your support. i hope this dosen't happen with anyother child in this world.
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
11 Jun 08
hi brother... Pray I suggest because nothing can change their minds and heart besides the one who gave it to them. And if they still decide to split, you should be giving both of your parents some time and still all your love. Like one week you'll be on your dad's home and the following week on your mom's. I hope and pray also that they'll stay together. Anyway, feel free to communicate with me anytime... I can be your friend whom you can count on. God bless you and your loveones
@kbkbooks (7022)
• Canada
4 Jun 08
I don't know how old you are, so this is hard. You need to talk to someone like a close friend or spiritual mentor (pastor, rabbi or other). It is so unfair for your parents to just dump this kind of decision on you so quickly. When my husband and I divorced we tried just to do what was best for the kids. Since I had two boys we decided it was best for my husband to have permanent custody and I had visitation. There is an agreement that say I am supposed to have them three weekends out of four. That worked fine for a while but now my kids are growing up I find they spend more time doing their own things and very seldom with me. They still live with their dad. Next year the first one starts college and will be in the town where I live for his schooling, and since he will have a car, I think he might spend more time with me. I'm so sorry for you. Please try to find someone you can talk to and trust. I hope you will.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
3 Jun 08
Tell them that you are not going to choose between them. If they want to split up, then it is their decision although I do not think it is a good idea. Tell them just because they do not like each other, you are not going to hate one just to please the other or live with one and have nothing to do with the other. You need both your parents. Is there a counselor that you can talk to? He might be able to help. You can live half the year with one and half the year with the other or you can spend one month with one, and one month with the other, or one week with one and one week with the other until you are old enough to be on your own.
• Australia
5 Jun 08
so sorry to hear sad story, but life is what we make it.It's better to be separated than staying together but not in good terms.Just don't take side let them know whatever happened you love them both.Let them move on,later you'll have your own family.Goodluck
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
8 Jun 08
I am not one to suggest that people opt for divorce. Perhaps your parents can go for counseling sessions to see if there is any chance of them getting together again. However, in event that it is better for them to split, I guess you would have the independence to decide and fend for yourself instead of committing yourself to either parent.
• China
6 Jun 08
I am sorry to hear from this news, and i think you should tell them how you love them , and you hope they can live with you tegether !
• United States
4 Jun 08
I would move along with my life and find something enjoyable like writing poetry or my day journal. I felt the same as you did. My parents divorce in August 2007, but I felt totally confused because there were some speculation that my father cheating on my mother for another woman. I really don't know much about this incident, but my mother feels a relief from it. I usually would spend time with her because I'm her only daughter. She had known my father for so many years and always noticing that he would do something behind her back, which was unlawful. Even though I was born out of wedlock, my parents had their marriage license when I was six years old. I still have contact with both of my divorced parents every now and then. I now live alone in my apartment.
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
7 Jun 08
I am sorry for your situation but I have to say you can not make anything work for you're parents. They have decided to divorce because they couldn't make it work. To try and keep them together would be worse than them divorcing. I have been throught my mom divorcing my step dad. My mom and dad had their marriage annulled when I was 2 months old. So I have lived in as split house hold for a long time. I will tell you that they both love you and this had nothing to do with you, it's about their ability to coexist together under one roof. Also know that you came from love. That at one point they did love eachother enough to coexist together. But in life there are no guarentees that when you marry or fall in love that it's forever.. We all grow everyday and sometimes we grow together and sometimes we grow apart. Unfortunately through the years they must have grown apart. Don't choose one parent choose both it's called joint custody. Reassure them that you love them both and that is why you want the joint so that you can have equal time with both. Take care and I hope that you will over come your sadness with time. Just realize that it is for the best and this decision didn't come over night and that they tried and just couldn't it has nothing to do with you at all this is their bad not yours.
@Mrchikeh (53)
5 Jun 08
Dear Yshashikant,I don't know what to say about this cos the case is too complecated given that they've aggreed to part.But I'll think very well,and I hope other mylot friends will also come up with reasonable advise.For the mean time,keep calm and stay focused-you'll get over this soon,okay!
@kaleegirl45 (1515)
• United States
3 Jun 08
Hi yshashikant Once two people have made up their minds on a divorce, there is nothing anyone can do to change their opinions. Maybe theyw ill be better off, now you don't have to hear and see them fighting. As for picking sides, How do you feel? I know it's not fair that you have to be put in the middle. Are you going to college? If so are staying on campus? If you are give both of them their space, and let them know that you will be here both of them. You can take turns staying with each parent.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
3 Jun 08
Hi yshashikant, I realize that this has to be very difficult for you, but I don't think you should have to choose between one or the other. Can you spend some time with each? If your parents are having problems and are not happy together, I don't think there is much you can do about that, as it's something that only they can work out. Try to handle things as best you can and take good care of yourself. Blessings.
@jesus777 (662)
• Bermuda
3 Jun 08
my parents got divorced too but my mom drove my dad away he is remarried now and is happy now that he is happy she is unhappy and i live with and it is not pleasant at all i miss my dad very much he now lives in america and im in bermuds so i dont see him as much as i used too and that is hard for me i used too see him on a daily basis and now i feel that his new wife and his step daughter have taken him away from me he was the only one that i could talk too here my mom and live under the same roof and never talk too one another this sadens me but i guess life is not supposed too be cake walk so sometimes we just have too deal with things that disappoint us sometimes things in life our out of our control so we have too saccept them it may not be easy too do that but sometimes we have just make the best of our lives i know that is not easy but we just have too try too live life to fullest and not that things or situations get us down!!!!!!!
@Crysi23 (515)
• United States
3 Jun 08
My parents got a divorce when I was young so I never had to choose one parent over the other I had time with them each 6 months. Until eventually my dad decided that he wanted me full time when I was 4. If you don't feel comfortable choosing one parent over the other tell them that and see if there isn't away that you can spend time with them equally like: Spend a week with your mom and the weekends with your dad then switch them or you can do whatever your heart is telling.
@aero89 (422)
• United States
3 Jun 08
Get a place of your own to live. You CANNOT stop them from splitting, stay out of it. Get a place of your own to live. Get a place of your own to live. No matter which parent you share a roof with, sht's going to be weird. Get a place of your own to live. lol... you can do it, and it will help your sanity.
@16031981 (449)
• Jamaica
3 Jun 08
that is sad, sorry to hear about that. my child prayer is the key to anything but if God see it fit so be they might end up killing each other one day jus pray let them no that one hand cant clap. tell them if they dont try working things out and they split you wont be living with either of them. good luck. God bless